had to delete tiktok because my fyp was too full of narusasu and sakuino, it was filling me with angst T-T
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had to delete tiktok because my fyp was too full of narusasu and sakuino, it was filling me with angst T-T

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being 20 on tumblr feels like this ☹️
post club me thought this was so beautiful the other night
*Trigger Warning: SA and PDF*
A pedoph!le really saw me a child, infuriated my life, saw how hard it was even called CPS but still was like let me make it 10x worse and S3xually abuse her. Like after EVERYTHING I've been through up to that point I kept a smile on my face, still made friends, and was "happy" but he was like "nah, not enough take her childlike innocence as well. That'll do it!"
He even saw how my mom struggled with raising me and the money she didn't have and still didn't put money to the cause. Like he just straight was a shitty boyfriend and step father. Congrats? You couldn't be a shitty, terrible step father but at least paid the bills and help my mom when she was struggling? Just using and abusing, then playing the victim. HA! I have to laugh because I already had a panic attack this morning.
You know what also sucks, is that I couldn't even take PTO for today b/c I have a major surgery that I need done and my PTO and Sick time is all in one. So, I have to save up over 80hrs before I can even apply for FMLA. I have a little less than 20hrs right now, I get 4.62hrs each check, and I get paid every two weeks. So, I won't reach my goal PTO hrs until next year middle of March. Lol! So no days off unless it's a holiday and my office is closed. I have an auto immune disease, so I have to be EXTREMELY careful until March of next year until I can get this surgery and hope that my doctor doesn't force me to get it b/c my bloodwork levels are terrible.
So, after having a panic attack and crying from a little bit before 4am until 6am, I had to come to work and work 8hrs like my life wasn't just shattered after realizing my step father molest3d me. Lol! America am I right? Land of the "Free" and all that shit.
Realizing this is my last year as a teenage girl and now I'm gonna have to become a grown ass woman in her 20s. That being said, I will not lose my whimsy, weird off putting and autistic ways. I'm still serving Helena Bonham Carter and the mad Hatter, but I feel like my last year being a teenage girl I need to do some crazy or fun shit. I need to amp it up for the finisher y'know??

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I hate the “you’re young so you should be dating/hooking up more! You can’t do this later in life” sentiment from older ppl like A. Have you met the men of tdy and B. I can be whatever whenever I want? Since when does hotness have a deadline ugh
Practicing bouquets :)