This is my side blog for AO3 fics I'm writing, reading, or recommending and general writing related content I find helpful or interesting. It's currently going to be almost entirely Clexa because that's my current obsession, but other femslash ships may sneak in occasionally.
I'm on AO3 at SpenceWrites and my main blog is @suspenceandsuffering
Feel free to reach out! Always willing to chat, frequently willing to beta, and almost constantly bored
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I have decided to make a Ko-Fi not only as a virtual tipping jar but with the membership, also as a way to force myself to put out something monthly be it writing or art for you guys!
There I'll be posting early unedited chapters, extra scenes (that can or not be released later) and ko-fi exclusive sketchbook doodles of clexa shenanigans!
I have decided to make a Ko-Fi not only as a virtual tipping jar but with the membership, also as a way to force myself to put out something monthly be it writing or art for you guys!
There I'll be posting early unedited chapters, extra scenes (that can or not be released later) and ko-fi exclusive sketchbook doodles of clexa shenanigans!
Clarke and Lexa buy their first Christmas tree as a couple and decorate it together
HI! A year later, here I am!
Merry Clexmas kru, this is a continuation of one of last year's little snippets, I bring to you this time: for Clexamas25 Day 1 Home for the Holidays
Mid-Life Christmas
Clarke and Lexa met a year ago, gift hunting for the last gift in the list for the same triplets. A love 15 years in the making that feels so natural to slip into... enjoy 🤭
A year went by in the blink of an eye. Christmas came and went with bitten smiles and texts they just couldn't stop sending.
January was a haste of work trips, more texts, and dates at odd times and odd days. Kisses that felt both forbidden and meant to be at the same time, late nights sweating and talking and laughing, and mornings that could be as lazy as they could be hurried.
It took half of February for Clarke to face Octavia, a light argument of "Fifteen years?! Blake!" vs "A lifetime of your stubbornness, Griffin!" settled over laughs and grumbles and a few too many glasses of wine that got her confessing more than she was planning to say so soon.
Spring and Summer were work trips turned small vacations for one or the other and weekends spent with their friends and nephews pretending like they were all just friends.
The fall brought comfort of a well know changing schedule, afternoons spent cozied up under blankets that could be their own as much as they could belong to hotel rooms. Clarke's 42nd birthday and a "Bitch just kiss your girl, we all know what's going on!" followed by Lexa’s casual "I haven't spent more than a day in a row in my place for the past three months" turned into Lexa moving in with her and their relationship truly settling for them both.
And now it was winter again, December 22nd again and here they were, right where it all began, having learned nothing about not shopping so close to Christmas.
This time though, they already had all their gifts selected and wrapped, it somehow hadn’t occurred to them that they would be missing the most important decoration of this festivity. They really thought that with both their decorations combined they would be settled for a perfect winter wonderland at home.
After a moving in that took an entire month with both of their busy schedules, and a decoration date that turned into a whole three weeks of setting everything up off and on, Lexa didn’t think to mention that her tree was a 6ft tall unidimensional frame where she hung her ornaments, and Clarke completely forgot that her ancient 3ft tall tree had been taken away by her mother after finally moving back to Clarke’s childhood home.
So, when all the holiday decorations were finally up, and they were officially free from work, the tree boxes still full of ornaments looked out of place in a corner of the room where they finally noticed with laughs that took their breath away, that they were missing a Christmas tree.
They had decided on the spot that they would get ready and head out to get one. They took their time getting ready, taking a shower together that definitely slowed them down when they got sidetracked, but eventually they were presentable enough to go shopping.
The discussion starts way before they see their options. They both agree that they need a fake tree, one they can re-use for years to come and Clarke knows the good quality brands. The problem starts when Lexa says she wants a 6ft tall tree… and Clarke wants a copy of her 3ft tall one.
They enter the store laughing at each other’s arguments and tugging at each other to get the other to listen to them.
“Clarke, we have three boxes worth of ornaments, we can’t get a small tree!”
