songsandnotes

So, this is the post I had written last year before starting my EVS in Vilnius and in the end didn’t publish to post something abnormally anxious instead. Oh boy, was I wrong! 2017 turned out to be everything I hoped for and more, with both its totally awesome ups and few inevitable downs! Tomorrow in Rome it will be the dawn of a new adventure, the first step of my next journey... and you know what? Technical details aside, the point of this post still applies! But of course I’m trying to live this new experience with a bit less anxiety and worry than last time, putting into practice everything I’ve learned since then! Fingers crossed... and more details to come (soon, I hope) 😉 

January 9th, 2017. Vilnius, Lithuania. EVS. Seven months.

I wrote the incipit of this post at least three or four times before realizing that I could just cut the story short and go straight to the point.

Because there are still plenty of things to arrange, plan and figure out, but in two weeks I’m really supposed to hop on a plane with nothing but a backpack and checked-in bag with me. I got my ticket, my accomodation is being taking care of, and even though I’ll have my working schedule only after having a good and complete look at the school’s activities, this is really it.

So here we go again. I’m going on an adventure! A different one from last time, but nonethless an adventure.

And whatever happens in the next days, weeks, months, good or bad, I want two things to be clear:

I’m volunteering. It’s not a job, not a “career opportunity”, not a chance to live abroad for free. I do believe that these kind of projects can be enriching, empowerful and life changing for everyone involved in a way that has nothing to do with money or anything material. Some things should matter more than just that, and this is one of them.

I’m seizing the opportunity of going abroad because I want to, not because my country offers me nothing nor I’m tired of it. I believe in the power of multiculturalism, and even though the phisical journey of travelling and moving abroad worries and stresses me to very long extends sometimes [lol and to think now that I basically spent the year with my bag always packed, travelling through countries, spending so much time at bus stations and airports... ♥], the challenge changes and rewards me in a way that nothing else does. I want to learn. I love to learn! About other cultures, people, and myself. If you read my posts from last year, I was talking about moving to France or Portugal, but then I realized that I wanted something more different and new from what I’m already used to, and that eventually brought me to Eastern Europe and to this beautiful project! In Vilnius I’m going to have the opportunity of gaining new skills, learning new languages and broaden my horizons on both a personal and artistic level, something I could never have at home.

I think that the EVS program, as well as other projects carried out by the Erasmus+ program, truly embodies the spirit and values behind the idea of the birth of the European Union. Call me naive, it’s okay. These are the values I’ve chosen to believe in and stand for, my way of trying to do something that really matters.

They say that only by writing something, anything, you can get a chance of actually writing something good, and I think that the same logic can be applied here too - I can’t be sure that this experience will be useful or helpful to me and anyone else, but still I have to try to have at least one small chance of actually doing things right.

Considering how little I’ve update this blog lately, I thought about just opening an Instagram account this time... but then I went to Milan from my pre-departure meeting and took a total of zero pics, so I guess I’ll just stick to writing (and posting the few pictures [well, this also turned out very differently in the end 😉] I’ll take while there here too).

As always, wheather your questions or doubts concerns EVS, au pairing or anything else I’ve ever talked about on this blog, feel free to ask :)

Till next time, Valeria

Ma si sa come siamo noi giovani – choosy, con il mondo a portata di click e le low cost con cui volare da un lato all'altro dell’Europa al prezzo di un sabato sera in discoteca.

E capita che l’Italia non basti e che persino l’Europa non basti più, che si voglia fare un’esperienza diversa! Capita che per necessità o virtù ci si spinga oltreoceano, al di là del Mediterraneo o degli Urali! E se per la maggior parte dei Paesi, per una vacanza basta il Passaporto (che da quando è elettronico prevede una procedura di richiesta online che possiamo definire quantomeno intuitiva), per studio, lavoro o volontariato è indispensabile munirsi di visto.

La documentazione da presentare alle ambasciate o autorità consolari varia ovviamente da Paese in Paese e a seconda della tipologia richiesta, e capita che fili tutto liscio...come che la raccolta di timbri e certificati si riveli un’avventura alla pari di quelle da vivere nell'agognato Paese di destinazione.

Un’avventura all'interno dei tanti Uffici Complicazioni Affari Semplici della nostra amata Pubblica Amministrazione che mai avrei immaginato qualche mese fa, e di cui ho deciso di condividere le lezioni imparate nel tempo, con la speranza che i miei consigli possano essere d’aiuto a chi ignaro si appresti dopo di me a tentare tali ardue imprese.

Non fatelo. Se siete ancora in tempo, ripensateci. L’Italia è grande, l’Europa ancora di più e non avete bisogni di visti o apostille che siano per studiare in un’università prestigiosa o fare un’esperienza lavorativa all'estero. E i programmi di volontariato o scambio finanziati dall'UE sono tanti e vari (domandare per credere). Se siete ancora in tempo, ripensateci.

