how can i be guilty as sin?

Oh, okay, um... okay, so there's English poet called Lord Byron, kind of a weird dude but wrote some really beautiful stuff, and while he was studying and living at Trinity College which is this super fancy university in London, he wanted a dog right? And they had this policy about no dogs being allowed, so instead of idk getting a petition going or whatever, he went to a county fair and bought a bear, because it wasn't a dog and therefore he wasn't breaking any rules by keeping it as a pet. Which is both lowkey insane, and also kind of badass???

Wow, he's absolutely unhinged and I personally love it. I bet I'd love hearing you talk, too. Want to get a drink?

Well I am sorry that happened if it is a sad thing and if not happy for you moving on to better things. Why are you trying to switch it back to me sweetheart?

I mean, who wouldn't want to talk about you when given the choice?

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I feel like it's bad that my immediate question about all this was whether it was magic or the dead and then realized it's probably a bit of both... but, fair.

It definitely is both, you're so right on that one. Honestly I'd be happy to take you and not just so I can show off.

Uh... I don't know, I've not been back in LA that long... do you want to know me?

I mean, yeah. Like, look at you.

Some people have decorum. Do you know that?

Dex, I have incredible decorum. It's like, 1950s beach chic.

Stacey wants to drive a bus??? Well that seems like a great life skill to have. Maybe i should learn to drive a bus?

Okay, but you can't make left turns, so I'm thinking maybe we hold off on the bus?

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... What? Like in a vehicle?

You know, I didn't actually specify. I should probably do that.

Thank you! I won't let you do and you'll get a bunch of new clients with my awesome commercial!

Do you have like a portfolio or something?

Uh, totally. Please spill! I've got my popcorn and tea waiting!

So like, allegedly, this lady (a queen with a hustle) basically hired herself out to wives whose husbands were cheating on them. She'd check social media every time some guy came in with a hot piece, and see if the girl matched the wife. When it didn't match, she'd look them up on social media, contact the wife, and offer to food poison them with room service for a fee. One wife went crazy, gave her $20,000 to take her place, and showed up with the room service at her husband and his side piece's door. Beat the side piece up, now is getting sued. Allegedly. Isn't that wild?

Has anyone ever told you that you're a literal work of art? @rileyjulypsu

Not in the last few hours

That's such a crime against humanity. You are literally a work of art.

I saw the cutest nail design and I want you to be my test dummy for them. @addycorcoran

Dude, my nails are practically nonexistent... You sure you came to the right person?

Oh, do you bite them? Or do you keep them short for more fun purposes?

Little ol' me? A good song, I hope.

Well it was by Gracie, so of course it was the best.

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