the original tweet being translated from russian may provide some helpful context as to why OP is fantasizing about being able to be publicly affectionate with a partner. sex is an important part of lesbianism for many people (including myself!); i also think approaching harmless posts like this with sympathy for the context is more thoughtful and considerate than jumping to a snappy comeback. my heart aches for OP and i hope they are able to find happiness in an often unkind world.
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@creekfiend was very kind in sharing some writing resources with me, and I thought I'd pass along the kindness by listing them down below.
N.K. Jemisin's article 'Describing characters of color in writing'
Mary Anne Mohanraj's article on approaching characters of colour
Renee Harleston's article How to 'Write Characters of Color Without Using Stereotypes'
Working with Colour, a resource site for writers
the book Writing the Other by by Nisi Shawl and Cynthia Ward, which had a description that cut deep, because I've definitely fallen into this trap out of fear:
and then a video recommended by @sheprd (thank you!) about pitfalls in descriptive language
Alright, close your eyes and think of the following phrases: “olive-skinned,” “dark features,” and “tall, dark, and handsome.” Hold in your
if anyone else has more resources to add, feel free to reblog with them! this is something I want to learn more about.
I know Hayden is meant to be Shane's Main Friend and Jackie and the kids are more of an extension of them being best buds, but I love the idea of Jackie's obsessed with being the first WAG to feed you being the prelude to Shane and Jackie bffism. Jackie's always had a sense for kindred spirits and through Hayden's funny work stories and the brief interactions she's had with Shane at social functions, she just knows.
Beyond that, I love any exploration of them as Metros Captain and default Head WAG. Maybe the invitation is an understanding: if Shane and JJ are still single next year, then Jackie's probably going to have a lot on her plate. She wants to make this work, not be at cross-purposes.
Shane is dryly funny in a way that takes her by ambush halfway through replying, and he takes himself seriously in a way she admires. She's plugged into hockey enough he doesn't have to edit or explain himself, but removed enough from it that she isn't relying on him the way the guys do, or trying to enforce some kind of no shop talk rule in her home that Shane never knows how to talk around. His parents have always divided up childcare and hockey and household tasks in ways that made sense instead of adhering to the gender roles hockey families often default to, so even though he's very much a Hockey Guy, he doesn't discount Jackie's contributions the way Hayden's AHL teammates were forever doing. She also appreciates that she's never caught him staring down her neckline (another delightful habit of the AHL teammates).
The thing about not being the most socially adept and growing up with a really narrow experience of life is that you learn to read between the lines. You guess at the rules other people just intuit. People reference things you've never heard of and it turns out asking just grinds everything to a halt and makes people uncomfortable, so you interpret. You infer. You improvise. So Shane rolls with it when Jackie starts pushing more into Real Friend territory, and yeah, totally's his way through various conversations about Jackie's yoga friends and childcare and wouldn't a quiet low-key dinner with friends would be nice until he ends up doing at home yoga sessions every morning and being the Pikes' most dependable babysitter when the twins are born and coming over for dinner every Wednesday night.
The friendship just works, but so does their leadership style.
The next year, when Shane is Captain and Jackie's de facto Head Wag, there's always something happening that falls under at least one of their purviews, and they like coordinating their approaches and reading each other in on the State of the Metros. Jackie's good at reading people in a way Shane just isn't, and has helped him untangle a few interpersonal messes before they could show up on the ice, but Shane has a big-picture impression of how things not only feel from the inside but read from the outside that's helped Jackie head off more than one issue on the WAG front that might otherwise have hit social media and blown up in all their faces.
There's a mutual disconnect with being in a position of authority that they align on. Nobody elected Jackie, she doesn't hold any genuine authority, and she's only twenty-three. The reason people come to her for help and abide by her decisions is because she stepped up and then didn't step on any toes.
Shane's only twenty when he's given the C, and the Metros old guard might like winning but they don't like taking orders from a kid. Every team he's ever been on, Shane's stood out—age, race, dedication, social disconnect, and above it all, talent. Always too good not to be crowned with authority he teammates don't like from him. It's trained him up to a particular kind of peer leadership that differs from what's expected from most team captains—always leading by example, never raising his voice, mediating between players and staff. It's a double edged sword—he can carry out his duties as captain without creating resentment or completely removing himself from being one of the guys. He can be exceptional and also be liked in the room. But it's brittle. They can need him, but he can't need them. Every perceived imperfection is an in-joke he has to tolerate.
No one particularly wants Shane and Jackie at the helm, but there will be hell to pay if they don't steer the ship well.
Hayden does his best to be more enlightened than the average hockey player, but he's still grown up in sports and is socialized to not really see male-female friendships, so in his mind, he's the Main Friend, but he's kind of third-wheeling it in his own home whenever Shane's over for dinner, especially during what he calls the Council Meetings. He's a solid A and always ready to back Shane up, but he's more used to enjoying the comradery of a locker room than setting the tone.
