Dr. Bones' Office

hi yeah i know ive been on this medication for 8 years but i need-- yeah. yeah 3 more months please. I'll call you in 3 months to beg for 3 more months, thanks. Bye. Love you.

Im sorry but you need to come in person for a checkup to make sure you actually need the medication you’ve been taking for 8 years

yes it says you have been diagnosed with will-die-without-that-medication-forever problem but maybe you dont anymore even tho that one isnt curable atm so sorry that will be 300$

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related

we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system

no no, I realise it, I’m just still driving despite the check engine light being on

my super sustainable bmw

i think being proud of where you come from is one of those things that becomes fun the more specific you get. like "proud to be english" bad rancid vibes. makes you sound like the kind of person who rants about immigrants. "proud to be from yorkshire" better vibes. i cannot deny the yorkshire cultural heritage. "proud to be from pocklington" absolutely fucking hilarious please never let anybody kill your pocklington pride.

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be