“We’re not gonna be using all of them though”
“Obviously, not everything is going to match-”
“Obviously, since yours are so flat”
“They’re not!” Lexa gasps, stopping her steps “They’re elegant!” she scoffs, and allows Clarke to tug her forward as they continue looking for the right aisle.
“They’re flat. Boring even” Clarke says as she turns to face her, planting herself in front of Lexa and getting a growled kiss for it “but it’s fine, you didn’t know me then, you couldn't have known how to have taste”
Lexa gasps against her lips and kisses her strongly to stop Clarke’s giggles.
“That is wild coming from someone whose entire mug collection can’t match a single pair”
“Hey! We’re talking about Christmas décor, not kitchen clutter”
It’s Lexa’s time to giggle, and with another kiss, it’s also her time to tug Clarke to keep walking.
“Listen, all I’m saying is that one day, not too far from now, we won’t be able to bend down to place ornaments. We can't have a tree that can't be on a table. We need to think of our future!”
“We can get a 5ft tree” Lexa suggest “that can be placed in a short table, later in life”
“Lexa! 5ft tree on a 3ft table is 8ft tall! We won't be able to reach that!” Clarke laughs as they near the tree section.
“Chairs exist!” Lexa shrugs “And ladders, and tables… Not to mention, we're only 40-
“42”
“We're healthy! And athletic-
“We're not athletic” Clarke snorts followed by giggles she can’t stop.
“I run everyday”
“You don't run- everyday”
“I run” Lexa corrects mid-sentence as she turns to level Clarke with a look that lacks seriousness “And my point stands” She says as her arms loop over Clarke’s shoulder, and she’s pulled closer by hands that round her hips and rest dangerously close to her butt. “We're healthy, our knees will be fine in the close years to come. We can get a tree that starts a foot from the floor”
Clarke kisses her then and Lexa can feel the frown she didn’t know she was carrying lift from her eyebrows. They kiss for a hot minute, forgetting they’re in the middle of the store for what feels like only a few seconds.
“I'm going to settle it at 4 feet” Clarke says against her lips once they part with dizzy smiles, she pairs it with a stubborn scrunch of her nose.
“Claaarke” Lexa groans with half a laugh, throwing her head back and rolling it back down with a whine “four is so small”
“Baby” Clarke tasks, her lips ghosting over hers “I know you like lengths of 8…" one singular raised eyebrow marks her point as she whispers "but 4 is a perfectly reasonable size"
With a wink and a soft peck to her lips, Clarke untangles herself from Lexa's arms and turns away in search of her selected tree.
Lexa is too stunned to do anything more than stand there with a shocked open mouth grin on her face.
“Look! This is one is perfect, it's not even too bushy”
Shaking her head, Lexa follows Clarke and loops her arms around her waist from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder and pouting even though Clarke can’t see it.
“My sexual preferences aside…” she starts, making Clarke giggle as she leans back into her arms “we really won’t be able to fit half of all our ornaments there”
“Half our ornaments -aka mine- fit on a tree smaller than this one”
“Babe do the math” Lexa tsks “A 3ft tall tree holds 1 box of them, and a 6ft tall, unidimensional one holds 2 of them; we need at least a 5ft tall, tridimensional tree”
“What math even is that?!” Clarke gasps out a laugh as she turns her head to look at Lexa.
“6ft in 3D is 2, plus another 3ft; 5ft” Lexa shrugs, but Clarke keeps frowning with another snort “Just-” Lexa kisses her side of her head and whispers into Clarke’s ear “trust me, okay?”
She kisses under Clarke’s earlobe, making her girlfriend shiver. Clarke turns in her arms with a sultry look and leans in to whisper into her ear.
“Keep talking to me like that, and kissing me in the right spots, and you might convince me”
They giggle as Clarke slips away and hops joyfully in search of a new option; Lexa follows with greedy hands that grab at Clarke’s hips to keep her close as they penguin-walk their way through the trees.
It takes Lexa a few more kisses and giggles to convince Clarke to go bigger, and it takes Clarke a single dirty sentence to convince Lexa that they don’t need anymore height for their tree. They settle at 4 feet and 6 inches, they pick a nice tree of a quality Clarke approves and a price neither find outrageous. They fit it in the back seat of Clarke’s jeep and take it home before the sun is down.
