cowboy butts drive me nuts

the two headed calf smoking twice as many marlboro red core packs as usual

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

i could not eat a dozen fried eggs and would never want to do so. but i almost certainly could accidentally eat a dozen deviled eggs if i was at a party or perhaps a picnic and they were there. they are a highly dangerous food item in this way

The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he doesn't exist. His second greatest trick was that egg thing hoo boy those are good

actually im doing really well except for the fact that everything makes me sad and the things that dont make me sad make me angry. but other than that im fine

Idk man my nervous system gets regulated from walking really really fast and elbowing groups of people taking up the whole sidewalk. like that’s what makes me feel at peace

I am so sorry you had a traumatic childhood and it made you stupid on line. I was raised as a lotus flower and I smell like vanilla all the time

your cat was an honor to see in the window

the beach that. makes you dead

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”