Eos!!

this is seen the clearest during alluka and killua’s confrontation over nanika. the chosen phrasing of the translation is quite literally “come out”. the idea is that nanika cannot come out, or alluka will be harmed. killua thinks even if just for a moment that alluka repressing nanika could save her from the way the family treats her.

he asks her to give up a core part of herself and then alluka tells him plainly:

with this, alluka says, nanika and i are not different. i am she, and she is me. being a girl, being trans, is who alluka is. this part of herself is what allows her to live. and killua realizes—in what i interpret as a great moment of gay/trans solidarity—that the words he’s saying to alluka are the words of illumi. that illumi also “forced him to do things against his will” (i.e. repress his real self, his authentic feelings for gon).

killua’s entire needle experience sees illumi’s needle literally rearranging his priorities and emotions to downplay his loyalty to gon. people complain that the needle is a narrative copout but it’s a symbolic moment of a major step forward for killua confronting his trauma and authentic feelings. these authentic feelings that want to center gon.

but the ideas illumi implanted in killua don’t leave with the needle, because the needle doesn’t literally remove trauma. killua has to continue confronting his reality at alluka’s side through seeing himself in her. but with the both of them being free of illumi, they can be honest to themselves—about nanika and about gon. while killua and gon never exactly resolve their issues it’s very intentional killua’s realization that illumi was “still in his head” precedes him telling gon the truth about his healing. nanika is alluka’s truth and through seeing that truth killua can recognize his own. i also don’t know if illumi is really metaphorically or textually entirely queerphobic (all hisokas considered) as much as he’s possessive over killua’s existence and internalizing his parent’s possible behavior towards these concepts despite his own identity. either way, he rejects and attempts to take control of killua and alluka’s identities in a way that seeks to crush their expression.

Elle nourrit les chats errants 🫶😢🫰trop gentille

https://ko-fi.com/himewarlock

this is the third time gaza will be entering a new year under siege. the third time my friend siraj will be homeless on new year's eve. maybe there's something to be said about how the new year is supposed to represent the same new beginnings that are robbed of palestinians by the occupation. that's certainly true.

but as i said, there is nothing left to say. which means any words i could use to describe the situation would be so insufficient they'd become offensive. you don't need me to create meaning, we already know what is going on and what it means.

our lives depend on the continued suffering of palestinian people. our dollars can temporarily alleviate that suffering. there is no reason not to donate. these are the most relevant facts to us.

help my friend siraj abudayeh. his family lives on the streets, without a tent in the harsh winter flooding. he is ineligible for free aid from a lot of organizations because he has a fundraiser, but his fundraiser doesn't even provide enough for food. he's trying to fund shelter, then he'll need food and medicine. this is something we can control. we can make his life slightly easier.

who is siraj abudayeh?

donate

vetted @ 219 / 223. on tumblr @siraj0

this is the third time gaza will be entering a new year under siege. the third time my friend siraj will be homeless on new year's eve. maybe there's something to be said about how the new year is supposed to represent the same new beginnings that are robbed of palestinians by the occupation. that's certainly true.

but as i said, there is nothing left to say. which means any words i could use to describe the situation would be so insufficient they'd become offensive. you don't need me to create meaning, we already know what is going on and what it means.

our lives depend on the continued suffering of palestinian people. our dollars can temporarily alleviate that suffering. there is no reason not to donate. these are the most relevant facts to us.

help my friend siraj abudayeh. his family lives on the streets, without a tent in the harsh winter flooding. he is ineligible for free aid from a lot of organizations because he has a fundraiser, but his fundraiser doesn't even provide enough for food. he's trying to fund shelter, then he'll need food and medicine. this is something we can control. we can make his life slightly easier.

who is siraj abudayeh?

donate

vetted @ 219 / 223. on tumblr @siraj0