Not only that the language itself sounds straight out of a marvel forcibly funny haha moment, but Menelaus? The Menelaus who all thoughout human history, from Homer, to Sappho, to Euripides, to Virgil, to Shakespeare, to Brooke, to Barth; from Classical vases to Medieval poetry to Reinessance art, has been known as the man whose sword fell from his hands at the sight of his wife after 10 years apart?

"What joy for me to hold my wife" Menelaus?

"He flung the sword away, and kissed her feet" Menelaus?

"I believe all. I understand nothing. I love you" Menelaus?

"I have no fault to find; my wife, he daughter of Zeus and Leda, is mine again, she whom her brothers on their snow-white steeds, whilst torches blazed, made my happy bride, but gods removed her from my home." Menelaus?

The Menelaus who was picked out of the suitors by Helen herself? The Menelaus who couldn't kill a begging Trojan so his brother had to do it for him? The Menelaus who rescued Odysseus and got out Patroclus' body? The Menelaus who volounteered to fight Paris one on one so everybody could go home? Who kept expressing his guilt about himself being the cause of war through every assembly he spoke at in the Iliad? Who after 10 years away at Troy, took his wife through a 7-year long journey at sea back home, where he reinstated her as the queen of Sparta? Who wept like a child in front of Telemachus recalling the war and his brother and all the friends he lost and the only consolation being his wife' gentle hand on his?

You want me to believe that man scarred Helen's face and called her only worth half the ships because of it?

Ok... let me apologize in advance. Whenever I get to the where point I feel the urge to write out and just brain dump all the everything-in-my-head, I know it's going to be a LOOONG post. I'm sorry for that. Being succinct feels impossible for me.

The other day, I drew Jimothy fanart. Yes. I did the thing soo many other artists are doing right now: drawing a current 'celebrity' animal. And then... I just posted it as is. There were no extra thoughts shared. I just wanted to portray this little raccoon in my art and style and share that with others who currently had learned of Jimothy.

Should I go into detail? (I often don't in the general public space, and sometimes do on my Patreon for my paid tier members). Seeing especially the videos of baby Jimothy with his mom and siblings has given me a moment of warm fuzzies. His mom is so gentle and caring, helping him in ways she doesn't have to help his siblings. She carries him carefully as they walk along the top of a tall fence.

I grew up in a very psychologically/emotionally/spiritually abusive household. My mom in particular, whom I am no contact with now, was terrible in so many ways. And as an undiagnosed autistic/adhd/+ queer, POC-in-the-evangelical-white-south kid, I had to survive that environment (along with my siblings).

I often get struck right in the heart when I see things like parents being kind to their kids. Parents being supportive. Understanding. Parents who might struggle with something, but ultimately they decide their love for their kid and their desire for their kid to genuinely thrive is bigger than their struggle. It's so wonderful to see, and so terrible to see. It hurts so bad, yet I am so happy for those kids.

Also, if you haven't noticed. I depict a LOT of things using animals (in this case, I mean non-human animals). There's a reason I choose animals. It's easier for me to convey things I want without feeling like it's getting caught on or snagged by other things. Depicting human stuff via animals let's me strip off certain characteristics that would potentially be a barrier for people who might otherwise see themselves in the piece I share.

Jimothy... is an animal. Jimothy has disabilities. Jimothy's mom, unlike mine, chose to be gentle and tailor her care to his condition and specific needs. My mom didn't do that. There are other things I could explain too, but hopefully a few examples of what made me "feel something" when it came to this raccoon will suffice for now.

I shared my art, knowing that there were others who found some sort of positive SOMETHING related to knowing about this raccoon. So much of my Hello We Are Rats stuff is packed full of layers of thought and meaning. I often try to depict so much in a bite-sized format. But, honestly? I just wanted to draw Jimothy.

I did follow it up in my stories, which I know VERY few people actually watch, with some other thoughts I have about it all. "If only disabled humans were embraced so easily." I also shared others' posts too that captured a more social/political take.

A few people asked me about prints and shirts when it came to the Jimothy fan art. I told them I'd put them up in my shop for them. If people feel something positive and warm, and my art can help be a container for that, I thought I could provide them the tangible pieces for them to enjoy it.

