im very tired

hey loser, 2001 just called, apparently something awesome happened

Hold on I need to Google something

Oh my god

Sonic Adventure 2!?

they can't stop you from thinking about gay sex on company time

no condoms i jus superglue my dick shut #nutfortress

On the one hand, this year’s April Fools gag just being a game of centipede is kind of lazy, but on the other hand, I am sincerely relieved whenever this website shows any signs of life at all. I am glad they had the budget to do something for April Fools.

Being on Tumblr in 2026 is a lot like owning an extremely elderly cat and April Fools is like watching your geriatric pet get the zoomies. She’s still got it! She’ll live forever.

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

“ikr i only use it for-“ whatever you use chatgpt for is also embarrassing. you do not need the plagiarism machine that lies and evaporates water for anything actually

having a cat is great. there's a small little animal wandering around. effervescent

EATING MY CHARGER

Retired Hollanov become hockey commentators because you can’t tell me that’s not already how they watch broadcasts — it’s an improvement because they’re at least getting paid

When someone says they love you "for who you are" or "because you're you" that's not a cop-out or a non-answer. You are being told in no uncertain terms that you are loved for something that's not gonna change overnight. You can stop being funny. You can lose your skills. You can cease to be beautiful in the ways you currently are. But you can't stop being you. And therefore you can't stop being loved.