Why not?

My favorite art is first sentences of scientific papers, I love reading sentences like "movement is of integral importance to animals" or "snow has long been recognised for its ecological importance" fuck yes so truee

if you want me to consume a new media you MUST catch me at the exact moment when the stars are aligned and the air pressure is equal to the current degree of the sun’s peak against the horizon and all the cosmic energies are perfectly unified (aka my old interest is fading out) or i will nod and say “im adding that to my list!” Knowing theres no chance i will check it out

“unless its a book!” “unless you tell me it has gay people in it!” “this but only for live action shows” “theres a good chance i’ll get to it eventually” no wrong this post is not for you this post is ONLY for bitches who could have a treasured friend recommend them something that sounds grown in a lab to be your personal catnip and, with no choice in the matter, immediately know it will never be the right time to watch/read/listen to it

Listening to Damn These Vampires and Steal Smoked Fish back to back will have you thinking such thoughts as, "I have no idea how John Darnielle feels about vampires"

heyyy so i noticed the special secret sickness is starting to eat through you. what am i supposed to do

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

I've got to find myself more macrophage

Now Hiring: macrophages

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

wait ok this is actually one that has caused some contention before when I've talked to people about it. reblog and tag whether or not you check the weather prediction every day before going out

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

I love when people try to gotcha me on my stance that all sports should be gender integrated with "even American football???" because I can instantly come back with "oh lmao, no, I don't think ANYONE should play American football at all, it's way too dangerous" like nice try but I know no amount of testosterone is going to protect you from the profound, life ruining health issues caused by getting repeated severe concussions over the course of several years. No one should play this sport.

i feel bad for bigender people, the commute between Jupiter and college has got to be rough

turns out i am gay

holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type

Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!

he was a llama

a llama?! he’s supposed to be dead!

I'm apparently so consistently aroace that a friend of mine uses me as a measurement for whether or not something counts as "romantic," based on when I stop understanding what he's talking about.

some of yall need to go back to like preschool level 'girls can do anything boys can do' feminism bc we are regressing into feminine = frivolous = weak = nurturing and masculine = power = force = competence at the speed of fucking light