Assembling the tree consists of Clarke continuously telling Lexa that she knows what she’s doing and they don’t need instructions, until Lexa gives up on handing Clarke pieces she asks for -but clearly doesn't know what to do with- and decides to get hot chocolate as she lets her girlfriend figure it out.
They sit on the couch considering their mixed ornaments once Clarke’s done -and Lexa has mocked her for taking twice the time the instructions said she would- They tell each other stories about how they got each one, and make up stories about those they want to keep but the other wants to throw away.
“It has sentimental value!”
“Bullshit! You’ve never been to Canada!”
“Well no, but… I should get points for creativity”
Between laughs, tickles, wandering hands and warm kisses, they agree on a selection and start hanging them on their new tree. With more laughs, bumping hips and even more kisses they contest for the better -and worse- spots for their ornaments.
A few hours later, they lay under the tree, sweaty and spent, laughing and still kissing after successfully finishing their Christmas decorations.
“Told you it’d look holy from down here” Clarke hushes against the skin of Lexa’s neck.
“Not that our backs are thanking us for it” Lexa snorts but does nothing to move from their spot.
“Your back, I’m fine”
“Because you were on top the entire time! I hope your knees make you regret it tomorrow”
“I don’t think you want me to regret it, Woods” Lexa hums a giggle in agreement and they pull each other impossibly closer, enjoying the warmth of their bodies together.
“However,…” Clarke continues “If I were to regret it, that would mean I was right for wanting to get a table tree”
Lexa laughs loudly at that, squeezing Clarke’s sides.
“We would’ve probably ended up down here either way”
“Mmmhmm” Clarke giggles as she lifts her head from Lexa’s shoulder “Yeah, probably. No one should look that sexy in a silly sweater”
“I agree” Lexa smirks “You should be arrested for that crime” She whispers, scrunching up her nose with a smile.
Clarke giggles, imitating the face and bumping her nose with hers before kissing her.
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Anything new bouncing around your head for your lonely cove au? It's cold and foggy where I am and it's giving the vibe
It is very windy and rainy here today so we are definitely in the right vibe for lonely cove here too 🙂↕️
(Also I did a very rough island map if you guys wanna see, let me know, I might need to do some adjustments to it)
Clarke's first storm on the island.
Now everyone in the island is used to heavy rains and dulls skies. Its part of living here. Waves as big as houses crashing against the cliffs, the desperate calls of seaguls warning of worse weather ahead.
At this point Clarke has lived through a big storm out at sea, she has feared for her life on a massive ship as it swayed on open see, waves bringing it up and down again. She knows what being in the eye of the storm means.
A storm in the island however... it feels like watching nature out on a show. From Lexa’s open bedroom window, the fire cackling behind her, a massive blanket around her and tea in hand, Clarke marvels at the spectacle in front of her. And then, at the marvel beside her. Wearing nothing but Clarke knitted sweater and warm socks, Lexa’s hair blow softly with the wind outside.
You see, Clarke was raised in the city life. Sometimes she fears she looks it far too much for this small island folk, who treat her kindly but always with the assumption she knows nothing of what she is being told. Lexa however... she looks every bit the island she calls home. She is the lighthouse Clarke looks forward to in the fog of months at sea, the warmth of the fireplace, the constant of a town who seems some times stuck, so little changing in the past 6 years. And at the same time, she is the storm outside. Her eyes, the same sea foam green the ocean turns, her hair free and sea salt coated. She is the wind, the wave and the strength of mother nature herself, and no matter how hard Clarke tries, it seems she will never be able to catch her, always fleeting after too little time together.
"You're staring." Lexa looks ahead. She does not smile but her face is serenity agaisnt the strength of the storm outside. This is her peace.
When a response does not come, Clarke places her mug on the windowsill, arm quickly pulling Lexa towards her. Her lips taste like the ferocity of sea water and the calmness of chamomile and honey.
