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@ssassholee
Landscape embroidery by Carolina Torres

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English added by me :)
“Cats don’t actually love you”
A cat is a small creature in the middle of the food chain that is fully aware that you are a very large thing that could stomp its head in at any moment and yet it chooses to rest its tiny little head on your leg for a nap and spreads out on the floor near you exposing its belly and its most sensitive organs. It brings dead mice and bugs to you to share food.
Don’t you get it? This tiny thing trusts you. It wants to help you too. It licks your leg thinking that it’s helping. It kneads on you to find comfort. It shares its body warmth with you in the cold and gives you your space in the heat. It hisses at other mammals it sees outside including other cats in an effort to protect its family.
Cats love you so so much. But they will keep trying to eat plastic.

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Today's Seal Is: Making Contact With An Unknown Beast
I have never seen "wtf" so clearly expressed on an animals face
He looks so fucking upset I can't breathe
Not socialist in a “I won’t have to work” type of way but socialist in a “I’ll still be working but I won’t be worried I won’t make the rent” type of way. In a “billions won’t be hoarded by one person” type of way. In a “janitors, fast-food workers, child care workers, preschool teachers, hotel clerks, personal care and home health aides, and grocery store cashiers, will live comfortably” type of way. In a “the sick and elderly will be cared for” type of way. In a “no child should work” type of way.
why risk your safety and freedom by asking them to identify themselves? if you're considering calling police anyway, just tell them a group of masked men with guns are threatening people, give a very detailed description of the nazi assholes and let the fascists fight it out between themselves

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I have some news for members of the united states armed forces who feel like they are pawns in a political game and their assignments being unnecessary.
Are you in the military or thinking about joining? Are you unsure of where to get reliable answers? Call the GI Rights Hotline at 1-877-447-
Maybe spread this link compassionately in online spaces where these people might see it. This is extremely important.
I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead now?’ question when I was talking about historical figures. So I was just like ‘Yes, they’re dead now, everyone who was alive in the 1800s is dead now.’ and then one kid was like ‘Except for you’.
I’m sorry to hear about your scalp.
Okay I must clear this up more concretely since this has gone far beyond my circle of folks who have the context of Why This Is Actually Funny, because there are thousands of people here who are like ‘kids are so rude, kids are so evil, I hate kids’ when…
1) Kids are little humans and they’re learning and they should be treated as little humans who are learning. Don’t be a dick to kids. Adults who are assholes to kids is such a bad look, and kids remember that shit.
2) This particular child was being SO earnest and ‘except for you’ was said not as an insult but like ‘oh…you’re the last one left 😢’.
I dress like this everyone:
[ID: image of a person wearing a puffy 18th century shirt, waistcoat, and cravat.]
Thank u, goodnight.
Discussing baby’s future
They are both doing the "I want" chitter. They very much want to get up, but they have a sleeping baby cuddling with them. They must endure, but they will not be silent about it
Well well well, kitties. Looks like you want to get up but there's a little cat on you so you can't. Very frustrating situation there, can't imagine the burden of being held down by a little adorable kittycat. Couldn't, as the kids say, be me.
When you trapped under a cat and you are a cat urself :D

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By Ed Himelblau
So I had to return a book to the library today and I came straight from the horse farm. I went to the front desk because it was an item on loan from another library and I wasn’t sure if it had to be checked in differently. The librarian said no, it could get returned in the normal slot but she could take it and check it in right away.
It was only when I got back to the car that I realized I had walked into the library covered in dirt from head to toe and handed back a book about grave robbing.
I guarantee you that was the highlight of their day.