poems

david fincher be like yes i made a movie no i will not light it properly i don’t want you to see it. i’m shy.

:(

“Then we’ll float around, like men”

“I am to metaphor cheese as metaphor cheese is to transitive verb crackers.”

“Sorbets are entirely made out of fancy people.”

“What? Do you think we’ll need more bulgarian folk dance music?”

“nothing says mothers love like a giant, robotic, platypus butt.”

“You know what I like about our friends? We say things like ‘We’re gonna douse you with ant pheromones’ and they’re just like ‘Okay, whatever’. They’re so cool!”

“Well it wasn’t really a pool, it was more of a… let’s just say it only had water in it on alternating Thursdays.”

“See, it had occurred to me that what I should REALLY be doing is fighting fire with fire. And by ‘fire’ I mean ‘Perry the Platypus’. And by ‘fire’ I ALSO mean ‘Perry the Platypus’. … It occurred to me while I was on fire.”

“I’m just saying, as a non sequitur, a talking zebra seems a little…” “Forced?” “Yeah, forced!”

“Run for your lives, it’s gnome-ageddon!”

“Look, they’ve started their own overpriced coffee franchise…that’s so 90s.”

“I am a dry-cleaning wheel. Why do I exist?”

“I have life-sized molds of all my friends.”

“Never eat a cactus if you are out of practice”

“Why do my nostrils whisper to me?”

“Move to France and refuse to speak French!”

“Your hot dog is no match for my bratwurst!”

“I’d had enough of science. I decided to devote my life to poetry instead. ‘The movies are grey, the tv is black, the horses are running, please bring me some food.’ Yet curiously I STILL lost to a baking soda volcano!”

“Lawn gnome beach party of taffeta, make a note of that.”

They went to the same University and ate at the same caf table in total silence for four straight years. They were best friends

i am all about gray foggy mornings in late autumn when there’s a chill and a shiver in my body. mornings that call for large sweaters and rain boots. standing in the woods with pine and rain and smoke in the air. or standing at the edge of the ocean with salt in your mouth and the wind in your hair. the feeling of being both lost and found at the same time. the promise of returning home in your hands. a lick of winter at your heels.

having no depth perception makes you wanna start shit

surprise kisses, french kisses, open mouth kisses, neck kisses, hand kisses, cheek kisses, small kisses, butterfly kisses, long kisses, first kisses, noisy kisses, eskimo kisses, shy kisses, spiderman kisses, slow kisses, forehead kisses, chin kisses, shoulder kisses, stomach kisses, your kisses