Space Oddball

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

Yeah, it's the same deal as "every border implies the violence of its maintenance". Exclusivity, either citizenship of a country or ownership of goods, can only be upheld through violence.

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggerated at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

Sometimes you get a brief glimpse into the American worldview and decide that you don't want to know.

I cannot stress enough that this meme is entirely literal. there's no reference or subtext you don't know. these are simply the objectively most popular works of art from each denomination.

i always reblog pro wasp propaganda to spite my phobia

There needs to be a movement of people putting paint in fire extinguishers and super soakers and just covering every security camera that has been put up over the last forty years with paint or just pulling them down with like shovels and hoes or whatever they can do because honestly everyone hates them just get rid of them

This looks like a tool from the Billboard Liberation Front. I’ll bet they have a lot of other nifty tips that could be applicable in this case.

here’s a zine called blinding the cyclops about one person’s experience of going anti-camera. spoiler alert: it’s really fun

Exactamundo 1,000%

not just atheist but anti-theist. a divine being descends to earth and im in the background booing

god isn't real but if it was, we'd be obligated to imprison it for crimes against humanity

Ooh! I’ve got a short story I wrote about this! Basically the main concept is that God created humanity and earth and hell because he literally *feeds on pain!*

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

Happy Birthday Buddy!!

please reblog this until i find my true love. i am so alone

oh hell yeah even better

Reblogging for poly people, mono people, and people who need their keys

I wouldn’t wanna leave a trans polycule/ monogamy/ key chain incomplete

i lost my fucking keys

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

It doesn’t have to

Yes it does.

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041

please help my friend stay safe!

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

reblog to let prev know you’re proud of them

i

balance