A.K.A. Syph The Goblin
Amateur "Artist", Professional Procrastinator. More info below
***
25 yrs old
Call me Syph
Trans woman, She/Her please
I picked the wrong fuckin’ time to join this siteMy Newgrounds Profile! My Twitter!
Hi! I'm Syph. I'm just a weird creature doing my best to have fun and make things on the internet!
I draw, I write, I code things, and I sometimes just say shit.
I'm a trans woman, she/her please.
My sona is most times a goblin, but I'm one of those shapeshifter-sona type folks so can and will change sonas on a whim.
I love horror stuff, but you'll definitely see a bunch of scifi and fantasy too! I loooove dragons after all hehe.
I play a lot of videogames! Some faves being: terraria, hollow knight, hunt showdown, crosscode, valheim, nuclear throne, receiver 2, warframe, and morrrre!
I don't bite (much), so mutuals feel free to hit me up to chat about whatever whenever! Ask me about whatever game I'm currently playing, music I'm fixated on, etc etc and I'll do my best to respond if I'm not too busy!
If you're 18+ my nsfw blog is @Syphisexus ! Haven't put art on there yet but One Dayyy...
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I just learned yesterday that Pikachu, my favorite Pokemon, was originally designed not by Ken Sugimori (he only finalized the design), but by a female graphic designer named Atsuko Nishida.Â
Also after googling her, I found out that she’s also designed Sylveon–another favorite PKMN of mine. She’s also illustrated some very pretty Pokemon cards!!
Thank you Ms. Nishida! :-) May you get more credit and love for your contribution to the Pokemon franchise.
Here’s some other Pokemon she’s designed, for anyone curious:
source: x
and not to derail this post into anything overtly political, but: If it weren’t for a woman in the gaming industry, we wouldn’t have freakin’ Charizard. I feel like that’s something more people should know about!
Princess girls and Puppygirls are both different manifestations of wanting to be loved in a way you haven't felt without having to kill yourself to earn it.
"Villainess" princess girls on the other hand can't accept they actually deserve that love or admit that they need is so they dress it up as something they are taking from you.
Cat girls want to be loved but don't want to be overwhelmed
Knight girls and maid girls are convinced they have to earn the love they're missing by becoming essential to someone else.
Being raised with the expectation that we would perform masculinity left us all with a hole in our hearts that nobody taught us to patch and we're doing the best we can.
Trans women are into forcefem because transitioning is scary and what we call having it forced upon us is really another girl taking us by the hand and guiding us through the storm. We're afraid and exposed and fantasize about trading our agency for a different kind of freedom, and making it a little freaky is inevitable.
I'm frankly not horny enough to untangle all the kink dynamics in mechsploitation but it feels like the perfect storm of all the most extreme kinks in our community mixed with the trend among trans women to be dorks into battletech and/or gunpla. You're not a person who needs to be anxious about your life, you're a hound that does what handler tells you to do. And good hounds take their estrogen without complaining. Now go kill some other pilots.
This post is not here to reinforce your insecurities.
You are deserving of love. You don't have to be useful. Becoming someone's vassal is not a prerequisite for kindness. Just by being here you have earned unconditional love.
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unconvinced i'll ever find "the vitamin" that makes me all better so i can get real work done but i do expect they'll elucidate whatever my deal was post-mortem, after which what i did manage to accomplish with my life will be regarded on the level of Beethoven composing despite being deaf or Gordon Ramsay cooking despite being british
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If the trash pickup people stop doing their job for two weeks you'd be throwing a fucking tantrum. Same for the janitors who keep your office spaces and bathrooms clean. (And that's before the various illnesses start to spread all over your city from the build up of pathogens.)
The people responsible keeping our spaces clean (and thus, mostly disease-free) should both be paid more AND thanked more.
I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.
so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.
So for strokes the signs are abbreviated BE FAST. Balance loss, Eyesight changes, Face drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulty, -> Time to call 911.
