Spooky Bartender

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

You should be able to sort by controversial on ao3

genuinely i don’t think any fictional character fits the description of “fuckass cat” better than meowth

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

if you dont have a fursona at this point youre just being unprofessional

I bet queerbaiting feels so good. it’s a shame I’ve already established myself as a lesbian who writes gay shit because I’m just imagining the high I would get from writing something where my audience has no expectation of anything more queer than the barest of crumbs, like the real top shelf queerbaity stuff, give them no faith that I’d ever follow through but also give them plenty of material to imagine, and then slap them in the face with the queerest faggiest ending they’ve ever seen. Make my straight fans look like absolute clown shoes. I think the rush I’d get from doing this would be so intensely addicting that it would briefly fix everything wrong with me but since this is a stunt you’d only ever be able to pull off once I would immediately go into cardiac arrest and die

Vote for me and I will make werewolves real

Top scientists wil work hard round the clock to make it a reality

Bottom scientists as well

pomegranates are so damn difficult to eat like could you be less of a metaphor and more of a fruit for a second im trying to have a snack