Everything I do is an affront to the gods who have forsaken me

If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people

accidentally wrote “never mill yourself” like yeah i don’t think anyone would do that unless they’re wheat or perhaps a rice

steam repeatedly notifying you that a friend is booting up a game thats clearly not cooperating feels like ur sitting inside and someone outside keeps trying to rev up a lawnmower

cream cheese bagel ending explained

cream cheese bagel ending explained explained

incredibly minor but still dumb side effect of late stage capitalism: ever notice how so many concert venues and stadiums just have the lamest names imaginable. Like ooooh Lady Gaga is playing at the..... Mortgage Stadium? Oh boy the finals are at the.... Chase Bank arena. Can't wait to catch a game at the Garunteed Rate field.

It's even better when it's medical facilities. Having a heart attack? Just tell the ambulance to take you to the Home Depot Emergency Department at the NYU Langone hospital.

does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it

I'm glad everyone is alive rn

well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better

[Image ID: Tumblr tag from hotTubSharts reading: and then maybe she'll wake you again at 6 to the sound of her puking on the floor. maybe /End ID]

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

Die temu ad die

Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.

Accidental latin is my new favourite thing.

@theshitpostcalligrapher

Agree, @qqueenofhades, except on the matter of breaking “die ad die” apart. It’s a common structure in poetic and oratorical Latin to jam one phrase in the middle of another. I can’t think of an example exactly parallel to this construction, but I could believe a Roman poet would write it!

....oh my god. You might be a genius. Because what else does Tumblr do but daily disgrace [itself, oneself, and/or numerous others] in the manner of the day, and make numerous scribal errors.

how dare you say we error on the scribes

this is what happens when you buy your latin on temu

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers