Mood

I'm terrified of speaking to people in real life because one of them could say "I'm a chuckster!" and just hurtle me three hundred feet up in the air

Make sure you say "I wonder what they're doing right now..." about your comic relief friends every now and then so the episode can cut to their B plot

[teen sister in a 90’s movie voice] my pronouns are what/ever/major/loser now get out of my room

[obnoxious younger brother voice] yeah mom, I told loser it's time for dinner. ... ow, quit it, I'm respecting your pronouns—

a real shinzo abe sort of ad tbh

working a non food service job for the first time in over two years and now i Make Appointments. and the fun thing about Make Appointments jobs is if you dont like someones vibes you can say there are no more Appointments

This is so pure

I have to wonder if the cat had a confusing day. “In cat carrier… in car… VET?! No; tasty food with kids in strange house. Now home again? Okay??”

Phase 1 : Travel to West Virginia Phase 2 : ? Phase 3 : Mothman

Phase 2: country roads

Memes are now meant to reach an audience of 3 people max

Niche memes

So specific 😹😹

i’m the niche group

2024. your alex (alexa has been made gender neutral) wakes you up with an alarm at 5:30.... you thought you didn't need to wake up until 7, but your work's schedule app shows that the scheduling ai changed the schedule overnight, following the termination of your coworker brandyn, and your alarm was automatically adjusted. you feel like shit. "alex," you say, "i need to call in. i feel horrible..." you hold still as alex's camera scans you and they analyze your appearance for signs of illness. "you appear to be feeling fine," they say, "are you sure you want me to go ahead with that request?" you grimace.... you're exhausted. you steel yourself for whatever consequences are to come.... "yes," you say. "alright," says alex, "i'm submitting your request now." your phone buzzes on your wrist - the request has been received. a second notification. you've been terminated for falsifying a sick day request. a third - this one is from the property management company that owns your apartment - after receiving notice of your termination, the leasing ai has elected to evict you. within 24 hours, your smart home security will no longer recognize you as a resident. alex starts to count down

BTW you are not working for some kind of orwellian megacorp you are working at a little coffeeshop owned by a pleasant blonde woman who uses the scheduling app because its convenient and your apartment complex is a small one with only 10 units and the office staff is friendly but they dont really make the decisions and things are so normal you can convince yourself that things are normal and pleasant and everything is so convenient

That's why I don't trust virtual assistants

honestly you know why people centuries ago were so extra in the way they spoke and so dramatic it’s because they were listening to classical music. go turn on some johann sebastian bach and tell me you don’t suddenly feel like composing a hand written love letter to your dearest annabelle and using the word melancholy

this question is good for all lgbt people of course, except for terfs

"my first digital art program was ms paint/paint tool sai" yes well mine was wii photo channel photo editor