Chiamate sempre al telefono prima di recarvi di persona in un ufficio pubblico. Perché capita che gli orari di apertura al pubblico di alcuni uffici non siano indicati, o siano addirittura non aggiornati e sbagliati sui siti delle stesse istituzioni a cui fanno capo. Perderete magari qualche giorno cercando di mettervi in contatto con centralini che non rispondono, ma quando qualcuno per sfinimento alzerà finalmente la cornetta, sareste soddisfatti di avanzare una semplice richiesta di conoscenza dei tempi di rilascio di un certificato agli altri 3 impiegati a cui sarete di volta in volta rimbalzati fino a trovare l’anima pia che possiede la risposta alla vostra semplice domanda.

Siate onniscienti. Perché qualsiasi ufficio voi chiamiate, se e quando qualcuno mai vi risponderà, vi risponderà con un semplice ed universale “Pronto”. “Pronto”, così. Non “Pronto, centralino della Procura di Vattelappesca” o “Pronto, Ufficio Scolastico della Terra di Mezzo.”. “Pronto”, come se stessero rispondendo ad un cugino al cellulare.

Non siate troppo onniscienti. Mettiamo che abbiate già scaricato i moduli di richiesta di alcuni certificati direttamente dal sito web dell’ente e li abbiate addirittura compilati in ogni loro parte, perché mettere il funzionario incaricato nella posizione di controllare se possono andare bene anche quelli rispetto ai ben più vecchi moduli presenti in dotazione al loro ufficio? Perché costringerlo a dire cose come “vanno bene, dai...addirittura li ha compilati tutti”? Lasciatelo qualche spazio vuoto qua e là, non ce li mettete proprio tutti tutti gli estremi della persona o di un documento di riconoscimento che tanto non vi verrà richiesto. Non esagerate, siate umili.

Recatevi direttamente presso gli uffici pubblici senza chiamare prima. Perché magari chiamate per chiedere informazioni su una pratica, e una volta arrivati all'ufficio in uno degli orari e giorni indicati, i responsabili del procedimento semplicemente non ci siano. “Domani è la festa patronale, oggi siamo un po’ a corto di organico”, dirà a voi e all'altra decina di persone in fila per i motivi più diversi il malcapitato receptionist. L’ufficio è aperto, non si fa mica ponte come in un liceo qualsiasi, è semplicemente il personale a mancare. Ineccepibile.

Se possibile, richiedete i certificati giudiziari online. E risparmiatevi l’arrabbiatura se la vostra Procura di competenza non dovesse risultare in lista sul sito del Ministero tra quelle che usufruiscono del servizio, e una volta recati all'Ufficio del Casellario troverete invece un cartello che a chiare lettere vi indichi il contrario con tanto di link di riferimento – digitato al computer, l’indirizzo risulterà comunque non raggiungibile.

Se possibile, richiedete i certificati scolastici via mail. Donne e uomini di poca fede, l'anno è il 2017 e le segreterie scolastiche usano la posta elettronica proprio come tutti noi! Poi certo, dopo una settimana di silenzio dovrete comunque chiamare al telefono,  perché l'incaricato ha sì letto la vostra mail ma ha deciso di ignorarla in quanto non avete fornito un recapito telefonico. Cosa che in realtà avevate fatto, ma "ah scusi, l'ho visto solo adesso". (Resta il mistero di come, anche in mancanza di un recapito telefonico, l'impiegato non potesse semplicemente rispondere alla mail che gli avevate correttamente mandato.)

Preparatevi a pagare. Anche quando le procedure sono indicate come gratuite. Perché può capitare che una procedura sia gratuita, ma non il documento. O che lo sia il documento, ma non la procedura. Soprattutto quando si tratta di apostille e documenti bollati, siate pronti a tutto. Poi certo, la cosa può variare da Prefettura a Prefettura, da Provincia a Provincia. Ah, ma non le avevamo abolite le Province?

Munitevi di contante. Perché sembra che le marche da bollo non si possano pagare con carta di credito, indipendentemente dall'ammontare. Magari lo sapete già tutti e sono io l’unica ignorante che credeva di poterle comprare con carta, o magari era il tabaccaio a non essere aggiornato, ma se volete evitare la corsa contro il tempo al bancomat mentre i documenti richiesti rimangono in ostaggio del funzionario incaricato a pochi minuti dalla chiusura dell’ufficio, io un prelievo preventivo lo farei comunque.

I went back to London! I was tired of Vilnius, the city, the people, the weather, the routine... plus, Easter was coming and it was the first time I would spend a major holiday away from home, some homesickness started to kick in as well. So why not to go a few days to my second home? It had been so long, first time I went back after my year as an au pair there...and as silly as it may sound, I'll never forget the feeling of listening to "Castle on the hill" on the bus that took me from Stansted to the city, or the buzzing vibe I got dropping off at Stratford, and nor even the simple excitement of using my older Oyster card again! I went to the National Gallery for the billionth time, it's one of my favourite places, and I think I got the closest to the Stendhal Syndrome I'll ever be! I felt home, I was surrounded by familiar faces and places. I should also say that going there on vacation didn't feel as good as living there, I've changed and grown up since last time, and in some moments I felt out of place and perhaps a bit lonely too, but still it was a good call to go back in that moment - after the end of my honeymoon phase with the life I was living in Vilnius, those 5 days in London really recharged my batteries for the second half of my EVS! It's said that you should never go back to a place you were once happy, but I think London will always be worth making an exception.

