what's so great about the mummy 1999?
it is the most wonderfully made, historically inaccurate, giddily fun, perfectly paced, goofy horror movie romance novel bullshit bonanza that has ever blessed the silver screen.
i mean it is just so beautifully full of every genre without being overwhelming.weâve got: comedy, action, suspense, horror, romance, adventure, ancient aesthetics, and itâs a period piece. all perfectly balanced and blended into one movie.
and the characters are so LIT
we got our main babe, evelyn âmotherfuckingâ carnahan, a super-klutz librarian, total history nerd, and certified badass/damsel in distress. she raises the dead on accident, because she cannot resist books, and has the guts to put that motherfucker back where he came from and literally saves the world.evieâs greatest hits:Â
âwhat is a place like me, doing in a girl like this?!â
*after totally destroying the library*Â âiâve just made a bit of a mess in the library.â
âno harm ever came from reading a book.â
evelyn:Â *upon opening the tomb* âiâve dreamt about this since i was a little girl.ârick: âyou dream about dead guys?â
then weâve got rick âbrendan fraserâ oâconnell, your not-so-typical battle hardened gun slinger with a heart of gold. he seems filthy, rude, and a complete scoundrel at first, but then he turns into a literal puppy, with massive heart eyes, that worships the ground evie walks on.rickâs greatest hits:
*screams at things that are illogical to scream at*
next is our Comedic Relief Characterâ˘, jonathan carnahan, who also rises above his trope. heâs there for the laugh sure, but is never useless. he actively helps to move the plot along and isnât just there. he also is the farthest thing from brainless and annoying.jonathanâs greatest hits:
evelyn: âhave you no respect for the dead?âjonathan: âof course i do, but sometimes iâd rather like to join them.â same.
oh and that time he was like âIMHOTEPâ and saved his own ass like that was so smooth, yâall know what iâm talking about right??
then there is ardeth BAE. he is the audience rolling his eyes because *sighs* white people. heâs tired of these motherfucking mummies in this motherfucking desert. literally prettier than everyone.(he has a much bigger role in the mummy returns, but is still so fab here)
and of course THE MUMMY. imhotep. actual emo. literally carved some poetry into the back of his sarcophagus when he was buried alive with flesh eating bugs, because he is that Extraâ˘. just wants to bring his girlfriend back to life so he can make out with her without it being treason.Â
and all the side characters are also gr8.
now i wanna take a moment to talk about the romance. because it is so BEAUTIFUL. like usually in action movies itâs macho man undermines girl and they bone. not here. no time for that shit.Â
rick and evie have such a great relationship based on mutual respect and affection. they both cater to each otherâs strengths and cover each otherâs weaknesses. they are the literally definition of:Â âthose two. in a fight, theyâre lethal. around each other, they meltâ
what else, i could literally talk about this movie all day.
the special effects have held up pretty well.the music score is GORGEOUS.the costumes are amazing.the makeup, especially for anck su namun, OH WOW.the george of the jungle era brendan fraser sign me the fuck up.rachel weisz.
#i secretly rate every action movie from 0 to the mummy
itâs a beautiful mess of a movie that can be enjoyed by people of all ages and transcends time and posterity as the alpha mummy movie, and to those who disagree i beseech you:
andulkaphoto
theartofmadeline
prguitarman
baratheonpilled
ellievsbear
areudirty
