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BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)

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"Miss" means an unmarried woman. "Mrs." means a married woman. (both of these have origins in the word "mistress" as in "mistress of the house".)

I've had people (usually children) ask me at work if I'm a missus or a miss. I have replied that I am a miz, full stop. And when they pressed for which one I was REALLY, I have replied, "Why? Are you going to treat me differently depending on whether there's a ring somewhere?"

That's what Ms. is for. That is its linguistic function. It says, "This is an adult woman," and nothing else. Nothing else is necessary, and in my case, nothing else is desired.

I also use miz for other women unless and until they express a preference for something else because I don't magically know everyone else's marital status when I meet them. That's a courtesy—I'm declining to assume marital status and allowing them to decide whether they wish to declare it.

That post about Shane giving Kip a face for calling him girl is exactly what I’m imagining here. They wanna talk boys and say period and clock shit to Shane and he’s like “have they ever considered not being like this? Are they having a stroke? What is happening? No I have not seen drag race, I don’t like cars that’s ilyas thing. Are you okay? Are you on drugs?”

I see the gay best friend of it all in the wag chats in fics but no one is ever talking about how much Shane would hate that and be upset and confused by it. I don’t want Shane giggling over wine with Lisa and Cassie talking about getting stains out of shit or when him and Ilya are having kids. If anyone tried to relegate Shane to the wives circle at a party he would leave the party. That dude is somewhere talking sports and complaining about the draft and shit. Idk man. Thoughts. Having them about shit sometimes.

Yeah I just don't read it because it is manifestly Not My Shit, like not even in a guilty pleasure way. I'm really not trying to tell people what they can or can't write and read, this is purely my personal feelings, but it gives me ick tbh. It feels very....Gender, you know? Like there's a lot of unexamined assumptions going on under the hood that squick me out.

Typically I think it's because, you know, not go "as a lesbian" but As A Lesbian I've spent a lot of time thinking about heterosexuality and heteronormativity and how the heterosexual script very much does not work for me, and how it's thrust upon me anyway.

Idk when I see WAG fics like literally all I can think about is the time I slept with a friend of a straight friend and she had me over for wine and like feelings dumped at me about how scared she was that I'd ruined "girl's nights" for the friend group because now, shock of shocks, maybe some of those girls might be dating? Fucking? Quelle horreur....

Anyway this is the kind of daily garden variety homophobia you get as a queer person trying to move through highly heteronormative spaces and it't not really possible for me to separate my feelings on that from the whole WAG fantasy thing.

My skepticism about how well Shane would be able to vibe with other gay men is well-documented, and I know people love to say "Shane needs to get adopted by a pack of lesbians!" but like ... I don't think he would like that either. I think if Shane goes to the effort of making a friend outside of the NHL (honestly debatable) he does perhaps want to be able to talk to this person about DICK. His two main interests are hockey and dick, I think he would not mind being able to talk about dick a lil' bit.

I never vibe with the pack of lesbians thing because I don't think Shane does packs. He seems like a one on one friendship guy to me.

I feel like I could imagine Shane maybe making friends with I can't really fathom Shane being friends with any of the gays from GCU. Like we've got Skip which is fraught, Troy---enough said already, Harris---nothing in common, Fabian---no, Ryan Price---I mean maybe, but he's not going to be a good dick conversationalist and also I get the vibe he just wants to be with Fabian at all times, Eric Bennet---Harvard degree obsessed with luxury clothing doesn't seem like a match for Shane, but like, maybe?, Kyle---no

I feel like the best bet is Shane making friends with another male gay athlete outside of hockey. Maybe reconnecting with his figure skater/speed skater friend. I could picture Shane getting into F1 thanks to Ilya and making friends with a driver, or maybe like a tennis player through Rolex or something (Ilya would be sooooo jealous---the key to avoid that would be another exclusive bottom but personality wise they'd have to be masc, so that's the trick).

I also could imagine him making friends with one (1) singular lesbian / queer female athlete. Maybe hockey player but doesn't have to be, and honestly I feel like I'd love to see Shane make friends with a Chloe Kim or Alysa Liu type. Very different sports, different pressures, but in the winter sports family, and obviously the asian/wasian connection.

Give me Shane "hates clubbing and bars" Hollander not minding Kingfisher in the afternoon but refusing to go at night. Give me Shane never understanding the slang (he's never online) and being overstimulated by drag brunch (it's so LOUD and nothing fits his diet even once he loosens it a little and brunch as a concept throws off his entire routine) and utterly bored by any TV show that isn't the latest game replay (is this reality TV? Is it a drama? He can't remember and he can't tell the difference but honestly he'd rather be watching hockey) and unable to remember the difference between Lady Gaga and Cher (he never listens to music anyway) and completely disinterested in changing his wardrobe (for fancy events he wears whatever his stylist tells him to but not anything adventurous, because he just wants to look acceptable not make a statement).

Give me Shane feeling alienated from gay culture the way he sometimes feels alienated from Japanese culture and being so frustrated that being himself, exactly as he is, still isn't good enough for anyone.

Give me a Shane Hollander who doesn't want to be "the gay hockey player" the same way he doesn't want to be "the Asian hockey player" but he'll suck it up because he's such an inspiration, don't you know how many kids look up to you? Don't you know how much it matters to them to see you out there loud and proud?

Give me Shane finally snapping at Ilya that clearly he's not "super gay" if he's so bad at it, because he's sick and tired of everyone being disappointed that he's not up on whatever the latest queer culture trend is and he does not want to be a "gay icon," he just wants to play hockey and love his husband, and he's not magically a different person now that everyone knows he's gay.

Give me Ilya reckoning with how coming out has only put more expectations on Shane's shoulders and noticing the roles Shane is always forced into - the Asian player, the gay player - and understanding a bit more why privacy seemed like a better guarantee of freedom to Shane than openness.