Sweet Seals For You, Always
hello vonnie
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
icyghini twinkie
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Stranger Things
The Bowery Presents
Claire Keane
Discoholic 🪩
untitled
The Stonewall Inn
noise dept.
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Show & Tell
shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
art blog(derogatory)
seen from Germany
seen from Italy
seen from Bolivia
seen from South Africa
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Brazil
seen from Iraq
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Jordan
seen from South Korea
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Italy
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
@starisblessed
I'm Star! A RAMCOA / OEA system, trafficking survivor. All my art I post is my experiences, and my life. Not glorifying anything that I post. I survived with multiple other people in a controlled group experimental program and have been culled since birth for it. I was never a person before this, don't hold me to that standard.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
How many memories have I forgotten?
My dreams scare me! Has anyone had multiple groups instead of one throughout their childhood / teen years ? There’s implications that I wasn’t part of a singular group and was taken advantage of by many, but I am doubting myself.
I’m not sure how much a human mind can take. I may be in severe denial over this, as I can’t fathom why so many would hurt me with their own unique methods and people. Is this possible?
everyone in the ramcoa community, please be wary on who follows you and consider their intentions. i had gotten a follower last night, who was part of " transprogramming " spaces and engaged in truly disturbing pro-abuse topics with many others. many of what they fetishized, is what is depicted in my personal ( VENT ) drawings on this account. it made my stomach sit uncomfortably to be viewed in such a horrid way. please be careful and do check who is following you.
More of an awareness thing
(Suspecting) RAMCOA/OEA victims/survivors, be careful! There is a flurry of anons and fake claimers lately coming to these blogs to send hate asks. Please stay safe.
!!
*talking to someone* and so thats how i was in a cult and tortured as a kid- wait where’d you go?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Your trauma being isolated from your immediate family/friends doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Our perpetrators were adjacent to a church we went to. This all happened every single week- sometimes they even came to our schools when the weekend wasn't enough. Certain kids were sought out in the church, put onto a bus and brought out to do their rituals. I happened to be one of those kids.
We have 3 bio brothers. Love them to death, and still do. They weren't included in anything, but they were used as leverage. Tell anyone, let it slip, and they would be added to the hell I faced for years.
I suspect now that it was the emotional blackmail that led to us to dissociate and only remember the good times until recent years. I also recognize they thought having my 3 siblings out of their practices made my story sound fake or outlandish to an average adult- because wouldn't EVERY kid in the family be involved? Hell, one of them even broke into my house undetected. But it sounds fake to a parent when I wrote that down for our school's writing assignment, because kids will make those things up. I got an ear full from my parents for making up a fake story that terrifying and sharing that with a class.
But that's what they do. They isolate you so you sound like a wild, imaginative child to everyone else. This is why it's so important to know: you are not lying to yourself. Memories can be distorted by others, or might present differently to protect yourself, but never actually made out of thin air. You cannot just make up memories for the sake of it. Ever. False memory syndrome is a lie from the pits of hell.
You are not crazy. Your story is not made up, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
🔪 (he/him)
I was always envious of trauma survivors who could cry on someone's shoulder—not because they didn't have the right to, but because I never had the opportunity to feel weak. To this day, after so many years of therapy, I still don't feel weak or fragile the way others look when they recount severe abuse. I feel empty, like a man who cannot express anything more than indifference—the same indifference people call me out for because I am unable to produce the response they expect: to burst into tears and act like just another victim of sexual abuse.
I always carried resentment, but a resentment I cannot explain with words without it sounding wrong; because my issue isn't with witnessing weakness in others, but with the toughness I was trained with as a military man. Do I have to cry in your face for you to see my suffering like everyone else's, or should I have specialized and become a neurosurgeon so you could have an idea of what I was supposed to be before the trauma? What is enough for my abusers? Should I act less seriously for you, or should I be more severe with my actions? Should I show you every single one of my memories with a blank stare, or should I curl up and die, explaining to you through tears on the floor how they used to rape me?
