[ID: an image of a quilt portraying a dandelion growing through rocks. The quilting pattern has been done in concentric circles, mimicking raindrops on a puddle or lake. End ID]

reading a book with a medieval setting and i was v excited for it BUT these characters have such modern hangups about touch and personal space that i keep forgetting it's meant to be the fourteenth century. lads. get in bed together, it's cold.

there are also several sheep and a cow in the same room for heating purposes. can't forget those

the power of christ isn't even that compelling if i'm being honest

trying to have sex with my point-n-click wife but she keeps saying "hmm...i don't think those two things go together"

bro my dad “went to dinner” at my favorite mexican restaraunt and said he’d bring me home a burrito and it’s fucking 9pm

my dad is having an affair

dad brought me the promised burrito just now so here’s my obligatory post exonerating him from infedelity

that burrito was fantastic. i’m inclined to think my dad has never had sex in his life

Don’t touch my overnight oats boy

elizabeth swann and will turner were 21-22 when they got married and then cursed. they should've been at the club.

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

cop shows are like "dammit! we would have caught babyeater mike by now if people didn't have rights,"