A king is only as noble as the causes he serves.

dont be mad but i laid an egg in your bed and if you try to move it ill get really angry.

I don't want to buy mass-produced garbage from a big box store so I go to etsy but half of etsy is now dropshipped mass-produced garbage or AI slop so I go to the local arts and crafts street market but a ton of those booths are also selling the same generic plastic objects or identical stickers or 3D printed dragons so WHERE do I buy real trinkets and art from sincere freaks

limping away from the battlefield all by yourself, handsome?

"you can jack off you can eat grapes all else banned" is kind of the post of the summer because literally wtf else are you supposed to do once it’s 30°C outside

and then you remember that joan jett is opening the next show

definitely the funniest setlist to have leaked ahead of time. like yeah yeah they’re gonna play honey this mirror and jack the ripper sure bud AND THEN THEY DID

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

Since tumblr is rightfully loving this one, I feel obligated to mention that I ran into the same guy again on the last day of the convention and told him Scribe was really entertained by this, and he said that the night before he'd also really gotten one of the hotel waitresses, who informed him he could take a seat wherever and he replied "Oh, no thanks, I brought my own"

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

*scrolling tumblr* hmmm. i agree with the sentiment of this post, but the phrasing feels off to me. it doesn’t really have that Reblog factor, you know? *scrolls* oh good, a post that just says “i jerk off till my penis scrweam” . i better reblog this

you want to be romantically attracted to someone? the thing that killed romeo and juliet?

all this discourse over tpk and they're just like. "yeah it came out? kinda? anyways here's cemetery drive" like they do NOT care

Must feel good as fuckkkk to drag your dying bloody body to the white outline perfectly placed for you a little bit away