Rhaegar and Lyanna Did Not Challenge the System or rebell against it as their fans claim.
This fan projection, “Rhaegar and Lyanna were victims of the patriarchal system. They just wanted love and freedom. If they had lived, they would have changed everything.” is built on romanticism, aesthetics, and modern values retrofitted onto two highborn characters who never actually rebelled against the structure they just benefited from it and escaped its responsibility then thought they could go back once things settle to enjoy its privilages.
And this is not to say Lyanna should have not escaped Robert. But the way she did it and with whom. It's about accountability.
Also, standing against injust and bullying (TKOTLT) doesn't equal or indicate she wanted to challenge patriarchy.
Rhaegar told Jaime he plans to make changes and doesn't equal giving women rights as men or chllanging a system that gives his authority and comfort. In fact, he had a firstborn daughter, but he named his son his heir. He wasn't a pro women's rights. And don't you blame Aerys being alive for it. Rhaegar clearly wanted his son as his heir as we were told in Dany's vision and being tpwwp doesn't mean you have to be king.
Do you think Rhaegar seriously would have spoken up to his nobles against arranged marriages and he wouldn't have arranged ones for his children? Like it or not they needed arranged marriages. And after the mess he pulled? Definitely.
Vague promises after starting a war ≠ desire to reform system and especially for women.
Rhaegar and Lyanna may have had personal senses of right and wrong and thought women were important too, but they were never willing to sacrifice their own privilege to bring structural change. In fact, when they wanted something, freedom, love, prophecy they used the same system they supposedly hated and still kept its privillages.
Justice in some context ≠ desire to change the system.
Good Deeds ≠ Systemic Rebellion
And it's not judge them for not being these modernized feminist people but:
-Their hypocrisy and the huge mess and hurt they caused along with the accountability that they dropped on other are absolutely fair to judge.
People try to excuse them as “just in love” or “didn’t mean harm.” “They were victims of patriarchy.”
They stopped being victims when they hurt others for their own benefits and still wanted its privilages. And again a man in political marriage is nothing compared to the woman.
And the outcome was not small collateral. It was:
The death of two innocent children. The murder of Elia, a woman abandoned without real protection. The civil war killed thousands and destabilized the entire realm.
They didn’t just “fall in love” they disappeared and expected to go back one day and still have the privilages of system they supposedly fough against and let everyone else carry their mess.
Duncan Targaryen gave up his claim. Jeneye had no known influence in court. And yet Rhaelle still paid the price. But what did they give up for their perfect love? Nothing. They still wanted it all.
Lyanna's fans say she didn't desire to be queen. I agree. Yet they still want her to become queen along with Elia or by making Rhaegar "generously and very feminist-like send Elia back to her happiness in Dorne after using her to the end of the limits she could" or there are those who say she would be mistress and still have influence and freedom to ride horse and wave sword at enemies. They think even the queen version would have this freedom. And of course Jon has to be legetimized. And if he isn't he has very good influence like his mother.
On what grounds does Elia have to give up her position or share it with Lyanna? Elevating Lyanna for them always requires Elia to give up everything for her or share it. That is disgusting and misogynistic from them and from Rhaegar and Lyanna.
Like even if Elia was so fine with them (as if), why would she share this with Lyanna?
Your favorite couple isn't so just now, are they?
“They couldn’t have predicted the war.” “They were just in love.” “They were victims of their time.”
No they knew even if not detailed:
Rebellion had already happened in Westeros over a broken betrothal.
Aerys was a paranoid tyrant who burned people alive and already believed Rhaegar wanted to replace him running off with Lyanna looked like sedition.
Lyanna was engaged to Robert Baratheon, a man who would absolutely take offense.
The Starks wouldn't just sit still because Aerys is mad. If anything it looked like Rhaegar was using his father's madness against them. You are doomed if you try to look for your "kidnapped" girl. Brandon was a fool but his reaction was expected.
They didn’t just act recklessly. They acted like the rules wouldn’t apply to them. They gave up nothing and wanted everything.
Rhaegar and Lyanna were not rebels. They were privileged youths who believed their story mattered more than the realm.
They didn’t dismantle the system. They simply tried to bend it for themselves. They wanted the benefits of patriarchy and monarchy without the consequences of duty, alliance, and loyalty. And when the consequences came anyway, they left others to bleed for their dreams.
Their fans still excuse them by saying “they meant well.” But intentions don’t erase corpses. They were not punished by the system. They weaponized it and got caught in the blast.
Even though I don’t believe age excuses someone from accountability, I do think Lyanna’s youth played a role in her failure to critically examine the system or her own hypocrisy within it. But age doesn’t explain away the pain and humiliation she helped inflict on Elia. Rhaegar bears the brunt of the blame, but Lyanna was old enough to know better. And by Ned’s own memories, we were told she was aware enough to understand the weight of what she inflicting upon Elia.
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