Oh, now this is fun. Auradon’s been seriously off of their dating game this year, let’s see if we can get them to wake the fuck up and entertain us through the power of suggestion:

@emmettvardaros and @n-atua. If you’re going to be boring and off the market just fuck each other instead of your girlfriends. 

@emery-gothel and @madlymyrcella. Forget Dopey Oakley and just go for each other.  

@cashforrester and @diamcndskylucy. Because there’s got to be a reason she follows her cousin around so much, and it’s probably because she wants to bone one of @aliciatriton‘s friends.

@jessgibbs and @marcoalandale. Now THAT would be fun to watch. 

@katie-kluck and @sweethilde. Why not, am I right? 

Our names both start with H, that would be like way too confusing. 

You think we have all the free time in the world to talk about some mediocre-looking freshman wannabe? Pass. If she has a deal – which I doubt she does – we don’t know and we don’t care. 

Just like Addison, @sweethilde is a freshie and would be much better off with someone her own age.

I adore @sweethilde, but not like that! 

We’re not each other’s types but I’m super glad @sweethilde is my sorority sister and friend!

@sweethilde? She cute, but she got bad taste, only wanting dumb old princes.