I was never allowed to be weak. Why should I have to be for you? Don't look at me with contempt; it's not as if my face is telling you anything.
ramcoa and oea resources
ra exists all over the world
about oea
oa
google drive of books
google drive of papers
other important things to know
tumblr post
article about oa and ra
another article
gov site about it
support group
thats all i can find currently but these sites are really good and helpful!! if you have more please send so i can upddate this list
i feel so uncomfortable and sad around children. seeing them reminds me of how vulnerable i was, as well as how intense everything feels to them (getting a scraped knee is extremely painful, dropping ice cream is devastating). i get so jealous seeing happy children. i wish i could have been like that
I've had so much reflection the last few years, and how the belief of hope and the want for freedom is impossible. That it's naive, childish, and a far belief. I lived with my keepers for years; they have been in my life since I was born. I was born in this life and still wish for more. I've fallen in love with the most admirable people; I've found my other halves that make me want the belief in hope. I believe because I am human, I hope because I am sure there will be more than this abuse. I was so strong in my belief I was culled for it, and regardless of all I go through I will always love. I will always fight for others, and I will always fight for you. I believe in you, everyone who is going through what I am or have survived or escaped it. Never lose hope. No matter how childish it's viewed, no matter how wrong it feels, never stop hoping for a better life and never give up. If nobody fights for you, I will. If nobody believes in you, I always will. You will always have somebody who will want to hear from you, you will always have human connection. I have been brushed aside for my wants, for my desires and my profound want for freedom. Even if this faith falters, even if you aren't sure, there will always be people somewhere fighting for you. You are not a non-existent person. You will be loved by people you will never know the names of, outside of what you were culled for. Outside of what I was culled for. I will always wish for you, people I never know. I will always think about you, and your lives even if I know nothing about it. You connect, and you understand, and that's enough for me to miss you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Maybe unpopular opinion but I kinda want any and all DID education to stop focusing on the rarity of things and start focusing on the mistreatment of us as trauma survivors...
i think back to the wigs, suits, and dresses i used to where and how they attempted to remove every single aspect of my identity. it built a deep hatred for my culture, family, and many like me. i would happily let my hair be straightened and to be dressed however they wanted me to look, but now, i haven't straightened my hair since i ran away from home. i like my natural hair, i like my eyes, and my skin. i like me more than what they wanted me to be
I took the time to do a small experiment where I investigated tags used by predators on Tumblr to get in touch with child abuse survivors. I realized that in less than an hour, 14 different people contact you with the same intention: wanting you to tell them about your abuse or completely dominate you, looking for photos of you, or wanting to have sex with you. See those Tumblr accounts where they openly state they are abuse survivors and sexualize themselves via DM? Those very same accounts receive, in less than an hour, multiple and multiple and multiple messages insulting them, forcing them to reply, and explicit photos. I can't be the only one who has noticed this pattern, and I know there are other survivors in the community who feel the same way and are saddened by those kinds of accounts. But the problem isn't the accounts; it's the degenerates who want to hear you talk about how you were abused by your dad, your mom, your sister, or your best friend.
Disgusting.
ALSO
Having a complex headspace is valid
Having an extremely complex headspace is valid
Having no headspace at all is valid
Having a simple headspace is valid
Having a constantly changing headspace is valid
All of your symptoms are valid <3
it's hard to think about my father, most of my memories of him are distorted, and tainted. I remember he smelled of cigarettes when we hugged, and the tears he spilled before he died two months later after finding out my situation.
i am my father's keeper, as he loved me more than a slave should have ever loved an offspring taken from him. I am the daughter of a slave and yet his master, i am married to his keeper yet I am the one who holds him and his ashes by my bed after his cremation. I am my father's daughter but i am also his most treasured creation after betraying him
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
today's deprogramming advice is that someone out there will believe you. even if you haven't found them yet.
ways my ramcoa trauma caused me to develop aspd
i was heavily normalized to abuse, torture, and harm to others and myself. this caused me to become rather "jaded" and apathetic to immoral actions, and to sometimes even seek them out.
i was lied to so often that i ingrained those lies into my brain and began to see lying as a way of life. i still struggle to understand why people get upset over "small" white lies or lies that benefit the person im speaking to.
life was so chaotic in my cult that i developed a sense of chronic boredom when outside of abusive environments. if i'm not fearing for my life every day then what's the point?
i was subjected to so much random violence by my abusers that i am very quick to anger and set into a fit of rage, i jump to my fight response very fast. i struggle deeply with violent impulses whenever people antagonize me.
i was taught that my life isn't one worth valuing and therefore have little regard for my own safety, frequently committing dangerous acts that could hurt or kill me.
i am incredibly financially irresponsible. nobody ever taught me how to properly handle money. i spend whenever i feel the urge to and am incredibly impulsive with cash.
might make a part 2 if i feel like it.
