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scratch-meowt

my hottest take

keeper-of-the-flames

Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.

pusheenthenerdcat

guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare

maimonideznuts

pusheenthenerdcat

yeah the guy who invented them made incredibly precise infusion pumps (as opposed to gravity fed ivs) which not only meant they could give medications to teeny tiny babies safely, it's also used for insulin pumps and portable dialysis machines. the key element is that it's a peristaltic pump so the liquid stays in sterile tubing for safety

(unholy drink cloaca uses it to dispense precise amounts of flavored sugar syrup)

hedgebotherer

Then how the haters loved him,

As they shouted out with glee,

"Unholy Drink Cloaca

You'll go down in history!"

naamahdarling

You DON'T get this on any other site in quite this format.

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sashaforthewin

#one of my favorite stories of my dad's is him and his friend wearing out the steppenwolf magic carpet ride on the jutebox #a story that resembles the john mulhaney salt and pepper diner bit but he did tell it without having seen it #and you know what ill believe in convergent evolution

breadloco

stopppp everyone absolutely needs to see this

jewperduper

So my dad was the assistant music editor on Tarzan, and idk if it was Bring Your Kid to Work Day or something but one day he did just that so there I was, this incredibly small 1st grader, in an absolutely cavernous recording studio with a full orchestra and a giant screen playing the scene they were taping the score for, and my little brain couldn't handle the big music and the big movie happening all at once so I started crying and it was the first time music ever brought me to tears and it was too much to take in so we stepped out of the studio and ran directly into Phil Collins, who looked to me very much like my dad, and in my delicate emotional state I became immediately convinced that my dad had been copied and nobody had told me so I started crying harder, and Phil Collins said something that was probably meant to be calming but it was with a British accent so I thought there was a copy of my dad in every country and I absolutely lost it at the notion that other kids would get to have my dad, and my dad ended up having to carry me back to the car.

So.

Sorry for crying very loudly at you Phil Collins, your work on Tarzan was so moving it triggered my first emotional breakdown.

ihatenearlyeverything

the only thing that could top that clip is that story

memewhore

taken-aurally

catchymemes

teaboot

"she thinks this is bonding behavior" my friend this has BECOME your bonding behaviour

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waestlandbaby

When you accidentally say the q word (quest) and your knight starts gently clanking from their happy wiggles like now you've done it, you have to send them into the dragon's lair or their helmet ploom will droop and they'll start waxing sad poetic in the moonlight

phaeton-flier

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

phaeton-flier

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

theaudientvoid

centrally-unplanned

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

theabigailthorn

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

diehellasrache

I think I'm going to remember this phrase every time I cook for the next five years

pansy2025

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

mezzodical

shittysawtraps

>get kidnapped by jigsaw

>ask if saw trap is a weirdly specific grudge or collateral damage

>billy the puppet laughs

>”it’s a good trap, victim”

>get in the trap

>it’s a weirdly specific grudge

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wastemaiden

girls were out today

werewolfetone

History degree day 1: the past is so compelling to me. I just love learning about how our ancestors lived. and it’s so interesting how many of them had a fundamentally alien yet perhaps ultimately relatable in context mindset to our own. maybe one day I can begin to understand it?

History degree day 1000: forty martyrs of england and wales ranked by how good they would’ve been at posting on twitter

#im getting my phd rn and some recent highlights:#having a discussion of how exactly men were likely castrated in the middle ages with two scholars i respect immensely #getting to say in summary castration is fun to a room of academics. priceless.

tazetta

if you've ever gone on a romantic "date" at olive garden just block me rn i literally can't deal with you proshippers -_-

littlebigplanet

what

tazetta

when you're there you're family

glitterlessgold

YOU. 🫵

YOU TWO. YOU TWO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH THE ENDING OF THIS CHAPTER. I AM GOING TO CRAWL INTO YOUR WALLS. I AM GOING TO RATTLE IN YOUR CELLING. I AM GOING TO SCRATCH ALL OF YOUR FURNITURE AND MAKE SURE YOUR PILLOWS ARE WARM FROM BOTH SIDES.

I legitimately screamed out loud this chapter multiple times. And the ending? Eru. Eru on a stilletto. You want to kill me.

I don't know how or when or what but I am doing something about this (like art). aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Me???

I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about. @whenstarsignite and I are just silly little guys. We are INNOCENT of all crimes ever committed and certainly NEVER do anything evil like tormenting our beloved readers or characters with something crazy like a terrifying near-marriage experience at the deeply symbolic but also hilariously named Gate of Wood.

…and we would certainly never do it twice in one chapter.

Thank you so much for this comment and for the image of Eru in stilettos! I am investing in ice packs to keep my pillow cool.

fiammagalathon

glitterlessgold

You can be in my walls as long as you make sure there are No Bats In There.

#at least we know the squirrels in your squothel enjoy your fic #cant get them out but like they do have taste

oneheadtoanother

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gatheringbones

sturdy rural women. round-cheeked women with country accents. fat, muscular women operating farming equipment.

gatheringbones

chubby women wearing conical straw hats leading water buffalo. burly women in rustic garb with muddy feet. potbellied backwoods women with pieces of straw sticking out the sides of their mouths in a rakish fashion.

#my scholarship?

bludraws094

i love fake plot holes

little inconsistencies that at first you assume "oh, the author must have fucked up", but then later on you realize that no, it was on purpose, they wanted you to think they fucked up but they hadnt

masterboa

related: when you think "this has Implications the author didn't think about" and then it turns out the author was thinking about them the whole time

#home and remnants #esp remnants which had a subplot designed for me

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