Had I known those MAYBE I would have figured it out but my symptoms were a little mixed. I was reading (fanfic!) in bed because it was a sunday morning and i had nothing pressing to do and suddenly got dizzy. I put my laptop aside because my eyes were blurring (Eyesight changes - symptom #1), and laid down, thinking it would pass, it didn't, it's a little vague how it progressed because I'd been having headaches and neckpain for about 3 weeks leading up to it so I was like 'idk is this a migraine?' (headaches can be a stroke symptom so symptom #2) but i got nauseous and eventually got up and to my utmost surprise I immediately fell over as if I was the drunkest of frat bros. The room literally spun before my eyes as I fell to the floor (Balance loss - symptom #3). I have had some Nights and I had never been that unsteady before. I crawled my way to the bathroom, threw up (nausea - not a common stroke symptom) , took 800mg of ibuprofen, and crawled back to bed.
if you know anything about ibuprofen you might know it's a mild blood thinner and that's a high dose. I may have inadvertently helped myself with that one. I was just feeling like shit and thinking 'idk this might help'
At this point I still thought we were still in Normal Land. Sure, it was a weird morning, but Surely There Was A Reason. (Yes There Was) Anyway, as I'm lying there willing my body to stop suffering I realize my arm is going numb (stroke symptom #4) and I switch positions, because weird, but it doesn't go away, and I gave it a good little while. I'm on a medication that can make my limbs tingle but it usually just does it to my fingers and it dissipates quickly but this wasn't dissipating, and then I realized one of my legs was also going numb. Then one side of my face is going numb.
(at the time I did not look in the mirror but I had a drooping eyelid - symptom #5)
Those all seem bad. I grab my computer and google 'when to go to the hospital for dizzyness' as that felt like the worst of my problems. and indeed the list I found highlighted that if you are also experiencing loss of balance, blurred vision, nausea, and limb numbness, you should see a doctor. That seems like far too many symptoms to be having all to be listed. I grab my phone (thankfully plugged in and by my bed), and start layering on more clothing because it's about 10 degrees out and i'm in a pajama dress. The very nice man at 911 talks with me and sends an ambulance, I tell him I don't think I can get out the front door of my building on my own and he asks if I can get to MY apartment door to which I say yes and he assures me that's fine they will have keys to my building.
(I have been since informed they love to chop down doors but no, I could get that far)
I wait by my door laying down on the ground and they arrive pretty quickly. They see to me in the hallway, which is more of a lobby in my building and the only place with room for me to lie down (I cannot stand unassisted at this point) they ask me a bunch of questions, take vitals, and ask me where I would like to be taken. Me, having never had to go to the fucking hospital in an emergency before, simply go 'wherever is close' because I again, I am having a stroke and do not have the wherewithal to think through these things.
A big firefighter helps me down the stairs (it's only a half flight and I still almost did not make it) and we get underway.
At the hospital they wheel me into triage and I mostly lie there gratefully and answer some questions and respond to some tests (grip strength, following a pen with my eyes, that sort of thing) and then I hear what is great when you've been at urgent care for two hours but what is Very Bad when you just arrived in an ambulance and that's 'She's next'. I jumped the line for a CT scan and an MRI. I was there less than ten minutes before I was actively being scanned. honestly closer to five.
my active symptoms seem to have been worse than some of the stories I've heard, not being able to walk AT ALL in particular, although some other are pretty equal (Footless Jo on youtube had a stroke around the same time I did of the same type and has discussed hers, she delayed going in despite the severity for a variety of reasons and it sounds like her recovery has been difficult) My recovery was pretty easy because i was actively being cared for and on blood thinners right away. I was pretty out of it in the beginning, but I was only in the hospital for 6 days and then in a rehab for another 4 to relearn how to walk and balance, then i was released unto the world and just spent time going to physical therapy and recovering for awhile. I was out of work for about 8 weeks total. I basically had the best outcome for a stroke. I recovered almost fully back to 100% (I'm about 2% less sure footed than I used to be, but it's rarely noticeable), my face still feels a little weird but has markedly improved so I live in hope it will eventually get back to normal. It massively sucked. But strokes can fuck you up for life and I came out a weird medical story to tell and have to take some extra medication now/precautions to take (i cannot do certain types of yoga, no weightlifting, no push ups, no going on rollercoasters.... things that could strain my neck essentially) but overall I escaped very lucky.
