my future employers better not see this

Dude I was talking to spongebob he doesnt fuck with you no more

hey sorry it's just that i don't think i'm very good at being a person. thanks for letting me try with you, anyway.

you ever meet a guy you just KNOW would get enthralled by the amulet 🙄

so last year during a period of intense suicidal depression i made this necklace that i always wear, right, and the thing is it's genuinely brought me a lot of comfort and relief and i've developed a strong sentimental attachment to it, to the point that i can inarguably state that it's had a net positive effect on my mental wellbeing. however i did now just have to stop to almost throw up laughing because i realised that i've succumbed to the amulet.

whatever MY special interest is my wife #mywife

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

Lean into the funny idiot archetype so that when you’re unexpectedly hypercompetent at something they give you The Look where you can see them reexamine their entire perception of you in confusion, respect and no small amount of fear, and when you keep playing funny idiot they will be forever wary of you. Let them find out, incidentally, that the jester keeps a knife under his hat, and never figure out how to deal with that because they won’t abandon their boxes.

"We need more complex female characters" you guys can't even handle Chappell Roan, Real Life Woman with Boundaries

this is the plot of Dune

THE CHILD IS BORN