space for ramcoa/oea survivors

genuinely i think the endo community’s weird obsession with programmed systems is this bizarre form of jealousy that like. they think programmed systems are universally validated and accepted for their trauma and mental illness because it’s “bad enough” in a way they feel entitled too. which it isn’t even true, endos get treated better than programming/RAMCOA survivors and CDD systems as a whole because they are not mentally ill or trauma survivors so they have the privilege of being free from that discrimination. they also fail to understand that having “worse” problems makes getting help harder for a number of reasons including doctors literally not knowing what to do with organized abuse survivors. 

i’ve literally heard endos say stuff like “systems with x type of trauma are lucky because people think they’re valid” 🫩

there are a lot of rlly shitty things they frequently say about programmed systems and/or RAMCOA survivors. the most common i’ve seen is using us to try to prove you can be endogenic … because apparently being deliberately tortured by a high control group at a very young age with the goal of training you to behave in a specific way (usually because it makes you easier to further torture) is the same as deciding to make some imaginary friends one day? like they deadass take “my traffickers would intentionally trigger dissociation so they could take advantage of my brian’s coping mechanisms” as proof that you can decide to be a system whenever you want.

for me i was also convinced i was “mixed origin” and “protogenic” by endo systems when i was like 14 because of programmed alter splits & internal handlers programming alters and the fact that my trauma started when i was a baby so “it has been happening for as long as i can remember so i must have been born a system”. for me at the time i was mostly safe from my abusers but i know people who were taught stuff like that while actively being trafficked or in a cult that was taking advantage of the fact they were a system.

they convinced me that my trauma wasn’t bad enough to have DID and that i didn’t have amnesia (i had debilitating amnesia). i was also taught that my system would never act in a way that hurt me and shamed for being a toxic/selfish host when i reacted in unhealthy ways because of programming or like was hostile to internal handlers who think it’s best that we do whatever our abusers want.

this didn’t just happen to me like i said it’s insanely common among other programmed systems i know. polyfragmented DID especially programmed HC-DID presents in unconventional ways and a lot of things common in CDID systems have been appropriated by endos, such as not knowing when or why splits happened, not remembering trauma, having symptoms since a very young age, having lots of alters with a complex inner structure, even having alters that “make alters” which ppl will insist makes you mixed origin but it is not unheard of for alters to represent in system functions that you cannot really control, like an alter representing how your subconscious splits alters by physically cloning them in headspace.

sometimes i genuinely feel like some endos are intentionally grooming young trauma survivors. not all, i don’t want to make such heavy accusations towards the whole endo community even tho i don’t like them because i think the majority are just ignorant and ableist or children being manipulated, but they definitely have a hatred for victims of trafficking, cults, and other organized child abuser groups. generally they do not like PTSD survivors and other mentally ill people which is not surprising considering their origins but it is annoying when they claim to not be ableist or hateful towards victims.

You described perfectly some of my thoughts on endos and how they treat some parts of the CDD community. And i agree. How people treat ramcoa/programmed systems WORSE compared to people who dont even know what a system is is genuinely heartbreaking. All endos do is discredit the disorder when it's hard enough as is getting help or people that believe and support you alone. Thank you for sharing.

before i say anything about me leaving i wanna say please dont worry about this-is-actual-abeism and this-is-ramcoa or the eden blog, those are staying up and i will still be active at most ill take a break but i find those blogs to important to leave or delete. so no those arent going anywhere!! this blog though, i cant do it anymore im sorry (explaination below the cut!!)

Hi! I'm a report programmed part. Here's some of what I do.

Find an outlet. I journal or make my report post to a private tumblr account

Find something to distract yourself. I draw usually.

Talk to my partner. I can sometimes give him vague ideas of what I want to say. Only do this with someone you can absolutely trust, but be careful.

I once again am going to say distractions. They're the most effective in my experience.

general tw for talks of programming

this is a blog run by a programmed system, for programmed experiences. this includes systems, singlets, etc, as long as it's programmed.

programming can include ramcoa/oea, but we are referring specifically to itbc/tbmc.

FAQ:

Q: "how do i know if im programmed" / "is there a diagnosis checklist"

A: you can't know for 100% certainty, it would be nice if you could; but you just can't. There is no sure-fire way to tell if you're programmed other than looking into your system function & see if there's any intense conditioning— but that looks different for everyone ! And looking into that can be very unsafe !

Q: "does [x] count as programming" / "can i be programmed from [x]"

A: possibly. I dont know all the intricacies of your experiences, so i can't give a blanket answer ! Nor do i feel comfortable saying definitively what you have or haven't experienced.

Q: "im questioning programming, can i send an ask/interact ?"

A: yes.

< mod & blog info under the cut >

ra exists all over the world

about oea

oa

google drive of books

google drive of papers

other important things to know

tumblr post

article about oa and ra

another article

gov site about it

support group

Oh we're REALLY trying to do Satanic Panic 2, huh? Just exacerbating Qanon pizzagate "they're selling children as furniture" nonsense?

This is misinformation and it's vile, leading to real world consequences. Satanic panic is right wing propaganda, an evangelical push to literally demonize the other with a straight line from "satanists" to "queers." At best it's a delection of the actual decentralized abuses of the Christian Church that takes advantage of well meaning ignorance and mental illness (paranoid schizophrenia is very vulnerable to this manipulation). At worst it's the groundwork for theocratic fascism.

I have lived through this before. Do not let it happen again. Educate yourself right now about history. The West Memphis Three and Hampstead Hosx are great starting points on the victims of Satanic Panic both old and new.

https://www.illuminatingfacts.com/dungeons-dragons-and-the-satanic-panic-when-a-game-became-a-scapegoat/

also i know about the cases you linked, hell ive done a whole presentation about wes memphis 3 for a criminalistics class and done SO much research but we arent bringing back the satanic panic also why tf would i, as a pagen, want to bring it back?

Here's one from your MDPI link (Not a reputable social sciences source btw).

So to say *I* jump to satanic abuse is an outright falsehood. Additionally, not once did i say ritual abuse and trafficking do not exist. I'm fully aware, for example, of the well documented abuse rampant in Christian churches, particularly evangelical and Catholic.

What you have done by your choice of material is to conflate actual trafficking like Epstein with consistently debunked like SRA - whether it's because you didn't bother to read your sources or you actually believe the conspiracy - is outright harmful to abuse survivors. It discredits them at the same time as putting targets on the backs of others. You are playing into conspiracy.

If you actually are pagan (your post leaves me doubting it, god knows I've dealt with plenty of evangelical Christians claiming "ex-witch" status in the same breath as "i went to a Marilyn Manson concert and he said he wouldn't play until the audience killed the three puppies he threw in!”), you're completely misinformed and should be aware the the vast majority of satanic beliefs are non-theistic. Those that aren't still primary uphold the plain admonitions against harming animals and children. A few theistic fascist whackjob groups exist, and they are not the source of the world's child abuse.

Finally, a DNI does not shield you from criticism when perpetuating harm and it's fallacious to assume people see it at all when your posts cross their dash.