Everything I do is an affront to the gods who have forsaken me

Translating this into tumblr's preferred public service announcement format for this kind of alert:

Or this preferred Tumblr announcement system:

The first fish to ever break the water surface to briefly come to land for just a moment or two at a time, and then popping back in, gradually spending longer and longer on land and therefore starting the process of becoming land animals, didn't do it in search of new territory or potential food sources - they mainly did so in order to avoid another fish they owed money.

hearing anything about the nolan odyssey is so funny. it's like "they cut the extremely important and infamous nobody scene" "the cyclops is a giant puppet that they put in an actual historical cave + gave circe animatronics for her pig transformation instead of cgi" "they dumped plastic skeletons in an environmentally protected location they were not supposed to be in" "they recreated ancient greek instruments in order to have an accurate score" "all of odysseus's agency is basically gone" "anne hathaway actually learned how to weave ancient looms" "the women in this movie are treated like shit" "they actually buried actors alive to get those underworld shots" "did you see what the fuck zendaya was fucking wearing holy shit you can't DO THAT, MA'AM" "what do you mean there was a legitimate epic the musical reference" "NOT A SINGLE FUCKING GREEK WAS CAST IN THIS MOVIE"

I swear to fucking god. I would claw out OneDrive from my computer if I could. I would burn down their servers if I could. I would run down their stocks to the ground if I could. I hope every single one of their workers gets a better offer from a competitor in the next 24 hours. I hope every single one of their light bulbs explodes at the same time. I hope every single carton of milk in their fridge will always be expired.

Friend, I have news you're gonna love. Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.

Why the fuck are you 30+ on tumblr