He's just happy to have a buddy his wife not only tolerates, but actively encourages inviting over. An AHL teammate got a girlfriend who couldn't stand the team. It had been hard on the guy, and made Hayden determined to strike a balance that made himself and Jackie both happy, especially since she'd gotten pregnant with the twins partway through that season.
Jackie does her own version of this, funnily enough. She loves platonically sharing the throne with Shane so she's petrified of how it would go if Shane got a girlfriend who wouldn't Get It. Not only would she have to step down as Head WAG, she'd lose her bff/babysitter/conspirator/comrade-in-arms against deep-fried everything for dinner. She has to take matters into her own hands and get him a love interest who likes her. He's handsome, he's successful, and he can hold a genuine conversation with a woman. It's a miracle no one's locked him down yet. She has to move quickly!
Years down the line, when the Ilya of it all come to light, she does feel a little silly for never considering that maybe Shane never once checking her out might have been more than just manners. In her defense, all her gay friends are lesbians. She just never really many male friends in high school and uni.
-
Also, I just think it would be very funny if just one time, Shane accidentally introduced Hayden to someone as "My friend Jackie Pike's husband, Hayden."
Hayden buries this memory. He Cannot think about it.
since becoming a barista i have noticed a few very distinct typologies among my customers. such as:
the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.
sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.
evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.
sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.
evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.
errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.
grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.
#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.
schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.
amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.
this of course is not an exhaustive list but those are just some of the most consistent Types i get. ok bye xoxo
if you're anything like me and you don't feel heat like you should, or you live in a normally not-hot area that's currently experiencing a heat wave, and/or you've been sipping plain water for hours and wondering why your throat is still dry and you're inexplicably exhausted, you probably need electrolytes.
in this situation your best line of defense is gatorade or some form of electrolyte tablet or powder. if you like those things, go get those things, this post is over.
BUT maybe you're also like me and you find gatorade unbearably sweet (it also gives me a headache, no idea why), and maybe you can't afford the fancy tablets or powders
if that describes you, I just did the following right here in my kitchen:
grab a big ol thermos/cold cup/giant glass of your choosing (i think mine holds 2 cups of liquid)
throw a pinch of salt in there and dissolve it in a lil bit of warm water
squeeze half a lemon in (or 1-2 tablespoons of store bought lemon juice. or lime, or orange, any citrus works tbh)
add 1-2 tablespoons of real maple syrup OR honey (maple syrup dissolves easier, honey will need a bit more warm water to melt it)
fill the rest with cold water
boom. poor man's gatorade, not too sweet, and within 20 minutes of sipping it my "mysterious" exhaustion is gone. i am very annoyed it was this easy to feel good again after languishing for hours wondering why the hell I was so tired and shaky. it was the electrolytes. it's 90 degrees out and I don't feel hot so I forgot. don't make my mistake. now go forth and hydrate!
I made it and here's some thoughts from me (days after first reblogging this) so: Its way better than gatorade, but I may have put in too much lemon(i love lemon) taste wise the first 1/3 reminded me of unsweetened, but well watered lemonade– then the honey, which didn't dissolve as well nicely as I wanted to it kicked in (the honey and lemon smell together were very lovely tho,,) was a bit of a chore to drink due to the sweet&sour not mixing well enough in my try but I think that's user failure
Overall, I feel a lot better after drinking this, there's no bad sensory feel to it, it didn't give me the icky sticky feeling that things like gatorade usually give me– solid 10/10( maybe 9.5 but it was my fault I added too much lemon/didnt stir well enough)
I never saw this addition til now, but I'm glad to see someone tried this in the wild and liked it!
while I'm here and it's currently the month of March and still cold weather season in a lot of places, I'd like to add that hot water with lemon and honey is also very hydrating and not just for when you're sick! particularly if you have heat running in your house, it can suck moisture out and quietly dehydrate you as well.
personally, it turns out I'm chronically low on electrolytes for medical reasons so I've continued to drink maple-lemon-salt water year round - more concentrated in summer, more diluted in winter. I get way less headaches/migraines now. if I'm ever stuck with plain water or even bubbly flavoured water, I get a headache again within hours. bodies are weird! stay hydrated however you need to folks!
we've been having a bit of a heatwave, here in scotland, so i uncovered this from my 'to keep for later' draft posts and made this.
life saver! super easy to make and actually tastes good. and resolves the pesky electrolytes issues....!
and since i am chronically dehydrated (remembering to drink, esp water, is hard okay) this might become part of my daily routine, as, for once, i actually managed to drink it all in a normal amount of time (instead of taking all day to drink the one glass).