With the storm raging behind her, Clarke is deliberate with her tongue, her stripped knitted shirt raised above Lexa’s chest as she kneads the softness of her breasts, her heavy breathing missing with the whistles of the wind outside, Clarke's tongue moving at the rhythm of the waves, Lexa looking down at her in the low light of the morning and the candles burning beside them.
Clarke may not be able to catch a storm with her bare hands, but as Lexa comes undone underneath her with the clash of a wave that reaches just below the window, she feels as if this is the closest she'll ever come to tasting it and holding it for just a moment.
Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
Odysseus: Regret it why?
Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.
Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in.
*A couple of months later*
Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit.
Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure.
having chronic pain is just like. ur sitting perfectly still doing nothing meanwhile the space above your head keeps flashing -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp
eating would be fine if it was only a recreational activity. instead, its a horrible sisiphean nightmare and you need to do it every day without fail on threat of pain and death
Lexa has heard the rumors about masc! Clarke's prowess in the bedroom. She knows she shouldn't hook up with Clarke and become another notch on her bedpost. However the way Clarke is looking at her across the room leaves her panties drenched. Lexa should walk away but she's drawn to Clarke. What's the worse that could happen after a one night stand? Well Lexa gets her answer when she misses her period after a few weeks and sees the two lines on the pregnancy test. How will she tell Clarke?
A pleasure to have in class. Straight As valedictorian, college schoolar ship full ride, graduated with honors. Never smoked, waited until 21 to drink, not a single ticket under her name.
Lexa has done just about everything by the book her entire fucking life. A secret jealousy for those who seemed to wing at life and still make it while she walked around with 2 different planners in her purse and a sense of constantly missing out on life.
And Clarke.... Clarke is a friend to some degree. A friend of a friend of a friend. They've hang out many times, Lexa has listened to her wild stories of sex just about anywhere, pretending not to feel the wetness pull between her legs at the way Clarke and the people in the group talked about the woman in bed, the size of her member, just how good she can make anyone feel with her hands, her mouth, her words, her dick. How hard it is to resist her seemingly. The tossed messy blonde bob, the baggy jeans matched with a too tight t-shirt that seems so effortless while fitting her as if it was tailored made.
She is everything Lexa is not. Spontaneous and reckless, a heart of gold and a mind of a whore it seems. There is but a handful of people that have not fallen for Clarke's easy flirting and sarcastic humor. Lexa has been advised to avoid her, how she is good at what she does but she is also great at breaking hearts. And Lexa is far too good and too vanilla to need to experience that.
The forbidden fruit is always the sweetest isn't it?
Lexa made sure to stay away. Polite smiles and nods, superficial conversations that always disappeared the moment more people arrived. But her car broke down in a neighborhood she always drives slightly faster in and Clarke is the only person available to pick her up.
"Just a quick dinner with me Lexa. I promise I don't bite"
Oh, how the snake spews out lines that sound like honey. Dinner became wine and wine tasted so much better from Clarke’s lips than it did on the glass, the crimson more delicious on soft lips.
Clarke's bed is much softer than hers as ever been, a mattress meant for pleasing rather than a doctor recommend, posture correcting one. Her mouth is devious indeed, leaving marks of her sin all over Lexa, her chest quickly painted over in shades of purple, matching the hand prints that adorn her thighs and ass.
Sweet in her praises and ruthless in her fucking, Lexa understands now fully why this is the high of pleasure for so many and why Clarke's remains undefeated at the top of everyone's list. Each thrust sends Lexa closer to heaven, Clarke's mouth tracing her ear as she whispers the more angelic things is the most devilish tone.
Naked in bed alone, the sun pooling in from outside. The smell of coffee and sex in the air.
"You're car is ready for pick up." Her voice is soft and gentle, but there is a rush behind it, as if Lexa as overstayed her welcome.
She nods and stares at her with pleading eyes. Perhaps she can be different? Clarke hesitates with a kiss on her temple and a brush of Lexa’s hair.
"You knew what this was Lexa. You know how I roll. I like you. Don't make this harder."
Her apartment feels too empty when she enter it again. So does her heart. And so does her cunt.
"Im not going tonight, Anya."
"Again? This is the fifth time! I thought you enjoyed hanging out with us."
