tbh as an ADHD person handling a good 85% of the main cooking in a house of ADHD people, the main thing i have learned that is vitally important to keeping people fed is the Picking Meal.
the picking meal is a massive bowl of cold-served mixed food that you can just scoop a bowl of whenever and keep it moving. it's generally something viewed traditionally as a "side", but as long as you got most necessary food groups in the bowl, it's literally fine.
example: a dense bean salad with veggies, beans, perhaps cheese, and some kind of meat. maybe some thin sliced kale if you wanna get spicy with it, since kale can stand up to moisture longer than most greens. or a pasta salad with cheese cubes or shaved parmesan, shredded chicken, tomato, onion, parsley, etc.
just having a massive fuck off bowl of that in the fridge that'll stay good and still tasty for a solid week after it's made will solve SO many problems. it keeps people fed, lets them have something to sort of snack on when they want to eat but their appetite is a bit poor, and is convenient. plus, if it's a big fuck off bowl, the ADHD fridge blindness wont kick in when they open the door. especially if you use one of those shiny mixing bowls.
it also feels less like "leftovers" bc the ideal Picking Meal is one that isnt good when it's first made, but only gets good after it's chilled and soaked in its flavors a bit (especially when it has diced onions; they always taste better the longer they sit in these meals).
overall, invest in Picking Meals. and shiny, hilariously oversized mixing bowls.
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it's totally ok to put "basic hygiene" tasks on your to-do list. if you need to write it down to remember to brush your teeth, wash your face, take a full shower-do it. if you need a sticker to motivate you to cross it off your list-those little foil star stickers teachers use are like 2 bucks at the pharmacy.
this will also help with "man, i don't remember the last time i brushed my teeth." the sticker and crossed off item on your to-do list will tell you.
you can plan it out day-to-day, by the week, or do a whole month at a time. whatever will get you brushing your teeth or clipping your toe nails. it's totally valid to put on the to-do list.
I think i posted something along these lines at some point, but for all my fellow ADHD / Autistic friends who struggle to get up in the morning at a decent hour, and especially for those who have ADHD meds (like me finally this year!!):
If you always get up/ want go get up at a certain hour, but you require a lot of caffeine in the morning to actually feel awake (or alternatively, it takes a little while for the ADHD medicine to actually kick in):
Set an alarm on your phone for an hour or two *before* you actually need to get up for the day, put a bottle of water and your ADHD medicine (or an energy shot if you have to rely purely on caffeine) by your bed in easy reach, and when *that* early alarm goes off, take your adhd medicine/caffeine, then go right back to sleep 😂
Depending on your metabolism, in an hour and a half or two hours the ADHD medicine/caffeine will take effect, and you'll wake up naturally either a little bit before your actual alarm, or when it goes off, you won't be bone-deep exhausted!
Most people with ADHD and autism have some kind of sleeping disorder (there's a ton of comorbidities) that makes us produce melatonin a *lot* later in the evening/night than neurotypicals, so it can be very difficult to feel awake in the morning, and can take medication (or caffeine) awhile to kick in, so you spend the morning feeling like a zombie.
By setting a slightly easier alarm and taking your medication/caffeine an hour or so before you actually get up, it has time to work its magic and you can actually feel like a person in the morning!
✨ conventional and unconventional self-accommodations in daily life that have actually helped me a lot ✨
for adhd mostly, though theres probably some cross-application or other things im not fully diagnosed with that these also help! really, this is just a list of things ive done that have improved my life recently 💕
1. The Trunk
actual purpose: a designated raised surface solely for clothes in-between the laundry bin and the closet.
my trunk i found at a thrift store years ago is Old and Cool, but also the top is slightly concave (?) and is not a good table for literally anything else. and having a place specifically for in-between clothes has been huge for me, turning what i saw as a bad habit and moral failure (not putting clothes in either basket or closet) into a normal, morally neutral function of how I operate. the trunk is nicer and easier to open when clear of clothes, offering some incentive to clean the clothes off every now and then, but its not something that has to be opened daily and still looks good even with clothes on it. plus, the large but defined space keeps me from improvising places to put clothes, and thus keeps clothes from going everywhere or on other object i want to use more often. its been one of the best changes I've made because its a daily benefit and a symbol of acceptance for myself. AND the previous owner painted pride flags on the inside!
2. My Great Aunt's Table
another peice that has the sole purpose of being a landing zone for objects in-between places. everything on the table except that pole is permanent decoration i love, but that empty space has a Purpose to stay as empty as possible. this also accomodates how sonetimes i just wanna set something somewhere temporarily and deal with it later because my energy is zapped. this table is able to stay empty like this because 1, i got a clock on it and i wanna see it, 2, i got a jewlery box that again id like to see, and 3, those sides open from the top, so if i wanna use those huge storage spaces, i gotta keep enough room there to move stuff on the sides out of the way. also it's gorgeous and matches the trunk, so i especially want it to look nice. its also next to the door and directly across from my rest spots, so i see it a lot and therefore think to clear it off a lot too.