Plus... if I'm honest... I'm a full-time artist who is barely pulling in anything. I used to be more focused on merch through a few other brands / comic brands I have. I have a love hate relationship with merch. I love creating things that people will enjoy and love and want. I hate adding to overconsumption and waste. I hate marketing and pushing for sales. I wish I could just present what I have so those who want the things can get them, and that's it. I wish, so much, I could just focus primarily on creating content and being paid for that content. But alas, when your business relies so heavily on the internet, and essentially requires you to create content for "free" / "free to consume," it's HARD.

I woke up this morning to someone accusing me of profiting off a disabled raccoon and that I "can't be bothered to represent disability when asked." They decided to then leave a negative review on my page with these thoughts, and share my Jimothy art with a long write up essentially saying that "people with platforms" claim to care about opression and progress and instead "do this shit" instead of being anti-ableist. Followed up with, "This is why disabled people die everyday, first, get erased by everyone, but ohh a cute racoon who doesn't require me to work at all!!!!"

When I replied to their direct comment on my post, they seem to feel entitled to the way I create my work and what I depict, as they're angry at me for not having essentially fulfilled their request for content thus far. They also seem entitled to how I respond or don't respond to their engagement on my posts. They said I made time to reply to the people around their comment and couldn't even push a button in response to them.

Yet, ironically, the posts they made were partly saying how Patreon is not accessible to them (I was trying to direct people to leave comments on a free Patreon post of mine) due to limited energy and function. Their whole post was about disability, and they seem to understand how disability can impact people; and yet there's zero consideration, it feels, for someone (me) being disabled and trying to manage and run "a platform" on their own. (For the record, I reacted to a single comment on that post. I also responded to a single person who wasn't sharing their stories as I asked, but was more discussing my issue about posting links and how Facebook limits reach if you do.)

I have other thoughts and feelings about their original comment, which I chose to leave alone and not make a thing out of... and, for now, I will choose to leave alone still. It's a separate thing.

Here's the thing: Even if I absolutely hate the way they approached addressing me with their concerns, I recognize that does not mean an argument is invalid. And so... I do what I always do. I've been spending the day anxiously processing all this in my head, looking at even more stuff, and trying to decide whether I really am all the bad things they claim I am.

Yes. The fact that I responded to people who asked for merch featuring my illustration of Jimothy does mean that I am capitalizing on it. That's sadly the truth. But also... please explain to me how I'm supposed to pay the bills while also getting to ALL the different content and representation people want to see in a timely manner. What should I do to have ANY income? Because for the last 3ish + years, and beyond that in many ways, I haven't been earning a living wage. I am SO FORTUNATE I have/had people in my life who have been massively integral to keeping me from being homeless. They are the ones who are really funding my art that I share for free.

What art can I sell so that I don't get yelled at? I have prints of my queer art. I have a print about Palestine. Am I exploiting all of those communities and peoples because I'm trying to afford to continue to create the art about them? Because I put prints in my shop after being asked if they're available because people felt touched by the piece?

Or maybe... I should just stop making social/political art so that I can lean more into selling the art, right?? That's the solve, right? I feel bad every time I remind people quietly in small corners of my internet space (like my stories) that I have a Patreon, and that those members are generously being the ones funding my content. I feel bad whenever I remind people I have a shop (that gets, currently, maybe one order every month or two.) I hate capitalism too–and maybe this is a cop out to say all this–but I don't know what I'm supposed to do to survive it if I'm expected to be the representation for everyone, but also I better not be making any money off it, or else I'm evil and exploitive.

I get it. I get that there are complex feelings. I get that there's anger. Bitterness. Hurt. I spent and spend my life navigating all that. I get that there are many who feel like nobody should be emotionally embracing Jimothy. I get that the social embracing of him also unfortunately can put him at risk. But... a lot of these communities... the queer community... the disability community... they're not monoliths... People feel different ways about these things...

And maybe that's an excuse. Maybe what I'm doing and trying to explain away really is all wrong and bad. And that is part of why I'm making this post. Because... at the end of the day, I'm ALWAYS turning the lens in on myself and scrutinizing myself. And I want to be open to hearing from others who are part of the communities that I get accused of negatively impacting.

