I may Be Stupid

Sometimes I think that I’m moderately intelligent and then I realize how frequently I’m deceived by things meant to fool wild animals

being mildly nearsighted keeps me humble

happy Barely Keeping It Together Wednesday to all who celebrate

dogs are always putting their ass next to your ass while you sleep

welcome to body world (inhales shakily through my clenched teeth) a world where everyone has a body

(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

problem i have is whenever i read write say or hear "sugar baby" my brain is like oh yeah, i know what that is! pretty sure we can reliably derive meaning for this term based on other definitions that precede it in our internal lexicon, like "sugar glider" and "bush baby". we are definitely talking about some kind of small arboreal marsupial with large eyes. it's probably not ethical for this wealthy patron to be keeping one as a pet

one genre of fanfiction that seems to have mostly disappeared since i became an adult is shenanigans-type fics. like not exactly crack but just "the gang goes to 7-11" type, extremely low-stakes plot stories. the beach episodes of fanfiction. i just feel like i don't see those around so much anymore. whered they go. i miss them :(

propose to him with the worst fucking ring you can possibly get your hands on. like not a half-assed, "oh you won't like anything I get anyway," passive-aggression ring, that is not the play, you need to do your research and take some interest in the things that matter to your enemy future husband and really learn about like, the gemstone cuts or whatever, and then you need to get him the most eye-catching ring you can find that would also be completely offensive to his overdeveloped sensibilities. He's putting in all this effort to bribe the cat to bite you, it's the least you could do to step it up in response.

So that anon came back with an adorable proposal story, but I fucking love this idea and need it to make it into someone's fanfic or something

wait you might be on to something

idont remmeber what the rest of the post was going to say. use your impregnation i dont care

you get what i mean.

$0