A king is only as noble as the causes he serves.

sorry for not answering messages for three thousand years i have. Stew. in place of a brain. you know how it is

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

mymusician... oughh my little bug [remembers parasocial relationships are bad] [remembers infantilization is bad] this complete stranger is their own huge bug

kitten i'll be honest daddy isn't sure he's cut out for full time employment

the point of fanfiction is to write something so self indulgent that nobody else has thought of it before or cares

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

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if i could fuck the free online gif editing tool ezgif.com i totally would

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable