"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosmic Funnies
almost home

izzy's playlists!
trying on a metaphor

Love Begins
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Stranger Things
d e v o n

Kiana Khansmith
YOU ARE THE REASON
will byers stan first human second
icyghini twinkie
Claire Keane
One Nice Bug Per Day
Noah Kahan
we're not kids anymore.

I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@stompmesqueezeme

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I refer to Leverage as the Bugs Bunny of the con/heist genre in that they kinda bend the narrative to their will but also they just literally are Bugs Bunny for corporate scumbags. You can't tell me this isn't the exact kinda shit Bugs would pull if he was a con artist/thief.
one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.
and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
can you imagine.
[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]
vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off
She Would Say That. She would DO that.

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the man who owns and runs the thai restaurant in my town knows me by name. he is one of the kindest and most thoughtful men i know. i started ordering from his place back in january, which was when i got my fibromyalgia diagnosis. back then i was using a walker, had limited mobility in my entire body but especially my hands, and was very visibly in pain. i always ordered the same thing: yellow curry with no meat, potatoes and carrots only (i have texture and other dietary issues). he always made it a point to make sure i could get out the door and carry the food safely. he had his workers package the food so that it was easier for me to open. as i kept coming back and i told him a little bit about my health status, he would always encourage me to keep going. he told me about how the spices he used were good for inflammation and began to edit the recipe just for me so that spices that were even better for fighting inflammation were used. he’d give me extra portions and despite the fact that i would tip every time, i realized later that he never charged my card for them. as time went on and my condition began to get better, especially with the help of a physical therapist, he would make encouraging remarks and tell me how happy he was for me. the day i came in without my walker, he practically jumped for joy, and despite my insistence, he gave me my meal for free that day. i continue to make progress with my conditions and i continue to go to the thai place. this man who does not know me personally and who i hardly know anything about is one of my favorite people. it’s interactions with humans like these that make loving life easier. and his curry really does help my chronic condition. it’s comfort food taken to the next level.
This is what I think about when people ask what the meaning of life is
99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!
FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME
BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND
PANSEXUALS GROW FROM THE CEILING
Happy Pride, cave dwellers 🦇
When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.
people killed: 0
direct orders of "you really really need to kill this guy" ignored: 1
ongoing murders being committed by Ed's own friends/colleagues that Ed got in the way of to specifically stop that murder from happening: 2
God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.
Psych is such a weird show bc in a lot of ways it's constantly asking, "can you forgive your father? even tho he could never forgive you, can you forgive him?" and the thing he could never forgive you for was not meeting his exact very specific expectations. And the answer keeps being yes you can, because not doing so is worse. You tried and it hurt more. You tried and it made you more miserable. You forgive him because he's all you have most of the time, and its somehow less complicated than whatever you have going on with your mom. You can forgive him but you can't forget, and then one day he realizes that he was wrong and there was nothing he should have taken as a slight about you, but you both just never acknowledge this paradigm shift in your relationship bc it'd be more awkward then fighting again for the millionth time. So things get better but you never say why, you never acknowledge it unless forced and somehow you forgive him more than your mom who you were never even half as mad at.
But also it's about breaking and entering into sea world and making a janitor think you killed your best friend so you can escape, it's about gaslighting your coworkers into thinking you are the dumbest man alive, it's about only closing a mystery when it's as funnt as possible and making sure everyone else around you is as baffled as possible. It's about childhood and nostalgia and growing up in the most chaotic way you can. It's about people being killed with a t-rex skull, it's about slapstick and committing to the bit and being the silliest messiest bisexual on tv in 2006-2014.
It's about a son and his father and forgiveness and somehow also they are in a circus tent trying to find out why a corpse was launched from a cannon. And also there's an extended musical episode that makes it onto my personal Spotify year after year

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a star of the ocean ✨🦭
my favorite thing about louis is he's a business major in a world of theater kids. everyone's playing psychological games with each other through theater and rock music and the fractured art of storytelling and he's like "but what are the margins on my vampire hotel"
It’s so fucking bananas that the last straw for Lestat in that meeting was finding out that Louis was getting 45% of merch profits on his tour. What kind of joker ass motherfucker becomes an investor in their ex’s crash out??? Louis Du Pointe Du Lac no one ever did it like you
“get a job” nope im splashing in da pool
via
meet me under the pier we are going beast mode
Drunk Shane can be a bit of a menace. A drink or two is fine, but eventually he'll hit a point where you turn around and he's gone, literally gone because he's going places and he'll happily come trotting back when Ilya calls him, but that's only helpful if he's in earshot, which... can be a challenge.
Drunk Shane when Ilya is ALSO drunk is the BEST. His boyfriend is sooooo funny and soooo fast and strong and smart and brave and they're going on an adventure!!! Ilya doesn't know where but his legs are wrapped around Shane's waist and Shane's arms are wrapped around his legs and the back of Shane's neck smells so good and they're GOING!!!! They're going and going and going because Shane can run forever he's the best hockey player in the whole world and he's Ilya's BOYFRIEND and they're gonna live forever and the stars are out and his mama is watching them and Ilya doesn't even know he's smiling until his cheeks start hurting from it.
(inspired by this post from @pregnanthudsonwilliams) (I've never seen Twilight I'm just having fun)
unreasonably amused by the idea of itty bitty shane not wanting to get off the ice after practice to the point that david gets ON the ice to get him, so itty bitty does the "my bones are gone now" resistance move kids are so good at.
but fails to consider that ice is. so slippery.
like stage your protest all you want, buddy, but you have literally never been more move-able.
Read the post and loved it exactly for the potential of what's in the tags: uh oh now David made it funnnn and Shane, quick little bean that he is, riiiight as he's getting to the edge of the rink, about to be picked up and passed to mom, gets up and skates away to the middle of the rink and PLOMP lays down on his back, giggling and kicking his little skates. "Again, Dad (Shane does not call David daddy in front of his friends, he's not a baby!), again!!"
It doesn't help David and Yuna that everyone and their mother thinks this is the funniest, cutest thing ever and laughs, just spurring Shane to do it more and more.

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I have started following the journey of a German soccer fan in the US for the world cup
@laeffy the euros have found buc-ee's
I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it
I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally
Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere
Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh
They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them
Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it
Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it
group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.