#adhd i

“noooo we are not brushing our teeth!! I would never!! we are just getting out our toothbrush that is all!! and putting paste on it!! and putting it in our mouth!! oh ! oh no ! now it is in our mouth so we might as well brush”

A payslip arrived.

tl;dr at the bottom

so today i was at the dentist and they saw that i take adhd meds. he said something like “your case must not be as severe as some peoples. my son has adhd and he is always bouncing off the walls. but i can just sit here and have a normal conversation with you.” 

there is so SO much stigma involved with adhd and it drives me insane. i’m so sick of the “10-year-old boy who can’t sit still” stereotype. this is definitely a way that adhd is presented, and of course they're struggles are very valid. but neurotypicals only seeing adhd through that lense is so harmful. first of all, adhd is NOT just a “kids disorder”. seriously with this one? every article you find is “my child has adhd how to fix?” or “does my child have adhd?” as if only children struggle with adhd. as if it will just magically disappear. i’m so freaking sick of it. next, it’s the lack of understand of the inattentive side of adhd. this most likely comes from many of the symptoms being more difficult for the untrained eye to pick up on. inattentive adhd isn’t “less severe” then hyperactive adhd or “easier to handle”. it’s just different! as someone who is primarily inattentive, people just seem to constantly underestimate the effect that it has on our lives. they don’t see that we spend hours and hours on a project, all they see is that we turned it in late. they don’t see that we have to actively focus on focusing, all they see is us not paying attention. we have to work longer and harder than our nt piers (i’m not saying we have to work harder than nt at everything, just many tasks that a nt would find easy and fast we don’t because of the way our brain works!), but since people can’t see that, they see us as lazy. “pay attention” “try harder” “look at the board” “are you listening” “look at me when i’m speaking to you” “it’s only a few problems”. these are things i’ve been hearing since i was in kindergarden. this goes for any neurodiverse person: you aren’t “weak” for using your accommodations. they are there to help you, to even out the playing field. i use all of my extra time every time i take a test. is it kind of annoying? yeah. but at the end of the day, it drastically helps me. school and our society in general can be very ableist, and just because you’re struggling with something that neurotypicals aren’t, doesn’t mean that you are “less capable” or “more stupid” than neurotypicals. be kind to yourself and don’t compare yourself harshly to a neurotypical who may be able to do what you can in a much shorter period of time. that’s not fair, because you have an extra barrier to work with. if you struggle with these things and feel unseen, i see you, and there are many others going through the same thing.

if you have primarily inattentive adhd, or inattentive traits in your adhd, or adhd at all, you are such a badass!

!! of course everyone with adhd is valid and a badass! and primarily hyperactive people are amazing and have some of these struggles and some different ones that i don’t fully understand i just wanted to address some things about the inattentive side. i also know everyone’s adhd is different, i don’t speak from everyone whos primarily inattentive and they won’t relate to everything i say!

*this is based off of my experience and research but i’m not saying everything here is a fact, i just want to start a discussion.*  

i realize that i just wrote an extremely long post about adhd, so here’s the very crucial tl;dr:

inattentive adhd is so valid and isn’t “less severe” then more hyperactive forms of adhd.

just because people can’t always see your problems right away, that doesn’t mean they aren’t valid.

you aren’t weak for using accommodations!