It doesn't matter, in a sense, that I am part of these groups too. I don't think belonging to something means you are incapable of causing harm for those communities. But it does really sting that it feels like lately... it's people who "are on the same side" as me accusing me of hurting the communities I care about and try hard to represent.

So yes. I'm opening myself up for thoughts and feedback. Though I'd prefer it be a little gentler than the feedback that inspired this post, if you feel generous...

Lastly, I'm realizing I forgot to mention this. On disability representation in my work: after this post, I will post up a collection of comics that have that in it. I may not have made a blatantly spelled out disability post since this person made the request, but part of it is because 1) I've been including disability representation even when the posts aren't specifically focused on it, 2) I think it can be argued that a LOT of my comics, including recent ones, are representing invisible/developmental disabilities. Like most of my comics, I often don't spell it out (for reasons), and 3) prior to the year and a half where I was completely offline due to my own... disabilities... I also spent a long chunk of time primarily creating content focused on Palestine.

It just feels kind of ironic to be essentially screamed at for not representing disabled people while also being asked to recognize someone's limits due to their disability, but I'm not given any room for how my disability has and does impact my work and output too...

Anyway... I hope those of you who've been around and have probably experienced at least one or two of my posts of this nature will be honest with me. I don't claim to be infallible, and I am always trying to grow, even if it sucks sometimes. But I hope, also, that my heart comes through in my work, my words, what I share, etc. Regardless, intention only goes so far. I care about my impact and do my best to be rigorously critical of what I create and share with you all...

(Yeah, it's long AF. I'm sorry. This is why I draw bite-sized comics instead of write for you all... 🫠. I'm sorry I don't have alt text for all this... It's been a day...)

The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There's a back entrance but it's deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.

The door to MY unit now... has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.

There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.

This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors' unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.

Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won't be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.

Text neighbor about predicament. They're willing to look at my door bUT (it's Christmas) they're not home and not getting home until the next day.

Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren't attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying "okay if I don't hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?" (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)

Catsitter is very not keen on the idea

Patches is unaware she's a prisoner.

Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.

Okay... Good Enough... (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn't missed any meals but we're going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).

6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.

8:30pm I'm figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn't go through.

Text neighbor's partner being like "hey sorry, can't seem to reach Molly--". Get a text back "Sorry this is Molly on David's phone! My phone died." Family Christmas plans ran late but they're on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.

9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text "David fixed your door!" Woo!

Friday 5pm I finally get home

Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child

Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob

...Doorknob falls off

Falls off right into my hands

Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.

Fucking

Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David's door. David is luckily home. "My doorknob fell off again can I go home"

David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn't even notice because I'm like my cat.

Get in through the back hall.

Patches comes bounding over.

My cat.

Doesn't even know she was a prisoner.

Doesn't even know what a doorknob is.

Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I'm like "I Did Not Even Notice."

Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.

Can't even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.

I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it's not worth the risk

I'm gonna try to fix the doorknob

Or... buy? a new doorknob?

On Amazon searching "doorknob".

You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.

To swap in the new knob I'd need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which

With what tools

That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don't need fucking Redwall in my home.

Probably bad for the integrity of the door

I don't wanna.

I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it's got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.

I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door...?

(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don't have the two spokes)

(I think the two spokes might be standard.)

Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).

In the meantime, because I'd already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.

This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.

Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.

I'm retightening all the screws.

So it does!

Never heard the term "spindle doorknob" before so I never would have found this on my own.

They're also all labeled "vintage" which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.

Several dozen stories of other people getting locked in/out of bathrooms/basements/classrooms/bedrooms/buildings. Extra shout out to the person whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid4reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesdweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Patches is on my keyboard

whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid succession, to both sides of a classroom door after being saved the first time.

Several people taking this as a sign to go tighten their doorknob screws, including someone whose knob fell off in their hands while doing this

10 or so people reading the "can't have shit in Detroit" meme to mean I live in Detroit. Sorry to confess I'm a fake Detroitite. Doxxing myself by 0.00001% more by informing the world I live in not-Detroit.

Many many people wondering why I'm not pestering my landlord about this. Truth is my landlord is way too sexy, cool, fashionable, smart, pretty, funny, and popular on Tumblr to it's me. It's me. I'm me I'm my landlord. It's my condo. Including, with immense regret, every single doorknob inside.

