#aplsec

NIGHTSHADE APL

[pt: nightshade apl. /end pt]

— a nightshade themed aplatonic flag! attack for @empathydrowned, 7 points (base +5, non-gender +2)

Notes: I am referring to grey- as the umbrella term. In addition this doesn't mean you have to identify as a grey- term like demi or -flux. This is just to help those who are struggling

Perhaps you're struggling because you do experience some level of attraction that feels "weaker" or different than what you'd expect with allos, or maybe you've noticed a potential pattern in which you experience attraction, but you're feeling doubts or confusion. It's completely normal to feel confused or anxious about this.

This means we can want to do things or do things without there being an attraction behind it!

For sex, sexual attraction can be separated from libido. Our bodies can still naturally feel arousal or the body itself can desire sexual attention in some form. Be it solo or with a person. Not every ace-spec person has a libido but some do! Some do and ignore it! Some do and do solo pleasuring, some do and have sex! Be it with a romantic/Qplatonic partner, or with a friend!

This is why we have subterms for feelings about sex involving us. Sex favorable, sex indifferent, sex averse, and sex repulsed! Those are all varying feelings an ace-spec person can have towards sex, and some people change between some or all of those on a given day or occasionally.

For romantic coded things, arospec people can desire romantic coded activities and attention without romantic attraction. Sort of like how some people are comfortable kissing, cuddling, and holding hands with friends without being romantically attracted to them, the same can apply to arospec people. Think of it as similar to sexual libido in that it can vary. Arospec people can desire to hold hands, kiss, cuddle, etc. With friends, Qplatonic partners, or even have romantic partners! There are many aros who have romantic partners that are fully aware they're not romantically attracted to them..one reason this is possible is due to other forms of Teritary attraction like alterous attraction, which can either breach the bounds between romantic and platonic attraction, be any combination of attraction types, or be its own stand alone attraction. There is romance favorable, indifferent, averse, and repulsed just like sex for acespecs.

Aplatonic people can have friends! They just don't have the same platonic feelings for people as alloplatonic people! They can care about people on an intimate level, perhaps feel familial bonds with some friends, etc. They may not feel as strongly for people, but still care about them and desire to hang out/spend time with them for any number of reasons. (Loneliness, liking them for social, familial, etc reasons), or they could very well be extroverts and just enjoy the presence of people in general!

This is all to say that attraction doesn't equal action. It can be confusing to understand, I know this, but the truth is, there is a big difference between an attraction and an action. Someone could have a favorite food but still be fine eating other foods. They may eat when they're not hungry because they enjoy the textures, flavors, or sensations that comes with the foods, or they could simply not enjoy a particular food but eat it anyways because they are hungry. They may not be hungry but WANT to eat anyways.