romanroyist

flaccid penis... it's chic, it's hip, it's the next big thing

it's the next thing

you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for an amazing reason

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

when you put your penis inside her and then move back and forth 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

it’s impossible

"girl dinner" "boy kibble" can y'all just eat a meal gender neutrally

gender neutrients

so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

high as fuck lowballing never worn baby shoe listings

i love how in the banner matt manages to immediately frame jay's embarrassing wardrobe malfunction as some kind of cosmic sign that jay should have listened to him about the pants lol. he's like "See, I told you! but because you decided to assert the smallest degree of autonomy now your penis is out on queen street. :⁠-⁠\ yeah, so I guess you should always listen to everything I tell you to do from now on so this doesn't happen again, right?" As ridiculous as it is I do think those kinds of undercurrents can really have an affect on someone like Jay who is at the very least superstitious and easily unsettled and at most probably full on OCD. like he really has matt in his ear every time he tries to do something for himself that matt doesn't explicitly approve of telling him that the universe is going to punish him for not immediately doing whatever matt says. it's crazy, the stakes are always simultaneously so high while also being kind of non-existent. like suddenly jay buying the leather pants when matt told him not to is imbued with the weight of ancient greek myths about vanity and hubris. i love the way matt plays with jay's most basic sense of cause and effect and truly positions himself as the interpretor of jay's reality. it's hot. slowly rewire his brain Sunday or whatever. tune in

"You can suck penis but you can't pee suckness" sounds like a stupid YouTube poop line but it's actually the opening line of Hamilton

aborted abortion doctor: yea thats what i woulda did

My cringe fucking baby and her derivative drivel