Because I'm Hopeful

We make babies

But we don't share them

We like babies

But we can't carry them

We wanted babies

But we're far from steady

We have babies

But we weren't ready

We love our babies

But we aren't parents

Because we are babies

But we do cherish them

We needed our babies

And they need us as well

We'll give them everything

And we'll never tell

How much we lost

To gain them

How much it costs

To not blame them

How hard it is

To truly love another

But they deserve way more

Than a good dad and mother

We make babies

We learn to share with them

We like babies

We take good care of them

We wanted babies

We dreamt it everyday

We have babies

We will love them,

When you hear my words Does your breathing change? Does a smile or a smirk Make you rearrange your position? Do you hang on every word you listen to? Am I somewhat intriguing to you? Do my lips remind you of something different, Maybe about yourself Or some part that you own? Does my tone send a smooth shiver Down your spine? Does your mind wonder And does your chest fill with heat? Do you sit at the edge of your seat? Do any of the muscles in your thighs twitch? Does it itch in places that are somewhat hard to scratch? If you feel any of the above Then that means that you Are missing my love

See, I'm one hell of a bone Not even worthy of being called a bitch Bitches are the ones you marry And have a bunch of babies with Me? I'm the one you bury after you're done But you never forget where, though You see, dogs are creatures of habit And when a bone tastes this good You just can't help but to go fetch it Again, and again, and again Licking it dry, leaving it meatless And with your smell, and drool, and desire Smeared all over it See, I'm the kind of bone that you bury deep But funnily enough, You never forget where, though

It's been more than a year now and I still feel it.

I am still looking at you from across the table and thinking about how I really can't say if you're cute or not.

I am still being swung around on the dance floor "as if we've choreographed it before".

I am still saying no even though I wanted so much more of you, And there were no guaranties, no to be continued, no tomorrow.

Nothing else mattered. Even that whole day didn't matter. Because I know now that when some things are destined to happen, they always find a way.

We would've always crossed paths.

It would've always been that amazing, and intense, and beautiful, and soul defining.

It would've always been this destructive, this offensive, this painful, and soul crushing.

I would've always seen in you all that you really are, good and bad.

I would've always been this mad. Sad. Insane. In love.

And you would always find a way to stay and go at the same time.

I wonder if she's ever played her violin naked for you After or before you've made love If she has composed a melody in your name That reflects the ups and downs Twists and turns Curves and waves And wavelength of your whole being

I wonder if she's used to seeing your naked body As well as your naked soul If her goal is to play you so well You'll never want or hunger for another sound That is not her rendition of you

I wonder if you understand eve the slightest Little bit about music, about love, or both To comprehend the depth to which her affection Runs deep through you

I wonder if you remove yourself just enough To let her fill the space inside of you The space between you And remind you with every note That you are loved

I have never known love to be such a harbinger of chaos.

All of it ensues in a dance of passion, power, anger and lust.

All of it threatens what you know, knew, have and have lost.

All of it opens doors to hope, fulfilment, happiness and trust.

All of it promises to erase the previous you,

Making way for a better or worse version.

All of it reminds you of what is only true,

Me, in relation to you

It's like a million knives poking the pit of my stomach, stretching its boundaries to the very limit, reaffirming the impossibility of you ever fitting inside of me without all of my emotions bursting out.

It's like shouting with all that you've got in a nightmare you can never wake from, were I become a slave to my fears, and all of my fears begin and end were your eyes stop to shine while staring at my dying carcass.

It's like begging for forgiveness in silence and repeating it in murmured whispers during the night, in the hopes that your subconscious will pick up on the energy I spread to the universe, asking only that you remain as beautiful and safe as you surely were before me.

It's like pulling my tongue out of my mouth and chopping it into little pieces because it dared to ever belittle you, shame you, reduce you, corner you and convince you that I was nothing more than less of what you'd ever deserve.

It's like turning off all of the lights but still being able to see you clearly. You shine brightest in the dark. In the corners of the scary world we thread in. And in you I've found paradise, over, and over, and over... again.

Let it all sink in. 

The feeling of having so much control that it overwhelms you.

Good or bad, feelings are made to be felt.

Whatever happens next is up to you. 

How do you really know

If you've done all you could?

How are you so sure

That everything you had

Was all you could summon?

How can you be certain

That there is no more extra mile?

No more than 100%?

No more of what you meant to give?

How will you live

After you leave?

After you've put so much

Into that something?

After everyone has

Clearly seen

Your initial intentions?

How will you mention

Moving on?

How will you begin anew?

How do you collect

Yourself and start again?

How do you really know

He bleeds me dry.

He dries me cold.

He leaves me cold, heartless and soft.

Small, empty, lost.

So why would I in turn only wish him peace and love?

What do two mirrors say to each other when they speak?

Who reflects who first? Does being first even matter?

If either one won't shatter unless the other does

If none of them is able to see anything other than their own reflection

But do they reflect each other infinitely

And talk about their half ways, since all they are is each other?

Or do they never break the silence and stare blankly at one another?

What do two mirrors do to each other when they meet?

Do they mimic every movement, sign and breathing

Or does looking into themselves makes it easier for believing

That the absence of reality is the only truth?

That there is no real self, only reflection, only youth

An unforgiving attachment to others in order to define

Where one mirror ends and the other begins

Who's the one who prays and the one who sins?

What do two mirrors see when they look at each other?

Will they forever reflect one another?

Or hope for one of them to shatter?

I don't know what's heavier

The weight of my body

Or the weight of my soul

My heart of gold

Has been tainted

With the blackness

Of indifference

And self reliance

I was giving everything

When nothing belonged to me

And waited for scraps

For anything that came in my direction

I am weary

I am tired

I am fatigued

I have had enough of hurting

For the sake of finding

A better way to happiness

No more shortcuts

No more dead dreams

No more lies and schemes

No more weight

Your love kills me everyday

For if I fall, your demise would soon follow

If I were weak, your strength would soon falter

If I gave up, your mercy would be revealed

if I stood still, your walk would be heeled

Your love kills me everyday

For I am all of you

And you are all to me

Your love kills me everyday

I like you loud You love me silent Our love is violent Violent, violent

I like you hard You like me compliant Our love is violent Violent, violent

I saw your truth You saw me crying Your love is violent Violent, violent

I hate you rude You hate me defiant My love is violent Violent, violent

You feed me lies I’m no longer buying’em Your love is violent Violent, violent

You like to use I’m no longer hiding My love is violent Violent, violent

You don’t know love I’m no longer trying Our love is violent Violent, violent