For anyone who has ever had covid before, please be sure you are aware of stroke symptoms. Each successive infection raises the risk in a pretty major way, and a lot of people are dying young due to not knowing these signs or being afraid to act on them. Please take care of yourselves.
Is it acceptable that I do shave my legs only because it’s easier to put lotion on my legs when they aren’t too hairy and I do like the feeling of smooth skin when I finish up with it.
I also only really do it once or twice a month so sometimes I do go out in public with hairy legs.
come on man i'm on my lunch break can't you wait???
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video game with a flaccid -> boner meter in the ui but the whole game it never changes at all and nothing makes the boner meter go up so youre jusg aware of the protags flaccid penis the whole time for no good reason
to be clear in my thinking this would only work in a completely nonsexual game, of course it Could have a function in some sort of porn game depending on the sorta porn youre going for but thats not really my idea here. this concept only works to me if its completely useless and unrelated & the protag isnt even sexualized even a little bit, otherwise i think it loses its charm. you just have to know about their penis and you have to wonder why the entire game and you have to try and figure that out until you realize theres no reason and youre just aware of their penis because the dev is probably fucked in the head or something like that. and then by that point youve reached the highest level of connection possible with a game developer aside from maybe ambushing them from behind and drinking all their blood until they die. and thats how we fix the gaming industry
During the holocaust some estimates say that over 50% of the entire European population of Roma people were murdered.
They were also forced to be identified in camps with the brown upside down triangle
They were considered racially impure, much like the Jews. In many nations they were hunted by their fellow countrymen, who had an existing bias against them that was fuelled by war propaganda. The Einsatzgruppen (basically a moving, mobile killing squad) had Roma as a target. And, yes, there was a "Gypsy Question".
Their population was absolutely decimated. But worse.
August 2 is a date that some acknowledge this genocide. Some other dates....some not any dates at all. This date was chosen because of the huge killings on that night of those in the Zigeunerfamilienlager. Roma families were kept together in a camp in Auschwitz.
The Nazis decided to "clear" most of the camp that night, killing many children and elderly on purpose. There was a lot of fighting, they fought back with improvised weapons. Let no one ever say that they walked wearily to their deaths. They fought for themselves and their families with every ounce of strength they had.
Thousands were killed in gas chambers that night, the women, children, elderly and infirm. The rest were sent to work camps.
Germany only officially acknowledged this aspect of the holocaust in the early 80s. In the Former Czechoslovakia and Czech Republic Roma women were forced into sterilisation through a number of means, in the 70s, the 90s and into the 00's, with some reports that this is still ongoing.
The Roma are not a footnote in history. Their suffering was immeasurable, like so many others. In ways that some places will still not acknowledge or account for.
May the memories of those gone be a blessing, and the future of those that remain be a brighter and more hopeful one.
It's even worse, in some ways because even "official" memorials of the Holocaust often argue against our own traditions of remembrance.
On the 16th of May in 1944, the guards attempted to "liquidate" the Roma Family Camp at Auschwitz-Birkenau, ie to murder everyone held prisoner there. And, we fought back, with planks and hammers and bare hands, until the guards gave up and left. Although the majority of the camp were murdered within months of this event, that act of resistance in such a hopeless situation has become a pillar of remembrance and pride.
And, even "official" memorials of the Holocaust argue about it, they hedge and priss and cite the Nazis' own records for "why it can't have happened like that", even though we have stories passed down from survivors and from other prisoners who witnessed it. The suspicion of Gypsies is so bad, we are so much mistrusted as narrators of our own history, that people would rather take the word of the literal Nazi party, over our word.