still in the ocean

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

i hate it when people ask me to "explain my thought process" like hell if i know

"what's going on in that head of yours?" nothing i want to be a part of

as a feminist i support recreational abortion

i have mixed feelings about competitive

"mwahahaha" could be an evil laugh but it could also be "mwah ahaha" like someone kissing you and then laughing joyously because they love you

I've changed that was four reblogs ago

I genuinely love when a story makes up its own fable and then has current events within the story explicitly parallel the in-universe fable. The story I made up is just like the story I made up 🤯

being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

dead wife who was MEAN and slept without a TOP SHEET and only went to the beach when it was OVERCAST to SCOWL at the waves

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.