3 separate professional locksmiths who have reached out offering advice, which is very cool. I have burst into a virtual hardware store clutching my shit doorknob and fainted, only to be caught by three very strong and cool locksmiths rushing to my aid.

ALSO MY PAPER TOWELS

(Ran out of paper towels)

Old knob coming off.

Wretched thing. Accursed knob of woe.

Get undid

New knob reign by forceful coup. Went to great pains to PRECISELY wait Patches is escaping

Patches retrieved

Anyway GREAT care was taken to ensure both knobs are ALIGNED, EVEN, SCREWED ON, with the wait hang on

Patches retrieved again.

Anyway

DOORKNOB SCREWED ON

KNOB

The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There's a back entrance but it's deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.

The door to MY unit now... has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.

There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.

This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors' unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.

Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won't be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.

Text neighbor about predicament. They're willing to look at my door bUT (it's Christmas) they're not home and not getting home until the next day.

Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren't attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying "okay if I don't hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?" (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)

Catsitter is very not keen on the idea

Patches is unaware she's a prisoner.

Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.

Okay... Good Enough... (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn't missed any meals but we're going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).

6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.

8:30pm I'm figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn't go through.

Text neighbor's partner being like "hey sorry, can't seem to reach Molly--". Get a text back "Sorry this is Molly on David's phone! My phone died." Family Christmas plans ran late but they're on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.

9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text "David fixed your door!" Woo!

Friday 5pm I finally get home

Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child

Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob

...Doorknob falls off

Falls off right into my hands

Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.

Fucking

Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David's door. David is luckily home. "My doorknob fell off again can I go home"

David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn't even notice because I'm like my cat.

Get in through the back hall.

Patches comes bounding over.

My cat.

Doesn't even know she was a prisoner.

Doesn't even know what a doorknob is.

Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I'm like "I Did Not Even Notice."

Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.

Can't even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.

I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it's not worth the risk

I'm gonna try to fix the doorknob

Or... buy? a new doorknob?

On Amazon searching "doorknob".

You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.

To swap in the new knob I'd need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which

With what tools

That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don't need fucking Redwall in my home.

Probably bad for the integrity of the door

I don't wanna.

I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it's got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.

I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door...?

(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don't have the two spokes)

(I think the two spokes might be standard.)

Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).

In the meantime, because I'd already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.

This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.

Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.

I'm retightening all the screws.

So it does!

Never heard the term "spindle doorknob" before so I never would have found this on my own.

They're also all labeled "vintage" which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.

Several dozen stories of other people getting locked in/out of bathrooms/basements/classrooms/bedrooms/buildings. Extra shout out to the person whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid4reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesdweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Patches is on my keyboard

whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid succession, to both sides of a classroom door after being saved the first time.

Several people taking this as a sign to go tighten their doorknob screws, including someone whose knob fell off in their hands while doing this

10 or so people reading the "can't have shit in Detroit" meme to mean I live in Detroit. Sorry to confess I'm a fake Detroitite. Doxxing myself by 0.00001% more by informing the world I live in not-Detroit.

Many many people wondering why I'm not pestering my landlord about this. Truth is my landlord is way too sexy, cool, fashionable, smart, pretty, funny, and popular on Tumblr to it's me. It's me. I'm me I'm my landlord. It's my condo. Including, with immense regret, every single doorknob inside.

3 separate professional locksmiths who have reached out offering advice, which is very cool. I have burst into a virtual hardware store clutching my shit doorknob and fainted, only to be caught by three very strong and cool locksmiths rushing to my aid.

ALSO MY PAPER TOWELS

(Ran out of paper towels)

Old knob coming off.

Wretched thing. Accursed knob of woe.

Get undid

New knob reign by forceful coup. Went to great pains to PRECISELY wait Patches is escaping

Patches retrieved

Anyway GREAT care was taken to ensure both knobs are ALIGNED, EVEN, SCREWED ON, with the wait hang on

Patches retrieved again.

Anyway

DOORKNOB SCREWED ON

KNOB

In addition to finding out where in Africa her ancestors were abducted into slavery, Mary Moran discovered the meaning of the Mende song: a processional hymn for the final farewell to the spirit, it was sung in Senehun Ngola by women as they prepared the body of a loved one for burial.