This is a masterlist with all of my works. Current or complete series are above the cut, and all my writing can additionally be found under the tag #blue writes. TWs are included in masterlists for generalized series tws, and at the top of a post for individual chapter tws.
Collector's Bounty: Jackson Hawthorne is the eldest son of a millionaire, and due to this, heâs the perfect target for Aris to kidnapâ after a hit job gone wrong, he needs enough cash to clean up the mess. But when Jacksonâs family refuses to pay the ransom, Aris decides on an even more lucrative idea: harvesting Jacksonâs spare organs. And while he intended on returning his captive after reaping his profits, Aris changes his mind after discovering a secret that reveals an opportunity too great to pass up.
Low Profile: Hale Ellison, the disgraced son of a wealthy politician, finds himself in the hands of a mafia mercenary known as Viper. Tasked with gleaning information regarding one of Haleâs fatherâs associates, Viper seizes the opportunity to torment his new target. As Hale's captivity goes on, memories of his former life begin to resurface, unlocking more questions than answers with each passing moment.
Rock Bottom, A Moneymakers AU: A fanfiction of the Moneymakers series by @coldresolve. Renee Vaughn has hit rock bottom. Heâs out of money, out of drugs, and out of luck. And with the law close behind him for what he did to Conrad DeWitt, he only has one option left: sell himself as a willing victim to another red room.
Unhinged Torture: A collection of standalone unhinged torture drabbles! These are more gorey and intense than my other writing so heed the content warnings.
Crowbar
No Escape
BTHB: Impaled Palm
Alec and Raina (Complete): Alec, an artist and a masochist, is snatched off the streets by Raina, a possessive captor who will do almost anything to force Alec into becoming what she wants. But how long can Alec keep his complicated feelings around pain hidden from someone who wants nothing more to exploit them?
Series on Hiatus, Standalone Drabbles, and Trope Talks are under the cut
Series On Hiatus:
Betrayed: A hero, Dante, is betrayed by their team and left to the mercy of a villain, Ridley, who decides the hero could be useful. Inspired by a prompt from @some-messed-up-writing-for-you.
Left Behind: Zhen Veraldi is abandoned by their allies on the battlefield and captured by the enemy, damned to whatever fate awaits them at their hands. They fall into the custody of Major Sierra Castro, who is much too willing to break them how she sees fit.
Merciless: Mateo is taken prisoner on an enemy ship after catching the attention of its captain. Pirate whump, intimate whump, enemies to lovers.
Betrayed: A hero, Dante, is betrayed by their team and left to the mercy of a villain, Ridley, who decides the hero could be useful. Inspired by a prompt from @some-messed-up-writing-for-you.
Standalones:
Yandere Whumper
BTHB: I'll Punish Your Friend for Your Failure
BTHB: Mind Control
BTHB: Forced to Hurt Someone (an Alec and Raina short)
BTHB: The Collector
A Whumpy Hero x Villain Request
Hero/Villain: Surrender
Surrender part 2
Hero x Villain: "Just be good for me"
Hero x Villain: "Bow Down in the Presence of Lethal"
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Analyzing the politics of a work that's meant to be apolitical is actually a really interesting exercise because it asks you to critically examine what the creator considers to be "political" in the first place. Which ideas are just How Things Are, and which ones are Political, and how is that influenced by the creator's beliefs?
Angrily lashing out at the suggestion that it's possible to do basic media analysis was foundational to the ragebait ecosystem of the 2010s, from which we got basically the entire culture of modern far right politics, btw.
I went outside and got an education, that's where I learned that you can obtain knowledge and insight through analytical methods, then noticed that some people who sit on the internet yelling at strangers get really mad about that constantly.
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if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.
People have real issues understanding why the absence of romance and sexual desire is such a big deal. "No one bothers you over your sexual orientation! You're basically a straight person!" No wrong. The older you get the more your life is considered a failure for failing to find a life partner and get your 2.5 kids in.
Like people make fun of middle aged women for not getting married or being divorced or "always the bridesmaid never the bride" and all like "oh she's desperate! No one wants her! Old maid!' but they become straight up hostile and upset when you tell them you never want to date.
