Heyy :)

Can you imagine being stuck in space completely alone with only the corpses of your friends for company, and the first living thing you meet after 46 years of that misery is a fucking weird alien creature who just rolls up with crazy advanced tech and goes "hi let's work together" and makes it possible for you to save your world through the power of friendship and molecular biology. AND THEN you find out that in this creature's language, its name means "mercy". Happened to my good friend Rocky btw

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

Angel on my left shoulder telling me to do good. Devil on my right shoulder telling me to do bad. Rat on my head teaching me how to cook

and does the rat itself not have shoulders…. much to consider here.

Also: while we’re doing checkpoints, make sure you’re on WiFi and not data

And unclench your jaw

If you need to use the bathroom you have to do that now

Please get that drink of water and remember your meds

If you can’t remember the last time you showered/brushed your teeth here’s your sign to try and do those today

Set an alarm for tomorrow if you need to!

don’t forget the laundry in your drier

This was very helpful, I took my meds and had a shower.

I will never forget the flight I took to Paris in college and the tiny adorable child in the seat in front of me with his nose pressed against the window looking at the lights and squealing "OOOOOOH, C'EST MAGNIFIQUE!!!"

my friend and i had to leave an ice cream shop once because a small child who sounded exactly like JFK ordered some rum raisin and we couldn’t fucking handle it

I will never forget the flight I took to Paris in college and the tiny adorable child in the seat in front of me with his nose pressed against the window looking at the lights and squealing "OOOOOOH, C'EST MAGNIFIQUE!!!"

my friend and i had to leave an ice cream shop once because a small child who sounded exactly like JFK ordered some rum raisin and we couldn’t fucking handle it