You don't actually want to read this.

imagine if a fuckin……. giant alien just showed up and stuck a huge hand in front of your face and then proceeded to offer you three different houses and wouldn’t stop until you moved out of your old shitty apartment and then helped you fuckin move

I first saw this on twitter and COULD NOT get over these comments:

so my dad's car insurance called me today and was like hey we're trying to get a hold of this dude and found your name and thought y'all might be related (i have an incredibly uncommon surname). so I was like yeah that's my dad. can you tell me what he did this time

update: my dad's response to my questioning

got the full story from my dad:

I think that DNIs are a really clear example of the backwards understanding of boundaries that a lot of people have. Some people think it works like: "My boundary is that YOU can't do this thing I don't like"

im scared :(

sometimes when my anxiety flares up and I think I'm gonna get murdered I pretend to be a velociraptor from Jurassic Park because nobody is gonna murder the crazy guy walking like a dinosaur around his house making weird noises and eating ham.

Reblog daily for health and prosperity

Not sure if this is a first for you, but I recently got a tattoo inspired by your words. When reading your Discworld fic, Patterns, the closing line just STUCK in my head. "Sooner or later, the thread becomes the pattern" is such a crafter friendly version of Annie Dillard's "how we spend our days is how we spend our lives" and it stuck in my head. I'm in the process of leaving a job that I've been in for almost 20 years (which in reality was probably about 5+ years too long at this point). As part of my commemoration of the transition, I got a needle and thread tattoo to remind myself that the thread does in fact become the pattern and the daily choices I make shape my life as a whole. So thanks!

Hahahahahahahaha.

👋👋

YES I KNEW I remembered someone else had done it, thanks for sharing the photo again. I especially like how busy it is, as befits the motto :D

Not sure if this is a first for you, but I recently got a tattoo inspired by your words. When reading your Discworld fic, Patterns, the closing line just STUCK in my head. "Sooner or later, the thread becomes the pattern" is such a crafter friendly version of Annie Dillard's "how we spend our days is how we spend our lives" and it stuck in my head. I'm in the process of leaving a job that I've been in for almost 20 years (which in reality was probably about 5+ years too long at this point). As part of my commemoration of the transition, I got a needle and thread tattoo to remind myself that the thread does in fact become the pattern and the daily choices I make shape my life as a whole. So thanks!

Hahahahahahahaha.

👋👋

i can't stop thinking about this. this kind of shit is not like milsim plane nerds with their own super-expensive desktop cockpit recreations. that kind of hardware makes sense to exist.