Sploosh Master Casper

Me: What?

Someone: Wha-

Me: Hey hon, where is the tv remote? Him: What?? Me: *silence* Him: I left it on the couch. 

Or 

Me: Hey hon, where is the tv remote?  Him: What? Me: *silence* Him: Ok, I really didn’t hear you that time, what did you say? Me: *repeats question*

PLEASE

This is my bread recipe, it’s easy as feck.

500g strong white bread flour (brown or granary works fine too)

8g of dried yeast(one sachet)

2 teaspoons of sea salt

50ml olive oil

300ml warm water. (you should be able to put a finger in the water and leave it there, like a baby’s bath)

mix yeast salt and flour together in a large bowl.

pour in water and olive oil.

stir until dough is formed.

flour hands and work surface, beat the shit outta that dough for about ten minutes.

dust bowl with flour and return dough to it, cover that shit up, cling film or a clean tea towel.

stick that dough some where warm for an hour, it should double in size.

beat dough up for another 10 minutes, shape into loaf or place into suitable tin (tip line tin with baking paper and dust with flour)

put back in the warm to rise for another hour.

pre-heat oven to 220/ fan 200C.

cook loaf for 25-30 minutes. when it sounds hollow its cooked. 

easy bread is easy, also cheap i can get three loaves out of a 1.5kg bag of flour, costs about 0.75p per loaf.

this recipe is an excellent base, just chuck what shit you want in before you add the water and oil (herbs/cheese/whatever) 

• Plant bee safe plants in your gardens. Make sure not to use chemicals, they can negatively affect bees.

• Some good bee plants are: lilacs, penstemon, lavender, sage, verbena, and wisteria. You can also check out sites online that have information about pollinator safe plants.

• Clover and dandelions are havens for your little bee friends. let your lawn, garden, yard live a little.

• Bees can actually become thirsty too! Leave out bird bath sized containers for them to drink out of. A nice touch is put little stones that they can crawl onto, it’ll save them from drowning. The bees will most likely appreciate this.

It’s time to get naked, eat spicy food, and light shit on fire! WHOOOO!