"I do." Lexa can barely speak too much. Between the idea of looking at Clarke again and the stomach bug she caught, she'd rather stay at home and perhaps open a Bible than going out with the usual group.
"I'm gonna kill her."
"Anya, don't." Its all she manages to say before she feels her dinner come up again.
The first time she had sex she was 22 and had been dating her then girlfriend for nearly a year. She loved her with all her heart. She has always been firm on finding someone she loves, date for 5 years, engages for 2, married for 3 and then children.
She did not think she'd be 33 and looking down at a positive pregnancy test from a one night stand from a girl who would rather learn to suck her own dick before she committed to anything.
"It's not mine." Deafeated and accusatory, as if Clarke thinks if she believes it enough, than it becomes truth.
"Who else's could it be Clarke?" Lexa's voice is tired. She waited three weeks to tell her. Too far along now to end it. Far along enough where the 9 week ultrasound stares back at her like a reminder of her mistake to sleep with a woman who can barely commit to a girlfriend, much less a baby.
Clarke stares at her. There is fear in her eyes, Lexa knows her reflect it too. What the fuck did they get themselves into?
"I dont think I can- a baby is just..." too much commitment. Lexa knows. Oh she is very aware, she has run the numbers, checked pre-schools waiting lists, searched for what schools her address could get this baby into. And what Clarke's address could too. But this wasn't what she had planned for herself either.
"I've made my choice Clarke. Now you have to make yours."
She watches Clarke pick up the ultrasound, as if it looks like much of anything at all. Lexa felt the same. A strange attachment for something she hoped wasn't there.
"What if I am terrible at it? What if I try and I disappoint you both?" Lexa has never seen Clarke look so small. Behind the veil of confidence there seems to be someone deeply afraid of being a disappointment.
Maybe they are more alike than Lexa thought.
The first appointment with them both present feels strange. Barely friends, far from lovers, and both waiting to see their child. Clarke agreed to do this with her, but Lexa can still see the cracks of doubt behind her courage.
She has slept with five more people since they found out. Raven whispers to her its how she's trying to cope, find some sense of her new normal. Lexa shouldn't feel jealous of possessive but carrying Clarke's child seems to have made her crave the woman triple. She understands it now, the way a smile and a fuck can ruin anyone else for her.
"There they are."
Clarke cries. Lexa smiles. The way their hands find one another feels almost desperate, eyes locking as soon as they turn to face one another.
They sleep together again that week.
For the first time since they met, Raven doesn't hear about a new girl for months, instead, she hears the repeat about the same girl over and over again.
Lexa isn't sure how it happens. When Clarke mellows down and seems to no longer fear touching her. Maybe about the same time Lexa stops fearing touching her back. Calling each other girlfriends feels strange given their predicament. Lexa fears putting such a label will cause Clarke to flee. But when it escapes Lexa one day at the supermarket, Clarke simple caresses her bump and smiles.
She still fucks as well as she did. If anything, her dick feels even better now, her hands more gentle on her, her mouth never less desperate to mark.
She still wakes up to coffee and a temple kiss. No longer made to leave with the shame of being one more conquest, Lexa gets to enjoy back rubs and pets. They don't say I love, they dont use pet names. But deep down Lexa knows this feels more real than any of her 5 years of dating before marriage fantasies.
He is born early. So little. Clarke holds him as Lexa is allowed a rest.
Her apartment has been sold. Clarke broke her lease. The house right outside the city center is not what either of them dreamed but it has a brand new nursery and a porch swing. A mess of Clarke's records and art supplies that Lexa didnt even know she had and Lexa’s ethnic sculptures and thrifted paintings. Today they will bring their son home, and Clarke will cry on Lexa’s shoulder about how much she loves him and how thankful she is that she decided to do this. Lexa will whisper about how terrified she was the entire time, how the idea of one day waking up and Clarke being gone haunted her.
Aden is five when Clarke proposes. Seven by the time they marry. At ten he becomes a big brother.
Clarke still boasts about her prowess in bed, although now she always has Lexa to keep her humble when she says something that isnt quite true, although she cannot deny her wife can still get her wet with a simple look, and bring her to orgasm with a soft i love you.
