So my best friend and I are both epileptic. Today in the city while shopping for table corner safety guards:
Friend: Hello, may I please ask for help? I need to buy these anti bump your head thingies for the tables. Where– [dramatically collapsed and starts seizing mid sentence]
Shop guy 1: oh my god, someone call an ambulance!
Shop guy 2: Is she dying?
Shop lady 1: someone get a chair! She needs a chair!
Me: No Ambulance!
Shop guy 1: She needs an ambulance!
Shop guy 2: I'm calling an ambulance!
Me: NO AMBULANCE!!!
Shop guy 1: but she needs–
Me: NO. AMBULANCE!
Friend, still drooling on the ground: no 'mbulance
Shop lady: where is a chair?!
Friend: just leave me on the floor
Shop guy 1: the ambulance
Friend, chilling on the ground: if you call an ambulance I'll be stuck in the emergency room for five hours. I've got stuff to do
[Friend gets up]
Shop lady, near tears: We need a chair!!!
Friend: so the anti head bump thingies. I need them. As I have just demonstrated
Me: yeah, you've demonstrated that perfectly. Great timing.
[the shop people all looking traumatized and nodding along]
They didn't even have the anti head bump thingies for the table corners.