2.1 The Clock
adhd time blindness is a bitch, but pretty digital clock visible from every point in the room is a baddie and my wife.
this clock specifically is wonderful because its very easy to reset the time by just pressing hour and minute buttons on the top until you're at the time you need (which was probably annoying to those using it for alarm as one button on the top and youd mess up the time, but im obv not using it for that so ive had no issues)
2.2 Chapstick
if my lips are dry, i pick them like crazy, so a very visible chapstick by the door helps me use it more
2.3 Bracelets
in addition to lip picking, i pick the skin on my arms like nobodys business. so far, wearing bracelets to fiddle with is the only thing thats helped, especially interesting textured and/or heavy ones like this that remind me im wearing it from sensation alone (it used to be silver, ive used it A Lot lmao). i also use those kandy bracelets i got from concerts, and some plastic bead ones i hang from the wall by my door (not pictured)
3. Door Curtains
idk what ailment this is accommodating, but it has definitely made me very happy. originally they were put up to damped sound from the tv in the living room, but i also have been really enjoying the privacy feeling they give, like an extra protection beyond the door. it also blocks light which is great at night when im up and nobody else is and im trying not to trip or interrupt anyones sleep. its two curtains gathered in one small door so it stays closed unless you pull it aside, and opens in the middle very conveniently.
4. body scrubby stays in my room
this is like a staple in dorms i think but i apply it everywhere now. i have a weird contamination thing with showers, anything that stays in the shower (and through other people using the shower) feels icky, so ive started keeping the scrubby thing i use to wash my body in my room instead, washing/rinsing it with handsoap in the sink after a shower so my brain has no qualms with it. this makes showering and actually using the scrubby much easier for me, because it feels more like i can get actually clean in the shower instead of just like wet lmao. careful with this is you have full on contamination ocd tho, idk if this could feed into obsessions or not.
5. recounting my days
i know this looks like journaling, because it is, BUT HEAR ME OUT DON'T SKIP THIS
i journal. really badly. awful handwriting, runon or incomplete sentences. BUT it helps. specifically, i write a summary of my day, include a shitty list of what i ate (because i struggle with it), and occasionally self reflection if im feeling swanky. i use the tiniest journal and jot some bullshit down before bed. i bought my first journal (left) from goodwill for 50 cents because i knew i would struggle with being to precious with pages.
i really struggle to remember days ive lived, even only 2-3 days later, even big eventful or wonderful days. it helps me remember my days i experience, not by looking back but just by recalling how my day went every day and putting it into sentences, my brsin holds onto my own life better, especially the good things i experience. writing streamlines thoughts in a way just thinking can't, especially with adhd, and i often find at night i was forgetting positive things and great mornings just because i was tired at night, and then only remembering by bad night mood when reflecting on the past week.
its been so huge for me, my next journal i got something really cool because i knew id actually use it because i couldn't see it as a waste of paper anymore. i hate to say it but like man people recommend this shit for a reason, the positive effects have been very tangible for me.
6. Physical calendar
another basic, but here i mostly use it for basic basic hygiene shit like marking what days i showered and when i should shower next, plus maintenance chores. having it physical is a big one because i need to be reminded it exists to use it. its not on a wall intentionally, so i interact with it and again remember it exists. its also not a 2026 calendar, its from 2023, i just found a month that started on the same weekday this august did, marked out what was there, and wrote in my own august lmao.
and finally
7. The Thinking Whiteboard
a little handheld whiteboard that i think on. like the benefits of journaling, but for extremely temporary thinking where i just need to straighten my thoughts out but don't need shit saved. i also put reminders there sometimes in between thinking on it, such as these reminding me of basic things for the next few days, like how i totally should shower bc im working on getting better about that rn, or ideas for things to do that i enjoy because my brain is blurry soup that cannot recall shit! (that... sounds worse than it is i think lmao)
plus, honorary mention: Finch self care app, which has been huge for providing my adhd malleable structure that's both easy to follow and adapt to my needs, and is very good at positivity without punishment. checking off goals also puts me in a better headspace because it reminds me just how much positive i did today, and has turned around many a bad mood. not sponsored, i just likey it a lot 👍
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Genuinely the best study advice I’ve ever thought of is if you’re trying to write a plan to get school work/ job work/whatever important work done but you hate writing plans because people tell you it’s the best thing on planet earth even though it does work (and I really really hate to admit that writing plans out does work most times) is to just make the written plan as sarcastic as you could possibly want it. Write the title to be something like “dumbass plans for the day/week” “here’s your list of random shit you gotta do or else you’ll die” just make as sarcastic as you could it is possibly want it to be and you’ll probably feel better about writing out a plan. Does it erase the fact that you’re having to follow the advice people have been telling you even though you hate doing stuff like that? No, no it does not. But at the very least you get to control how it’s written out and how it sounds.
i have a tip for adhd memory issues (specifically working memory) that i use a lot that i learned from youtube. it's called "pointing and calling", where you point at and describe a thing in order to force your brain to process things. it's used to ensure that steps occupational safety checklists are properly crossed off instead of auto-piloted and immediately forgotten. i use pointing and calling as both for its aforementioned, intended use (helps me with, say, not forgetting my keys), and also to move my working memory into storage. for instance, if i have to remember where i put my keys, i will point and call, thus moving that information into stored memory so i can free up my one (1) working memory slot.
this doesn't, however, expand my slots: i can still only actively remember one thing at a time. so i sorta have to "juggle" my memory, which is also something i haven't figured out how to do very well at all. so anyone wishing to use this that also has one working memory slot should find and share a cool method at memory retrieval.
