It kills my soul each time I hc a character as aroallo or even just more interested in sex then romance and there's only alloace content that comes up with scraps of aroace. Brother. This is the opposite of what I wanted.
The fwb tag is filed to the brim with friends to lovers bs. NO. Can't those characters just fuck and be buddies?? Is this so hard to imagine??? Can't you just bang your friend without falling for them or be emotionally close without romance??? The platonic sex tag isn't much better.
Some people still view romance as more morally right than sex and couple/married sex as more morally right then hook ups. They seriously need to think harder before I go on a murder spree/hj. And the worst part is, I'm not even aroallo, just romance indifferent/repulsed and generally sex favorable/interested. I don't know how you all survive this.
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Notes: I am referring to grey- as the umbrella term. In addition this doesn't mean you have to identify as a grey- term like demi or -flux. This is just to help those who are struggling
Perhaps you're struggling because you do experience some level of attraction that feels "weaker" or different than what you'd expect with allos, or maybe you've noticed a potential pattern in which you experience attraction, but you're feeling doubts or confusion. It's completely normal to feel confused or anxious about this.
I won't tell you that labels don't matter so don't worry about it since that mindset doesn't work for everyone. I will say to take your time and allow yourself to breathe. There is no time limit in figuring things out and the beauty about being aspec is that you can easily just call yourself aspec, grey-, or unlabeled while you figure it out. You also never need to use any specific identities should you choose to use any labels. For example some people may be greysexual + aromantic, asexual +greyromtic, or grey for both and just call themselves aroace. Some people call themselves demi even if it's a bit more complicated than that.
"but how do I know if I experience attraction differently than someone who's allo?" It's a bit complicated but it boils down to asking yourself if it feels differently to you. Does it seem like your experiences don't really align with a lot of allos? Is your relationship with attraction complicated? Do you feel attraction but it's not a big deal to you, seems weak, or another circumstance that feels "different"? Then you're probably aspec.
As an allo-appearing aspec person, this is something I've struggled with, too. A lot of the reasons I identify as aspec is because of how my attraction usually forms and my own experiences compared to many allos. For example, while I do enjoy adult content, it's because of the mental fantasy aspects instead feeling attraction to the people shown. I don't feel comfortable with seeing sexual content without warning or consent..I don't relate to the desire to sleep with people I don't know well. I don't view platonic relationships in the typical way, in fact it's hard for me to form platonic attraction and then it's 0 or 100.
There's a lot of aspec identities out there, and aspec people CAN experience attraction strongly at times! -spike identities cover just that. You can feel attraction constantly to a specific person or specific people (like when you're demi).
And remember, it's okay to try a label and realize later that it's not quite right. You may think you're completely without attraction until suddenly you find a circumstance in which you do. You could be in such a long relationship that when it ends, that's when you realize you don't always experience attraction to people who are typically your "type", so on and so forth.
Aspecs can enjoy the form of intimacy associated to an attraction, aspecs can have attraction but not enjoy those things or only enjoy them sometimes. One piece of advice I have is to not focus too much on how much you do or do not like those things when you're in the early days of figuring this out. There are identities related to this, but in my opinion it's a bit less complicated when you focus on the attraction aspect first, and then your relationship with those acts later.
Your arominor thing already exists and it's called GREYARO
[ English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are any misunderstandings]
Greyromantic has different meanings. These include: low romantic attraction; infrequently experiencing romantic attraction; experiencing romantic attraction but not wanting a romantic relationship; feeling unsure of how to define romantic attraction; feeling attraction only under certain circumstances; and so on.
While Arominor (link) is not about weak attraction, but about the fact that a person is indifferent to his attraction and / or to the romantic concept. Also, Arominor can be used by those who are completely aromantic, because Arominor can also mean weak interest in the romantic concept.
I can only say that Arominor will most likely be under the Greyromantic umbrella. But that doesn't mean that Arominor is the same as Greyromantic.
There are also other Aro-spectrum orientations that fall under the Greyromantic umbrella.
For example: Caligoromantic; Orchidromantic; aliquaromantic; ect.
