questionable

i post spoilers but i tag them, so. be warned. i don't tag triggers or nsfw stuff so also be wary in that regard

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fyi i don't debate or talk to people much on here, if you disagree with my takes and feel the need to exclaim it to me, just know i don't care whatsoever and will just delete anything you say and block you. this blog is mostly where i talk to myself. just scroll away idk

i have so many scenes i'm excited to write out and what's been putting me off is the fact that i have so much written so far (22.5k words or so) and im a perfectionist. but i'm being more lenient with myself so. there's that

i gotta get to bed though. when i wake up im gonna rewatch the iwtv/tvl s3/s1 finale since i didn't watch it tonight. yeah yeah, i know, it's surprising i am not currently watching it. but i wanted to prioritize my writing for once

i'm thinking about getting to a like cliffhanger point and then asking for a beta reader. like cutting it in half, getting someone to read that half, and then i work on the other half. idc if people have to read like tens of thousands of words at a time, i literally read so many books at this point that i know it wouldn't be that difficult for anyone else to read my writing. especially bc im not a bad writer at all lol

anyways i'm just rambling and wanting to post an update even if i am just talking to myself

so i'm back to working on my mlm vampire x human dark romantasy. i'll let you guys know how it goes lol i have run out of books to read (not rlly just nothing is tickling my fancy at the moment out of everything i have saved)

i finally have so much inspiration and ideas for writing and phrasing and scenes. hopefully i'll continue sticking with this story. it's fun to work on

at this current exact moment, i am rereading everything and editing anything i see. if anything sound stupid, or if i'm using certain words too many times for my own liking. i've also learned that i shouldn't be so critical of my writing bc so many writers with full on published books and lots of em have a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. and they will repeat words. a billion times. and will also start sentences with the same words a lot. and it's helped me be less mean to myself about the way i write

i'm a perfectionist so. im kinda addicted to everything being absolutely perfect and i feel like ill be torn apart by others if it isn't. but hey. i have learned i dont need to be perfect or amazing or the best. i can just be. and that's okay

anyways i have changed a few plot ideas bc i don't intend on this being my only story i write. i wanna write other stories too. and so im gonna make sure to not throw every little idea i have into one story lol i wanna write other characters and work on other things too eventually. i wanna start somewhere though and not put too much pressure on myself

saw a really hot guy from some show i havent seen yet and when i saw him kiss a woman i was confused for a second bc i was expecting it to be a man

i just love that he was in so much denial about the feelings he had for armand and wanting to punish lestat so badly that he just... had a hallucination of lestat following him around