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On the weekend of the 20th-21st of December, we celebrate dom!Clarke/sub!Lexa as an early holiday gift!
Fics, one-shots, moodboards, fan art and reccomendations are all welcomed!
Mix and match the themes or add your own with the free space option! Let your imagination flow!
Adding a quick (kink + object + place) to the post with your participation will make searching easier!
Tag #domclarkesublexawknd (or @wanhedasdaggerweek) for easier access to fics and easy reblog for us!
Despite this event being hosted on the Wanheda's Dagger Week blog, there are no rules about g!p or not as long as Clarke is the dom and Lexa is the sub!
Don't forget to comment and reblog! Keep the fandom alive!
Saw your post about lonely cove and how Clarke hasn't been home since the broken engagement. Have you already explained the backstory there? Who was her ex? What happened?
In the story it'll be developed more but I have mentioned that Clarke was in her last years of med school and engaged when she got the news she was infertile. As an intersex woman Clarke always knew conceiving would be hard and her and her fiancé were prepared for maybe IFV but learning she could not have kids at all, it shook Clarke a lot. She wanted kids and so did her bride (Im assuming its Niylah but she will remain nameless really). And for the first time Clarke was confronted with something that made her feel unworthy of the woman she loved... except she never really gave her a chance to say her peace about. Clarke will learn about 7 years into this new life of hers that her ex ended up marrying and having children, 2 of which are step children. Clarke is happy for her. She got the life she deserved.
Its a story she only manages to share with Lexa (or a part of it) when she is drunk and after a few years of knowing each other. It was a decision she regrets yet it brought her to Lexa at the end of the day. And then Lexa has her own secret of the daughter she gave up and how it feels almost twisted that Clarke wanted a child and she couldn't have it while Lexa didnt want one and ended up having ine she gave away. It eats at her for a while tbh.
Don't know if you've talked about this, but do lonely cove Clexa spend any Christmases together?
I was actually looking at the timeline I made just yesterday to try and prep to do some writing so this is fresh in my mind!
They spend the time near Christmas together around year 8.
Clarke hasn't spend Christmas with her family since she got this job by her own decision. The broken engagement she left behind means Christmas feels like a reminder of what she could have had if she had stayed and she does not have a desire for that. She likes it on the ship. They drink, they have a meal, they sing Christmas carols and then she goes to sleep, no presents to open or family to disappoint.
Lexa spends her Christmases alone, just her and the sea. She enjoys calm walk through the town, watching the lights. The lady at fhe tavern always cooks her something for her to have. It feels lonely. Exactly how she expects it and how she wants it. Her dad no longer calls her to try and get her to spend Christmas with him and she always texts her cousin to wish her, her husband and their daughter a happy Christmas, always waiting a couple of days before she looks at the pictures of the little girl she gave birth to in the pictures and realizing how much she has grown.
This is the first year where Clarke's visit lands this close to Christmas tho, usually the ship leaving around the time they arrive. Its 4 days til Christmas when they leave and the first time Lexa’s Christmas feels sadder than usual. Maybe its because Clarke insisted she put up a Christmas tree or because they decorated her small quarters together. They watched old Christmas movies together in Lexa's old tv curled up under a blanket and Lexa took Clarke to town so they could watch the lights. Its the closest to a real Christmas both had in the better part of half a decade. It's cozy and comforting and when Clarke kisses Lexa goodbye , it feels harder for her to let go this time around. If Lexa were to ask, Clarke would stay. But she doesn't. So Clarke leaves.
This is broadly good advice, but I actually disagree with #3.
What people write and what they like to read may have less overlap than you would think. I frequently find, looking into the bookmarks of an author I like, that their taste covers another area entirely.
No, what you want to look for are the favorites/bookmarks of other readers of this author's fic. Especially if you can find regular commenters.
Your best shot, in my experience, is to check near the top of the fic, under the header, and see if anyone else has added this fic to a collection. That's when you've hit the jackpot, because you have found a fan who likes to curate bookmarks, and they like the same things you like.
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