#asubrooke

Wait, are we seriously already thinking about next year here? Because if we are, chop chop, people, you’ve got ten months to get your act together, and I know half of you are half braindead and will take that long or longer.

With that said... here’s my 2020 wishlist:

@levbelrose and @chloeoftheball. Steal her right out from under your big brother’s nose, Baby Belrose! It would be the most interesting thing you’ve ever done in your entire life.

@andreatriton and @whereswaldohatter. Karma’s a bitch just like @scarlettcorazon.

@maddielabouff and @cecefacilier. Stop making heart eyes at @jimdubs, get together, and then drive each other so crazy you off each other, yay!

@rosalienothale and @lacklands. Just so that those bratty freshmen will stop acting like they’re going to be the premiere theater couple around here. They’re not even hot!

And I already got my wish of Marley and Dylan getting back together, which means... I deserve a Valentine. Boys, you have 10 months to impress the hot, single member of the Donati family, time’s ticking!

SEND 6 PEOPLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO I WOULD:

do the sexy love™ with: Um... @quincydavis, I guess? If I was going to girl-experiment it would be with her.

sacrifice myself for: @kendallandersen.

kick:  @peydavis? She’s Quincy’s family but she’s not always nice to Quinn so... boop!

take to prom: @princessxymarley.

abandon in jurassic park: Brooke.

push off a bridge: @emmettvardaros.

Bang-a-rang: I guess Brooke Donati’s pretty banging.

Wife Up: Rory seems like she’d secretly be a sweetie deep down.

Drown or something: Mal. 

SEND 6 PEOPLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO I WOULD:

do the sexy love™ with:  Rory! She may be mean but boy is she beautiful.  

sacrifice myself for: Melody, probably.

kick: Nuka. 

take to prom: Ginny. 

abandon in jurassic park: Brooke.

push off a bridge: Kion. He’s just too young for me, I didn’t mean for this to seem so harsh, dang.

SEND 6 PEOPLE AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO I WOULD:

Oh em gee, so many of these girls are like, #goals. 

do the sexy love™ with: None of them but I’ve heard like @ailsbroch is the one to learn from!

sacrifice myself for: @novafitzherbert? She’s like closest to my age and people super like her?

kick: Brooke, she’s like so awesome but I know she made people mad for a while so like... shame on her.

take to prom: @venusfitzherbert, please!

abandon in jurassic park: @ruefitz the adventure princess!

push off a bridge: @mackennadunbroch as like, one of her social experimentals? 

Marley thought Dylan was everything she wanted, but it turns out a different Donati had stolen her heart. Can she find a way to be with Brooke without devastating Dylan? (Beware: cheating ahead!!!)

Dear Brooke,

Did you know when you dumped me that I was gonna hear your words in my head over and over again forever? That you were gonna make me doubt myself even when I found a really cool girl who likes me? That even when I’m really happy I was always going to worry that I was too dumb or that I didn’t deserve her?

I hope that goes away someday, but I think I’m always going to wonder. So... good job. You kind of ruined my brain (which you thought was already broken anyway). And you kind of ruined any chance I ever had of liking you as a person again, too.

I wish I’d never dated you.

-Bowie

The Brooke thing’s over forever now, dudes, sorry not sorry. 

@asuxsor