In June I finished my work in school. And when I say finished, I mean it. I learnt everything I could have learnt, and I give everything I could have given! I'm proud of what I achieved... of what WE achieved! My tutor, mentor, the kids... we all feel we did a fantastic job, and I couldn't be happier about it! I'll never forget the laughs, the shared moments... all the times one of my students would literally run from across the street just to say hello on the way back home! The Stranger Things marathon (yes, that happened)! I really left a piece of my heart in that school, I'll never stop feeling speechlessly thankful for the time I spent in there, I'm forever grateful.

Speaking of gratefulness, I'll never be able to repay my host family of all the smiles, hugs, chats, meals and time we shared! They really are special people. Not flawless, but sure better than most. I could actually call their house my home for the five months (and a half) I was there, there had never been a day in which I didn't feel welcomed! Sure living with a host family can be though sometimes (especially one as big, busy and different from mine as them) and it can't and shouldn't be forever, but it was worth it, and I'm looking forward to seeing them again sometime in the future! They made my time there, they truly did.

I travelled. Of course London, Paris, Warsaw, Rome, a bit (a lot, basically every weekend during the last two months there) around Lithuania too. And back to Italy at the end of my EVS, of course! For different reasons, with different people, sometimes with friends and others alone, and I spent way more hours on buses that I would have wanted to... but I felt alive. Citizen of Europe, citizen of the World. Everything I've always wanted! People say travelling is addictive, I can confirm. Not gonna lie, at this point sometimes I feel like I want to stop wandering about, to stop moving abroad or at least to do it for good, to find a more stable job, maybe go back to uni... but not just yet, not just yet 😉

I fell in love with someone. We both did. Some kind of teenage love, sudden and irrational! And at the same time very mature, at least on my side. It really is a beautiful feeling to fall for someone so effortlessly, it was so different from all the drama I had gone through in the past. And for three months I had it all - work, family, friends, and someone to share all my happiness with. Someone to be happy with. We were happy, everyone saw we were so happy! I have the best memories about that time, I'll always love the way he made me feel loved. And then things changed. I've always known it would have had to end at some point, but "some point" arrived earlier than I wanted. We've always known to be different in interests and personality, I knew he wasn't my "soulmate", we never had a future (nor we cared)... but still, all these things were never a problem until they were. To be honest I still have to understand what happened, so I can come to terms with it and move forward, but maybe it's just too soon. I don't know, this experience abroad has been so emotionally intense from start to finish, perhaps I'm just putting everything in this breakup right now. I didn't feel sad when I left Vilnius though I had all the reasons to, maybe it's just all kicking in now. One moment I'm angry, the other I think I'm over it, the next I'm just sad, then numb and then angry back again... you should see my playlists! 🙃 Too soon, too soon. But people say writing about it can help, so here we are. Best way I have to describe what went wrong? We don't speak the same language anymore. Now I can't even understand how we ever did, but sure we don't anymore. We know we both don't want and never wanted to do any harm to the other, and yet at some point everything started to hurt, every action and word misunderstood. Everything made sense till it didn't anymore. It's sad, where should all the love go? What should I do with it? I know breaking up was right, but right doesn't mean good. We were in love and still there's some left, it can't feel good. And here's the paradox - it makes sense that everything ended as suddenly and irrationally as it started, but being the rational person I am, it drives me crazy to not have a reason for what happened. Yes, we both (more or less) made mistakes and I can pinpoint the moments that eventually rushed me to taking that decision, but not the reason behind it. And I just can't stop thinking about it, I can't wrap my mind around it... yet. But I have no regrets. It was so good, simple and beautiful, so for once I have no regrets.

And right after the breakup (like, not even 24 hours later), a dream of mine finally came true. Everything I hoped and worked for during the past years... I made it! I got in! I'm not gonna believe it until I'll actually cross the border (especially since there's a VISA to apply for, and anxious as I am I'm too focused stressing about that for now), but if everything goes well, I'll spend the next year in Brazil! 🇧🇷 Awesome. Fantastic. Crazy exciting! And obviously it deserves its own post, sometime in the future. Not today though, because even if I deserve and should feel absolutely overjoyed about it, right now I'm simply not. I wish I was already, but I'm human and my brain is not made of sealed compartments, so while January seems so far away, what I feel about my breakup right now feels...well, so right now. I deserve to be happy, but I deserve closure first. And luckily or not, there's time - everyone I tell about Brazil to is so enthusiast for me, so happy... and I will too! Not just yet, but I 110% will 🙂

To the next five! 🥂