333 (COMMISSIONS OPEN)

i know ppl say "u couldn't pay me to relive _insert year here_" too often but genuinely in the nicest way possible, i would rather be in the ground than be put through 2025 again. some objectively nice things happened. i got my degree, moved out to live on my own, worked on plenty of book covers, traveled abroad for a literary competition, got hired (in a copletely unrelated field. lol) etc etc. but aside from the sucesses that kind of feel like obligations either way, this whole year just felt like one gigantic step back. major identity losses and weird health issues. couldn't leave my house for about a week straight that one time in winter. very very difficult to navigate creating things when very basic existential/economic things are under a big question mark. most of those have been solved now, and im still trying to accept the fact that things aren't in a nosedive currently. which is a bit hard. i think its just difficult to reckon with the fact that some people are destined to maybe not be very happy in life. i considered making some art about That. but in the end just leaving it alone felt right. i don't know what kind of changes i'll have to make in the new year for anything to feel good again. art feels good. i want to continue making art, but time is so very tight. i have to learn how to navigate that now. going into 2026 very scared and tired. tired of being tired. i just hope i can make all the art i can as well as i can. if i know one thing is worth it, it's that