Yearning Heda

She's dating Finn who suddenly turns out dead and Clarke decides to investigate it only to find out the girl she considers her "platonic" soulmate killed him

Thing is, Lexa needs the blood. And although they have been friend since they were like 11, Lexa actually doesnt know Clarke is trans which means demon rule wise she *could* just feed from Clarke to keep alive...

Lexa is nicer to Clarke than Jennifer to Neddy, she is always saying how cute she is and how smart but she is also BIG jealous of Finn who by high school standards is a pretty nice boyfriend, although he keeps being a little pushy about sex and Clarke hasn't told him she's trans so she feels a little pressured and Lexa "makes fun" of her for not going all the way but only because she is quite jealous and calls Clarke a slut when she tells her she has let Finn feel up her chest as if Lexa hasn't been eaten out in one of the school bathrooms by a senior girl in her sophomore year

Clarke does have a unhealthy attachment and obsession with Lexa. Which Finn really dislikes because 1. Lexa is known for "turning girls gay" , 2. She is pretty much a bitch to anyone who isnt Clarke and 3. She is well known for hating men, and Finn is no different

I think at this point, Finn does like Clarke more than Clarke likes him. Like he is in love and Clarke was but is clearly falling out of

Im glad you liked it ☺️

Lexa is in love with Clarke always has been, Clarke doesn’t love her

Years go by, she’s heard about Clarkes lovers she’s knows Clarke doesn’t love her

Clarke realises she loves Lexa, Lexa doesn’t love Clarke anymore

While not where that fic is headed at all, can you imagine? 👀

They are an arranged marriage. Clarke is perfectly sweet with Lexa, she isn't rude nor a bad wife. However Lexa knows Clarke does not love. Lexa however has been in love with Clarke for as long as she's known love. And she thought she could handle a marriage like this, after all, it is important for both of their families and she does love Clarke enough to over look her lack of love towards her. They are friends and Clarke can so easily read through her, see her soul in a way no one else can and perhaps there is a promise there, of maybe one day, love can be a possibility.

But soon friendship does not make the marriage feel less lonely. Does not permit Lexa to close her eyes to the lovers Clarke takes despite their marriage vows, something at first Lexa almost encouraged, thinking perhaps she'd go and realize Lexa was everything she wanted when others couldn't be exactly who she wanted them to be. Clarke is wonderful in bed but she is unable to make Lexa feel loved like one is supposed to in a marriage. Just an act to please them both.

They are young, and so Lexa apologizies to Clarke and her family but she simply cannot stay with her.

And Clarke feels this emptiness now that she is gone. Like the house is haunted by someone who is still alive. However free as she is now from her marriage, Clarke lives her bachelor life for a couple of years, to try and fill the house with parties and music and sex, as if it will quiet the ghost of the woman she never could say she loved and somehow was perhaps the closest person to her, as she knows she was to her.

She finds her once more at a ball. Rare always was for Lexa to attend these. And yet the moment Clarke sees her, its like her heart mends, like the ghost is alive once more.

Should she not run to her and confess her love? Beg her to take her back, rekindle their marriage and allow Clarke to devote herself to her like she should have the first time around.

Lexa was everything Clarke could have wanted. A companion who always listened to her hurts and taught Clarke to be the woman so many praise her for being. Intelligent and wise, with a dry humor that matched Clarke's own so much. Were they not a match made in heaven? Were they not meant to be?

And then Lexa turns to the side. The swell of her stomach rather obvious even with the dress that flows around her. A ring that shines on her finger and the arm of a woman who wraps around her waist in a way Clarke only ever did briefly before she ran away to someone she thought more deserving of her attention than her wife.

Lexa stares at the woman she once loved across the room. She looks tired, haunted. Despite everything, Lexa hopes is not her own ghost that stares back anytime Clarke looks in the mirror. She loved her once. Cared for her heart more than she did her own. She hopes she is well. Her heart belongs to Costia now and the child they have created and will soon be here. She wishes to Clarke no ill.