on sharing personal information (especially as a system)
i think a problem we have online is feeling we have a right to know everything about other people straight off, when this isn't actually true. we've been taught internet safety, but this neglects to take into account the way the internet is nowadays, which causes us to ignore this and give out more personal info than is safe, i know this, i've done it myself and come dangerously close to seeing the consequences, so i'd like to try and make sure others don't make the same mistakes.
a good thing about tumblr for example is that i can filter out specific tags, meaning i don't have to give out all our triggers. which is great for me: on other websites we've had to have the list on following so trolls don't come in to purposely trigger us, but that can only do so much.
anyway, one tip i'd give for systems specifically is: you don't need to give out all the info on your system. here's a quick, non-exhaustive guide! if in doubt, leave it out.
things that are probably safe to put on a public syslist, but don't feel required to!
alter names
appearances
any proxies they may have to show they're fronting
pronouns
general age ranges
likes/dislikes
things you could put on, but it's up to you whether you should
alter roles: this may seem safe, but if for example you had a particularly fragile trauma holder, you might not want that info public since someone could take advantage of that.
sources of introjects: there are people on the internet who harass introjects and treat them the same as their source material (sometimes maliciously, sometimes through ignorance). we have an introject who has changed their name because they simply got frustrated and upset at being treated as their source and felt fake for it.
specific ages: especially in the case of littles! remember they're mentally children so are pretty vulnerable. be very careful with littles online.
notes on what to do if a specific alter is fronting: by all means, if a certain alter needs to be accommodated in a specific way while fronting, put this on. for example, one of our trauma holders should not be vented to, because he just isn't stable enough to handle it. however, use your own judgement whether or not that needs to be public.
uncommon triggers which are major and need to be tagged: if you think no one is going to be tagging this trigger by themselves, and it's a big trigger that can affect you greatly, you may want to give people the heads up to tag it. again, this is taking the risk that someone can use it against you, but if you really need the number of posts with the trigger in it that you're seeing reduced, this can help.
exact number of alters: i'm a bit iffy on this one. i think most people would put this in but i don't like having to put it up all the time because i worry people will decide we're faking just because we split a couple of times in quick succession. but you do you.
things you should not be putting publically (should only be given out to trusted people)
positive triggers for alters: other people should never be pos triggering an alter unless specifically given permission. that's a violation of bodily autonomy. if you want to give these out to friends, be my guest, but don't make them public.
negative triggers: can easily be used against you. i know i'm sounding paranoid, but trust me on this. you do not want anons in your ask box casually triggering you just because some post of yours pissed them off.
specific traumas: again, as above. especially with trauma holders. don't give randoms the tools to make you have a breakdown.
anything an alter has asked not to be public: respect your alters! even if something they don't want public seems trivial to you, you shouldn't be sharing it. remember they're just as much of a person as you are. (one of ours doesn't even want to be put on the syslist. it's a bit of a bother for my system tracking, but i'll go with it)
and remember, if you don't want to give the info in the top two lists out, you don't need to. no one has the right to your information, so if you don't want to share something, you do not have to.
stay safe, everyone !
- aida
