Hummingbird heart

POV  you’re my FBI guy watching me dissociate like this for half an hour after a work orientation meeting because you realize your therapist was assessing you for risk of being in DV relationship without you knowing ;) and then developed a safety plan with me without me realizing what it was ie gently telling me that if we got in a bad fight, to make sure we weren’t in a bathroom or kitchen ;))

i should be asleep (I have a 9AM thesis presentation to attend via Zoom) but instead I’ve been looking through my archive for hours. I’ve checked to see if my favorite people from when I was growing up are still here. Most are. Many have stopped posting and that makes sense. Become adults and whatnot. I’ve been on this website since I was like 13 and I hope it never shuts down because it offers so much opportunity for nostalgia. Going through my inbox where I gushed with one of my bffs in 2015 about a boy I was crushing on whose name I no longer remember. This is all terribly odd. I’m sitting in my own bed in my own room in my own apartment. This time of the year when I was 16 I was so scared I’d get nowhere in life. This summer I begin my dream internship. My friends make me happy. I have loved and lost and loved and lost and loved and lost. To be honest I’m in a weird place in my life right now. But I’m happier than I ever thought I’d be.