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can i just say how much i appreciate and love your nightmare driver shane? every time someone takes the ‘it’s practical in the snow’ at face value and puts shane down as a safe driver i die a little more on the inside. shane THINKS he is a safe driver who makes practical car decisions but he is not. listen. man drives a jeep cherokee, which is a car boat made for people who want to feel like they’re cool enough to go off-roading every time they go to the costco that would be walking distance if it weren’t for the (minimum) four lane highway in the way. unless of course you’re going by tv canon in which case he drives a rover. which is worse. rovers are for people who want to buy a jeep cherokee but are too rich to own something so middle-class. and who also count calling triple-a as a hobby. i know for a fact in my heart of hearts that shane on some level sees a highway as a pvp enabled zone and his car is his tank. which is safe* in sort of a libertarian way but does not factor public safety in at all which is the point! of! safe! driving! if he actually wanted to min/max safe & practical in a car, he would have some kind of 4wd hybrid situation. toyota/honda/subaru. he’s rich so i could forgive a lexus (which is just a luxury toyota). but a fucking ROVER? get the fuck out of here. at least it’s not a beemer jfc
*this is a lie. the presence of an suv in a collision increases the likelihood of death for both the person in the suv and the other driver. i mean the other guy is definitely worse off than the guy in the tank, but massive cars and trucks make the road less safe for everyone
source: i hate cars and work in a rich people drive thru. learning better ways to roast them for their awful vehicular choices is my passion. if it were up to me we’d all be driving tiny hybrids (or have robust public transport) which btw i survived 5 winters driving on the Colorado front range without 4wd it is a Want, not a Need.
thank you for coming to my unnecessarily aggressive ted talk. i hate jeeps so much
I love it when people are passionate in my inbox. These are the strongly held beliefs I want to see. I am kissing you on the forehead
Just reading a Heated rivalry fic and Shane has been referred to as a second round draft pick.
No, he was the second draft pick overall. I'm not 100% what second round means in this context, but I know he wouldn't have been set up in media etc as Ilya's rival if he was a second round pick.
Took a moment to breathe and type this out. I don't care about innacuracies usually, but this is a sports fandom.
I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.
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me describing Shane Hollander: Yeah so technically this version of Shane was essentially created through strange ritual means that caused the original Shane to go through a sort of magical mitosis. He doesn’t know what he actually took with him and what the other Shane kept. He definitely got the Hockey but he’s a little unsure if he has a soul. Still he’s the one who inherited the mantle of Shane Hollander and feels like that must be worth something so he never thinks about his trauma and really doesn’t work to form new bonds because everything’s temporary Y’know.
No he still talks to his ‘brother’ fairly often. Guy had a bit of a breakdown in his early twenties but right now he’s doing awesome. Some friends, a dating life, decent job, magical adventures in the weekends. They both tell each other about their epic lives and Shane was terrified for years that he’d be jealous of Shane’s fame and doesn’t know what to do with that fact that he isn’t. That all his friends who decided to have their own magical strange lives accomplished a lot less on paper but still have each other and are happy and Shane isn’t sure he is.
Luck powers- Shane literally lives a charmed life. He's never been hurt by idiots rough housing too close, never gotten food poisoning, never stepped on a children's toy, restaurants he picks at seeming random always have food on his meal plan and ginger ale. If there's a lack of ginger ale, he's in a restaurant someone else picked or a restaurant chosen for convenience.
He has a ritual to ensure his powers are limited in hockey- only enough that he would 'luckily' not be badly hurt if he took a bad hit. It's probably why he has all his original teeth.
It's years before he learns why his powers 'failed' when Marlow hit him, why he got so badly hurt from a check that shouldn't have done any serious damage.
Turns out his powers considered a potential end to his relationship with Ilya worse than a broken collarbone (which healed weirdly slowly until Scott kissed Kip, and started healing quickly/normal for Shane after).
Am I the mom friend? Absolutely not. But what I AM is the "prepared for any situation" friend, and THAT bears wisdom I can pass on
Step 1: Cargo pants, or purse, fanny pack, cool jacket, backpack, etc.
Step 2:
Folded-up plastic bag
Tweezers
Chapstick
Small knife
Lighter
Band-aids
Hand sanitizer
Hard candy
Travel-size Tylenol
Needle and thread
Safety pin
Bus fare
Charger
Pen/flashlight combo
Sticky notes
Granola bar
Tampon
Pad
Mini multi-head screwdriver
Zipock of tissue
Bottle opener
Hockey tape
This can be a lot to unload and re-load if you're a cargo pants person, but if you like me are not really a purse person I highly recommend either a cool jacket you can sew secret pockets into or a spare water bottle you can grab 'n' go whenever
I share this because being the guy who always has The Thing You Need is the best feeling in the world and I think more people should experience it
I love how the notes for this are just chock full of examples of the most batshit specific things people research for their fanfics. Truly a treasure trove.
I went through Every Constellation in Wikipedia, and wrote down the names of stars that I thought would be good for an Rigel-verse House of Black character (a HP-AU fandom). Then I bought an e-book and went through that, doing the same thing.
Then I took my handwritten notes (most of a notebook) and typed them up. With asterisks, because the book author is noted as not referencing his sources.
And posted months worth of work on tumblr.
I didn't even write a fic, this was strictly for the writing equivalent of doodling. Fanfic Ideas.
Not the craziest thing I researched for fic, but definetely the craziest research I've done.
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