#asuturtle

send me three names + a number…

Marry: @dumturtle? Again, girl code, so not because I want to, but he’s my boyfriend’s identical cousin, I can’t kill do anything else with him! Loveless sexless marriage to keep him alive. 

Cuddle: @prncsscndi, because I’m not interested in females like that and she seems like she maybe wants to be friends, and friends cuddle during movie nights!

Sleep with: @khalid-basara. But actual sleeping? Because um, he went on a date with my friend and GIRL CODE! 

Sparrow: Hey, are you busy?

Sparrow: Don't answer that, I know you're not busy so you're coming with me to the store.

@lyra-k: When I was young, I always thought I’d end up with Lyra and Turkey would end up with Ally. 

@allsleigh: Now, perhaps, I could see her ending up with the Mad Hatter instead, bizarre as that sounds.

@deeturkey: As a cousin I’m meant to support his choices, so @sydneyandersen?

@lovelywatersthatch: Narwhals.

@diamcndskylucy: Octopi. 

@dum-sparrow: Centipedes.

@dumturtle:  Caterpillars. 

@marley-yao is desperate, so she’d be ready to insta-marry the first guy who throws her a bone. If anyone is stupid enough to be her Valentine, they’ll be stuck with her for months. Maybe @jeremypotts or @marcoalandale? They seem to be falling for her ‘oh gosh you think I’m cute?’ crap.

Is it just me, or does @sydneyandersen and @deeturkey happening give anyone else the feeling that @dumturtle and @quincydavis are going to get back together just so they don’t feel left out?

@stargirlvasilovich looks poised and ready to get some. Whether it’s from @neilbubbles being obsessed with her for being named after a star, or @nickelforrester being obsessed with her being an actual star, who knows?

@cashforrester and @margovasilovich? What the fuck is that? I saw them planning their first date though, and if I were her, I’d hold onto that forever.

@ellecharming and @rtpendragon. He’ll let her fuck his brains out like she wants, and then he’ll feel obligated to instantly propose because he’s just that special brand of boring and predictable.

@lilyofthegoth and @liamdvbois. I thought they’d been a couple already for like the past year, but based on their obnoxious faux-oblivious posts about each other, it seems like they’re waiting for the right moment to make it official. My guess is that’s going to be Valentine’s Day, and they can live snoringly ever after.

I’d say @fisaac and @cassieadale but... His little sister’s a huge cockblock and gloms onto him at every major holiday, so better luck next time? 

Am I the only one who heard that @casperlockex was actually asking about flowers? Last I checked he was into one of those Sherwood girls but I can’t remember which, so... him and @jojohood or @katie-kluck or @racheladale or whatever.

@dev-sinclair and @sweethilde. No prince is every going to fall for you, sweetie, just settle for an Isle hottie before they’re all snapped up and you’re a lonely old hag. 

Lyra: So... I might have completely fucked up in a very bad way and I need you to help me fix it!