Fiddly squiddly sticks

"let men be friends" no they have to fuck each other raw

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

So one of my cats is named Castiel. And everyone at our vet clinic says it wrong, like Casteel. Except for one vet tech, who called me up for our appointment and pronounced his name perfectly. We locked eyes, and in that brief moment we came to a silent agreement to say absolutely nothing.

coming out of my cage and i been doing just bad. going back in my cage because i like my cage

literally the reason online discourse is Like That is cuz ppl havent found real problems yet

when ur pushing 30 and renting an apartment and reckoning with your health and future prospects ppl drawing pokemon porn becomes a lot less pressing of an issue

I’ve had a tumblr for 4 years what the fuck am I doing with my life 

chuckles darkly

If bat mans parents died…. how was he born?

alfred

the most annoying people are people who don't understand storytelling. they be like "oooo how convenient that this thing happened to the main character in the very beginning". yeah no shit. that's why the story begins here

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