Being unpartnered after your mid twenties is just like "oh what's wrong with you" and "don't worry you'll find your guy" "aren't you afraid of being alone" "who will take care of you" "you're running out of time to have kids" and no matter what you are or aren't people straight up don't understand that you don't want them.
People tend to forget that queer is a word that means weird, and if you step out of heteronormativity you're weird in the eyes of the heteonormative society, wether you want different relationships or no relationships at all.
The core wound of this demographic is being rejected and being relentlessly asked to stop your bullshit relative to romance and sex, and to get back in the ranks. The aroace definitely qualify.
And since being rejected is obviously a veeeeery common trauma in the queer community, and people tend to reenact unhealed patterns, it's not rare to see queer people rejecting other queer people with shit like biphobia, being picky with who "qualify" as trans, dismissing aroaces etc...
Let's put rejection somewhere on a dusty shelf for a while and see how it feels. I'm sure it's freeing.
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âFor New York City Pride in 1994 (Stonewall 25), Baker created a mile-long rainbow flag that was carried down First Avenue in Manhattan. During the parade, Baker used scissors to cut segments from the flag to be rushed to Fifth Avenue for an impromptu protest march in front of St. Patrickâs Cathedral, the headquarters of New York Cityâs anti-gay Catholic archdiocese.
^âAt the bottom of the image is the segment of the flag cut for the St. Patrickâs Cathedral protest. Photograph by Mick Hicksâ
âGilbert Baker wearing a white sequined dress (right) and other protestors triumphantly march the cut pieces of the mile-long flag past St. Patrickâs Cathedral. Photograph by Charles Bealâ
i will say if you have religious trauma (especially regarding being prayed over, even moreso physically grabbed and manhandled during it), tread carefully with this movie, I was a little taken aback by how much it took me back to my own experience with that....
major spoilers
Idk where to start. This was a really good movie. As someone who has grown up queer and religious, I could really relate to this film.
I felt terrible for Naim in general. His jealousy is what led to the divine healer or whatever he was to set the entity/demon on hunter and ryan, but he didn't know it was going to happen :( It wasn't his fault at all, it's normal to feel jealous and betrayed in that situation.
The scene where the "divine healer" was praying over Ryan and Hunter made me sooo sick.
The way all of the members of the church were okay with what happened...Yes, they were concerned when the boys started seizing, but not once did they try to stop any of it. Also, the implication that the family members KNEW what the divine healer did, KNEW it was irreversible (as implied by Naim's mom) and still allowed it? Not a single person spoke up.
Like the pastor having the audacity to cry when his son was murdered? And the sister having Ryan & Naim get jumped because she thought it was the "sexual deviancy" that killed her brother. It was that freak of a "priest"!
And Naim's mom! Girl. I wanted her to get her face punched so bad omg. Her knowing the entire time what was happening, and subjecting her own son to it all because of her beliefs (and had the NERVE to try and act like what she let happen to him was no big deal). Then her justification being "I was trying to protect you" đ
HOWWW.
Bigots would rather have dead kids than queer ones.
Don't even get me started on the fact that she only seemed to care about his loneliness when it was affecting her image at the church...she was such a shitty mom imo
For the demon itself, there is something so cruel about it taking the form of someone you love, the way it goes to seduce you and then tries to kill you. The paranoia of not knowing whether or not the person you love is Them, or It. The way it mimics them so perfectly too is crazy. The idea of your own desire being what kills you ughhhh
I was so irritated that Naim kept falling for it, but thinking about it more, I may have done the same đ
It was gutting how Ryan and Naim at points both thought it was better to stay apart than be together to avoid the pain, but in truth it just hurt them (almost killed them) instead. I was so happy they decided to stay together regardless of what happened.
The connection of "it never goes away" (the demon never goes away, it's irreversible) and "it never goes away" (homosexuality isn't a choice, you can't just turn it off). At least that is what I got out of it.
I did find the whole thing with the boys throwing stones at one another before making out interesting. Not sure if there was a reference to stoning there, and if it represented repressed desire and shame, or if that is a reach.
Anyway, I was so upset when no one would stay with Naim and were willing to leave him alone, thinking he was just crazy (the demon only appearing if no one else was around). I feel like there was a message there too but I'm not smart enough to word it lowkey. I would have stayed with the poor guy đ Him sleeping in his mom's room for comfort and her being so cold to him pissed me off. That's your CHILD. (and again, KNOWING what was happening btw).
Overall I feel like the movie captured the loneliness and isolation of being queer in a religious community. And maybe in relation to mental illness as well...
I wanted to know more about the divine healer and the demon itself (and if it is actually irreversible). Maybe we will never know how it came about....
That's all though.
I wish I was more articulate 𼲠There is soo much more I could say, and I feel like I could have worded what I did say better....
This was such a good movie, the thought of (STRAIGHT) people watching it solely because of "hot boys kissing" turns my stomach. đ it is so much more than that
I wrote down my thoughts as soon as I could after watching because I wanted to ramble about this movie very badly in here. These are some of them:
- The fact that this entity works so well because the teenagers canât even tell âtrusted adultsâ about it. Religion has a hold of this community, everyone knows everyone, youâre effectively trapped in a nightmare and you canât talk about it because then theyâll find out that who you desire most is another boy. Naim tells someone and the lady not only doesnât believe him, she immediately betrays his trust. He tries multiple times to get his momâs help but she refuses to listen and the twist being that Naimâs own mother knew all along and let it happen? I was flabbergasted. She kept saying how fear is something you need. Live your life in fear, who in this community hasnât heard that one before. It was absolutely revolting to watch. No adult actually cares, they seem to know about this practice and allow it. Even if they didnât know, as long as the âcureâ worked I donât think they would mind. Would the police even care? Itâs wild.
- It works like a chain of outing. One kid tells on someone and then another kid tells on someone else and it keeps going and going. When your church rewards you for exposing your peers, either because you were raised homophobic as hell or youâre trying very hard not to give yourself away, I can imagine how terrifyingly effective that ends up being. Izzie appears to be on their side only to lead them into being hate-crimed ffs đ
- Naim in NO WAY knew that a whole ass demonic entity would end up cursing them just because he snitched on Ryan and Hunter, please give that boy so much grace. Heâs like 17 or something? At most he thought they would make them stop seeing each other! Which is what his impulsive teenage self wanted because he felt hurt! Not even Hunter and Ryan were too worried when they brought them to the church for the ritual, thinking it was going to be some bullshit spectacle. Naim also clearly doesnât have experience with living in a place like this before and itâs so apparent. Small towns make you turn on each other by design, I wonât stand for anyone calling Naim a villain when the clear villains are right there! Like the Deliverance Healer and all the adults? I know there will inevitably be some people who dislike Naim for outing them, I understand it as your first emotional reaction, but that in no way should be what you come out of the movie with. Hopefully Iâm fighting ghosts and no one hates my boy đ
- Hunter talks about how the ritual actually worked for a couple of people, who ended up having kids and living the ânormalâ life. I was gagged again by how the concept of conversion therapy via demonic entity works so well. The entity makes you afraid of the person you desire most, it drives a wedge between you, tainting your love. Naim licks Ryanâs ear in one scene and as the audience your heart is fluttering, but then on the very next scene the entity bites Ryanâs ear in the exact same spot, leaving him bleeding and terrified, and your heart breaks for these two who canât have one good thing. The entity uses that growing affection to learn how to best manipulate you. It gets better at imitating touch the more you spend with the person, like the girl said. Eventually the only way to save yourself is to cut the other person off and that is so viscerally tragic.
- Ryan said âI want it to look like youâ and I knew this was a true horror-romance. They choose each other at the end, they choose loving and staying together in spite of everything. Itâs not like all their problems have been solved now, because sure they have lighters to defend themselves with and they may develop some countermeasures, but the entity remains. They will have to keep living with some modicum of fear for the rest of their lives and work through the feelings of hurt and betrayal between them. And yet! And yet they have each other. They have that sweet, sweet love that no one can take away from them anymore. Their entities will keep looking like them as yet another symbol of their affection. Those people didnât succeed in making them give up their love and that is so important to me.
- The entity actually stopped when Naim caressed it? Can I hear everyoneâs theory about this? Because itâs probably the thing Iâm most curious about. Can it⌠feel affection? Does it have a need for it? I donât even know man.
- The way Hunter and Ryan can only communicate through aggression is such a contrast to Naim and Ryanâs relationship. Their repression manifests as hurting each other, while Naim and Ryan are hesitant but they donât want to hurt each other. They want to explore and be soft and sometimes playfully rough, and itâs clear enough that their relationship is just instantly deeper and stronger. Iâm sorry Hunter đ Ryan was already seeing the entity as Naim, who Iâm sure he met fairly recently compared to you (I think they may have grown together?)
- The tragedy of Hunter is very obvious to me however. Being the pastorâs son in a church like that? Yeah I would also develop some psychosexual tendencies. They didnât need to show me his head ugh
- I love how they made a point of Naim being constantly scared. Heâs scared of the snake, heâs scared of heights, and heâs scared of letting Ryan give him a handjob, jolting as soon as he looks at his reflection while in the middle of the act. Fear is a central theme of the movie, âthey wanted us to be scaredâ. Naim has to overcome so much to reach that moment in which he is able to confront the entity head-on, and a big part of that journey is thanks to Ryan and how much Naim cares for him. Itâs what leds him to investigate the situation in the first place, to confess his involvement in the whole thing and to try to save Ryan. Heâs able to finally let go and offer himself to the pleasure at Ryanâs hands in that bus scene, growing a little with each experience. At last, he confronts the entity and we see him look completely at peace on that final scene, heading to who knows where with Ryanâs hand in his.
- Frank Ocean needle drop was perfection đŻ
- Sustained long shots are one of my favorite filmmaking techniques and thatâs basically 60% of this movie so I was delighted by the cinematography.
- Maybe Iâve gotten better at horror than I thought because I wasnât really scared, I was just sad and appalled all the time lol. I think part of it is that I had already spoiled myself on all entity Ryan appearances except for one (which did get me to jump a little).
- I need so many post-canon fics cuz Iâm pretty sure they wonât be making a sequel for this (fingers crossed though) and Iâd like to read Ryanaim live as happily ever after as they can after all that.
- The one scene the five people at my screening laughed at was Naim asking the cashier to stay with him while looking completely out of his mind, tbh I also chuckled and I think that was the intention anyway lol
- Ryan is such a fascinating character, I really thought for a second he might leave Naim to be beaten after that revelation, but he didnât. Everything is told from Naimâs perspective so Ryan remains a little mysterious throughout it. I wish this was adapted from a book so I could just go and read all his inner monologues.
- It couldâve done with a longer runtime and a bigger climax but I understand budgeting and itâs incredible this was made in the first place. I loved it all the same. Unlike some reviews Iâve seen, I donât think I needed the entity to be explained more than it was. A final appearance from the Deliverance Healer is what I felt missing but tbf that only makes it creepier, the idea that heâs still out there, just cursing more gay people oh god
- itâs not quite like It Follows, now that I think about it. In It Follows the entity has to walk the distance and it shows up regardless of if youâre alone or not.
- Joe Birdâs talent truly is shedding tears while still looking pretty af, Stacyâs talent is looking fantastic while covered in blood <3
- Naimâs name being from the actual Leviticus is such a neat detail that I need everyone to know.
Okay, at this point Iâm just rambling, I have so many more thoughts to write down but I seriously need to do a second viewing first! Please give me all your analysis and essays too, Iâm so excited now that everyone in the U.S will be able to watch it soon
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The thing thatâs always missing from the âwomen didnât fight for the right to work they were already working they fought to get paidâ is that many women also very much wanted to work.
Women wanted to be lawyers and engineers and chemists. They wanted to use their brains in challenging and interesting ways. They wanted to get the satisfaction from solving problems and inventing new shit and getting attention for it.
I know not everyone is born with intellectual curiosity or drive or determination but some people are and many of those people are women.
